Traditional vs. Gestational Surrogates

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When a woman begins the process of becoming a surrogate, she can easily become overwhelmed with new terms and new definitions. One of those areas that can sometimes become confusing is the type of surrogate to become. There are two main types: gestational and traditional.

At Shared Conception, we work with only gestational surrogates. What does that mean, exactly? Gestational surrogates are women who have no biological link to the babies they are carrying. The baby is a combination of the intended parents or an egg donor. The gestational surrogate has no biological connection to the baby or babies she is carrying at all.

Other agencies use traditional surrogates. Traditional surrogates are women whose own eggs are used in the pregnancy. Shared Conception does not work with traditional surrogates due to the obvious legal and emotional aspects of this complicated situation.

Are you ready to get started finding out more about becoming a gestational surrogate? Ask us!

Favorite Blogs We Follow

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There are several great blog sites available that journey through the process of surrogacy. Here are a few of our favorite blogs to check out!

– A Surrogate’s Journey. (http://beautifulsurrogacy.blogspot.com/) Brandy is a surrogate who writes a blog geared toward people considering being a surrogate or using one. She is candid, open and honest about her journey.

– Life of a Surrogate. (http://lifeofasurrogate.blogspot.com/) Kim is a blogger who has already been a surrogate and is on her journey to be a surrogate again. This is an honest blogger who details the highs, and lows, of being a surrogate.

– 4 Star Womb. (http://4starwomb.blogspot.com/) This mother of four is starting her first surrogacy. It’s so exciting to watch her experience all pregnancy has to offer!

– I’m Not the Mom, I’m Just the Stork. (http://justthestork.blogspot.com/) A two-time surrogate shares the stories of her life.

What are you favorite bloggers to follow?

Why should you choose Shared Conception?

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We know when you Google “Surrogacy Agency,” a person can become overwhelmed with the results. There are lots of surrogacy agencies and choosing the “best” one is sometimes a daunting task in itself. However, we believe Shared Conception is the best option as a surrogacy agency and we’re ready to prove it to you.

First, we take our job so seriously. We work hard to match surrogates with their intended parents. This step is so crucial and important to the entire surrogacy journey. Finding the right fit for both parties is one of our many strong points. We excel in finding the right surrogates with the right intended families. A comprehensive questionnaire and interview process is only the beginning aspects of this process.

We screen both intended parents and surrogates to find out about their personalities, beliefs and ethics. This is just one way we make sure a perfect match is made.

Second, we are here for both the surrogates and intended parents through the entire journey. Whether emotional or physical support is needed, we are always available.

Third, we refer you to the best professionals in the business including top notch attorneys and psychologist They know how to cross their “Ts” and dot their “Is” when it comes to the psychological evaluation and the legal agreement.We want to make sure both the intended parents and the surrogate are comfortable with the documents, contracts and paperwork.

Ready to get started on the journey through surrogacy? Shared Conception is your best place to start.

Surrogates and health insurance

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Surrogates and health insurance

Shared Conception welcomes surrogates who both have and do not have health insurance. For those women who do have health insurance, we will happily look over your health insurance policy to see if there are any exceptions for being a surrogate. If there are no exceptions, and if the surrogate is willing, then we will use her own health insurance policy for the prenatal, labor and delivery portions of the pregnancy.

As always, the intended parents pay for all medical bills for the surrogate. This includes all co-pays, deductibles and other health-care related expenses.

If a surrogate does not have health insurance, then Shared Conception can help locate an outstanding health insurance policy for the surrogate. The intended parents will pay for the health insurance policy during the term of the pregnancy.

Have a specific health insurance related question? We can help answer it.

 

Guest Blog! Independent vs. Agency

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By Carmela Cancino

One of the first questions that a potential surrogate must answer is whether or not she will be working with an agency to find her match. I started my surrogacy journey with an agency that, in my opinion, threw up too many red flags and tried to take advantage of me. After making an extremely hard decision, I decided to walk away from my match and my agency, having learned a hard lesson. An agency can be your best friend, but only if you pick the right one.

