Who are intended parents?

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There is not one, common denominator that stretches across all intended parents. Like most things, each intended parent, couple and situation is unique and different.
However, at Shared Conception we get asked sometimes, “Who are the intended parents? Who comes looking for a surrogate?”

There are a few categories intended parents sometimes fall into. First, there are couples who have had problems getting pregnant on their own. Whether because of past medical problems, or not being able to carry a baby to full term, some women’s bodies can not produce a baby.

Other women who come to Shared Conception have had medical issues such as having her uterus removed or not being born with a uterus. These women look toward surrogates to fulfill their wishes of having a biological baby.

Some couples try IVF treatments without success. This can sometimes be a costly and highly emotional avenue to take in order to have a baby. If successful treatments are not met, these types of intended parents also look toward surrogates to help.

Some intended parents are also homosexual couples who cannot conceive of child.

Whatever the case, Shared Conception is ready to help intended parents become families. Ready to find out more? We’re here to help.

The delivery!

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As a surrogate, when the time comes to deliver the baby, there are so many emotions racing. We want to be sure everything is ready and in place well before the actual delivery day. There will be a cute bundle of joy (or two!) that will take center stage, of course.

For the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, the IVF clinic will continue to monitor your progress. Then, the surrogate will be released to the OB/GYN of her choosing. Many times this is the doctor she has used for her previous children’s births and delivery. If there are multiple babies, many times the surrogates will be asked to come to the doctor’s office for more frequent visits to ensure the health of the babies and the surrogate.

After the birth, the baby is handed to the intended parents first. It’s nice, too, if the intended parents ask the surrogate if she wants to hold the baby. Some surrogates decide they don’t want to but most relish the moment.

Then, once the baby is released by the pediatrician, the intended family will leave the hospital with their chid. The surrogate will leave the hospital with her family, and the wonderful feeling of helping a couple become a family.

Do you have questions about being a surrogate or the process on delivery day? Shared Conception would love to answer any questions you may have.

How to pick a surrogacy agency

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If you’ve thought it over, researched the topic and are ready to head down the road of surrogacy, your first thought might be, “How do I pick a surrogate agency?” Here are a few suggestions.

1. Do your research. Research on the Internet different agencies in your area. Although there are hundreds of agencies in the nation, many surrogates feel they like to use an agency close by. The geographical distance can be an issue when you’re paired with intended parents. Finding a fit that you’re comfortable with in terms of distance, is a good place to start.

2. Make a list. If you’ve never been a surrogate before, then you’re going to have questions. Chances are if you have been a surrogate before, you’ll still have questions! Make a list of your questions or topics you’d like answered.

3. Call and set up an interview. Call your top two or three surrogacy agencies and ask to speak with someone in charge. Ask if you can come in and set up a time to talk about becoming a surrogate. Be sure to bring your list of questions when you go.

4. Trust your gut. After meeting with a few agencies, go with what feels right to you. You will be working closely with the agency as you travel the journey of your pregnancy. You will want to feel comfortable, open and at ease at the agency. Pick the agency that best fits with you.

Have a question? Let us help! We are surrogate experts.

 

Embryo Transfer Process for Surrogates

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There are several different aspects to the embryo transfer process. Many times, surrogates will take oral contraceptives in order to sync the timing of her menstruation cycle to the same time as the intended mother’s cycle. This aids in making the transfer of eggs and embryos more uniform and easy.

During the actual transfer, a catheter is inserted into the surrogate’s vagina then uterus. The embryos will be placed through the catheter and into the uterus for implantation.

The surrogate will be asked to stay on bed rest for two to three days after the transfer.

Ten to fourteen days after the embryo transfer process, the surrogate will take a pregnancy test at the clinic. During the first 12 weeks, the surrogate will take several blood tests and ultrasounds to keep track of the progress. Both the intended parents and the surrogate will be involved and kept up-to-date on the progress of the pregnancy.

Although each IVF clinic is different, many of these steps remain the same. Have specific questions about the process? Ask us at Shared Conception. We can help!

 

Guest Blog! The Wait…

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One of the hardest things to do in surrogacy is wait.  This goes for all parties:  the IPs, the surrogate, the egg donor, the agency coordinator, etc.  It’s so hard to wait when something so amazing is almost in your grasp; you just have to put the final pieces of the puzzle into place.  Waiting is also one of the most important things in surrogacy.  Imagine rushing into any other type of commitment and the consequences it can have.  You might meet a lovely couple or a lovely woman wanting to be a surrogate and think, “this is it!  Let’s get this show on the road!” but there are so many important factors to consider.

The BIG questions have to be discussed before you ever move forward.  How many embryos will we transfer?  Are we open to reduction/termination?  What will our fees be?  What type of birthing situation would we like?  A good agency can and should help you to dicuss these items and may even do some of this screening before you even meet in person.  It may seem a little odd to talk about so many intimate details right off the bat, but it’s important to be sure everyone is on the same page.  

One of the things I’ve seen so many people do is compromise their true desires and end up disappointed or in a position they did not want to be in.  The effects of this decision can run the range from casting a shadow of awkwardness over the journey to ending up with procedures you agreed to, on paper, but never thought you’d have to actually go through with.  True matching should go over the seemingly trivial details and the hard, heavy items ad naseum so that no one has regrets later down the line.  People tend to get caught up in the emotion of the process and think, “This is almost what I want so those few things won’t matter.”  Trust me, they matter.  They matter a lot.  So, slow down, think it through, stick to what you originally want for your journey..  You might have to wait a little longer, but the wait is worth it. Not much is finite and predictable in surrogacy (or life!) but the more solid foundation you lay, the better the process will be.  Trying to shove pieces together that don’t fit never works out well.  Practicing patience to find that perfect match is one of the smartest decisions anyone involved in surrogacy can make.

By Carmela Cancino