Incidentally, I ended up going “indy” or searching for and matching on my own for my surrogacy. I was fortunate enough to meet a sweet couple and our journey went about as smoothly as one could. That’s not to say that all independent journeys are so. Agency or not, if the right steps are not taken and the time to get to really know one another and talk through important issues isn’t spent, things can still go awry. However, there are some advantages to having a good agency on your side.

For any person considering surrogacy, I would recommend several hours of research and the asking of many questions. Your contact at an agency can help guide you and walk you through these steps and take you through different scenarios that you may not have thought about on your own. It’s my opinion that you should always, always, always have psychological and background checks for all parties (potential surrogates and intended parents or “IPs”) and some of those questions will be discussed in the screenings. However, an agency can help pinpoint specific areas which will make or break a good match. Concrete things like compensation amounts, home or hospital birth and termination are significant items for discussion. These issues are not always so easy to discuss and either party may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed for bringing them up. It is imperative that they be discussed and that everyone is on the same page and the agency representative can help bring those items to the table so that both parties feel comfortable about discussing them.

Agencies also assist with the matching process and can help fine tune your search. I’ve searched through ad after ad and spent time responding and then feeling badly when I didn’t feel like it was a match. I’ve also spent days emailing with someone only to have them drop off the face of the Earth. It can be a bit frustrating when you are so eager to help someone only to get discouraged before you ever really get started. Usually agencies have a pool of would-be surrogates and IPs that are serious and waiting to get started. There are never any guarantees that nothing will go wrong, but I feel like the risk is greatly diminished with the use of an agency as the screening process seems to weed out some less than desirable candidates (on both sides).

Lastly, an agency can be your go-to source for the questions that pop up at 2AM (although I usually write them down and wait to call or email in the morning) and a great support system. There were many times during my journey where I didn’t know how to proceed and if I should “worry” the parents with things. Having someone to bounce those things off of would’ve been a wonderful resource (although I was fortunate enough to have a group of surrogates that knew almost all the answers to any of my questions)!

In short, an agency can prove to be a valuable asset that can streamline and help fortify the foundation for a good journey.

The delivery!

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As a surrogate, when the time comes to deliver the baby, there are so many emotions racing. We want to be sure everything is ready and in place well before the actual delivery day. There will be a cute bundle of joy (or two!) that will take center stage, of course.

For the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, the IVF clinic will continue to monitor your progress. Then, the surrogate will be released to the OB/GYN of her choosing. Many times this is the doctor she has used for her previous children’s births and delivery. If there are multiple babies, many times the surrogates will be asked to come to the doctor’s office for more frequent visits to ensure the health of the babies and the surrogate.

After the birth, the baby is handed to the intended parents first. It’s nice, too, if the intended parents ask the surrogate if she wants to hold the baby. Some surrogates decide they don’t want to but most relish the moment.

Then, once the baby is released by the pediatrician, the intended family will leave the hospital with their chid. The surrogate will leave the hospital with her family, and the wonderful feeling of helping a couple become a family.

Do you have questions about being a surrogate or the process on delivery day? Shared Conception would love to answer any questions you may have.

How to pick a surrogacy agency

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If you’ve thought it over, researched the topic and are ready to head down the road of surrogacy, your first thought might be, “How do I pick a surrogate agency?” Here are a few suggestions.

1. Do your research. Research on the Internet different agencies in your area. Although there are hundreds of agencies in the nation, many surrogates feel they like to use an agency close by. The geographical distance can be an issue when you’re paired with intended parents. Finding a fit that you’re comfortable with in terms of distance, is a good place to start.

2. Make a list. If you’ve never been a surrogate before, then you’re going to have questions. Chances are if you have been a surrogate before, you’ll still have questions! Make a list of your questions or topics you’d like answered.

3. Call and set up an interview. Call your top two or three surrogacy agencies and ask to speak with someone in charge. Ask if you can come in and set up a time to talk about becoming a surrogate. Be sure to bring your list of questions when you go.

4. Trust your gut. After meeting with a few agencies, go with what feels right to you. You will be working closely with the agency as you travel the journey of your pregnancy. You will want to feel comfortable, open and at ease at the agency. Pick the agency that best fits with you.

Have a question? Let us help! We are surrogate experts.

 

Embryo Transfer Process for Surrogates

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There are several different aspects to the embryo transfer process. Many times, surrogates will take oral contraceptives in order to sync the timing of her menstruation cycle to the same time as the intended mother’s cycle. This aids in making the transfer of eggs and embryos more uniform and easy.

During the actual transfer, a catheter is inserted into the surrogate’s vagina then uterus. The embryos will be placed through the catheter and into the uterus for implantation.

The surrogate will be asked to stay on bed rest for two to three days after the transfer.

Ten to fourteen days after the embryo transfer process, the surrogate will take a pregnancy test at the clinic. During the first 12 weeks, the surrogate will take several blood tests and ultrasounds to keep track of the progress. Both the intended parents and the surrogate will be involved and kept up-to-date on the progress of the pregnancy.

Although each IVF clinic is different, many of these steps remain the same. Have specific questions about the process? Ask us at Shared Conception. We can help!

 

Guest Blog! The Wait…

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One of the hardest things to do in surrogacy is wait.  This goes for all parties:  the IPs, the surrogate, the egg donor, the agency coordinator, etc.  It’s so hard to wait when something so amazing is almost in your grasp; you just have to put the final pieces of the puzzle into place.  Waiting is also one of the most important things in surrogacy.  Imagine rushing into any other type of commitment and the consequences it can have.  You might meet a lovely couple or a lovely woman wanting to be a surrogate and think, “this is it!  Let’s get this show on the road!” but there are so many important factors to consider.

The BIG questions have to be discussed before you ever move forward.  How many embryos will we transfer?  Are we open to reduction/termination?  What will our fees be?  What type of birthing situation would we like?  A good agency can and should help you to dicuss these items and may even do some of this screening before you even meet in person.  It may seem a little odd to talk about so many intimate details right off the bat, but it’s important to be sure everyone is on the same page.  

One of the things I’ve seen so many people do is compromise their true desires and end up disappointed or in a position they did not want to be in.  The effects of this decision can run the range from casting a shadow of awkwardness over the journey to ending up with procedures you agreed to, on paper, but never thought you’d have to actually go through with.  True matching should go over the seemingly trivial details and the hard, heavy items ad naseum so that no one has regrets later down the line.  People tend to get caught up in the emotion of the process and think, “This is almost what I want so those few things won’t matter.”  Trust me, they matter.  They matter a lot.  So, slow down, think it through, stick to what you originally want for your journey..  You might have to wait a little longer, but the wait is worth it. Not much is finite and predictable in surrogacy (or life!) but the more solid foundation you lay, the better the process will be.  Trying to shove pieces together that don’t fit never works out well.  Practicing patience to find that perfect match is one of the smartest decisions anyone involved in surrogacy can make.

By Carmela Cancino

How to explain surrogacy to your children

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To become a surrogate, women must meet certain criteria. One of those is they must have already had a pregnancy and live birth. This means the surrogate already has children.

So when the woman becomes pregnant as a surrogate, her children might have questions. Her friends and neighbors might have questions. People might ask questions to her children. It’s best to come up with a plan before a comment is made that might confuse your children.

Here are some suggestions. For most kids, honesty is the best policy. Telling your children the truth, in terms they can understand, might be the best for them now and down the road. Consider taking your older children aside and explaining to them that you are helping a couple become a family. Tell them, in simple words, that your body is helping grow a baby for a soon-to-be mother and father. Keep to the truth and the facts, but keep it simple, too.

It’s important to explain to them, however you feel comfortable, that they will not be “getting” a brother or sister. The baby growing in your belly is for another couple, not your own family.

Another suggestion is to head to the library. There are lots of books about surrogacy aimed toward children in all different reading levels. Be sure and scan through the books before sharing them with your children so they are on par with your beliefs and ideals, too.