how to be a surrogate mother

Become a Surrogate!

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A lot of us are lucky enough to be able to think, discuss and waiver on having another little one added to our family. These days are chaotic, unpredictable and ever-changing. We can feel overwhelmed at times and the thought of another baby is bittersweet. Yet, there are many couples that cannot even think about having a baby, and simply because they can’t. We are not all blessed with fertility.

Infertility is on the rise. It’s more common than most people think. Today, about 1 in 6 couples wishing to conceive and sadly experience infertility. This then, leads many to the long road of fertility treatments. The use of assisted reproductive techniques is also increasing due to a greater need. Unfortunately, these treatments don’t work for everybody. And, more times than not, a woman does not get answers as to why she cannot conceive. This does not leave out the increasing numbers of male infertility issues either. There are so many people struggling to achieve a family – and that’s where we come in.

“We” are Shared Conception. A highly-rated surrogacy agency looking for strong, courageous and just plain wonderful women looking to help create a family. It takes a special woman to become a surrogate mother. Now, there are the physical, medical and emotional requirements. But, it requires someone with a big heart. Surrogate mothers are selfless, loving and overall amazing! They help others in times of need, love being pregnant and want to share one of the most precious moments of people’s lives.

Shared Conception works hard to simplify the surrogate process for all of our potential surrogates, from start to finish (and even after). We will walk you through what may seem like a complicated process and are with you every step of the way! If you are interested in making someone’s dreams come true, contact Shared Conception today! Or, visit our website and fill out a contact form and see if you prequalify. Visit www.deliveradream.com for more information.

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Nesting as a Surrogate

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Nesting is natural. Animals even do it. This ritual is ingrained in us! Nesting is when a pregnant woman prepares for her soon to arrive bundle of joy! However, you are most likely to reach for that feather duster rather than real feathers! As a surrogate, the big difference is that you are not preparing for an arrival, but rather a joyous departure. But the instinct is still there, and many of our surrogates have used it to their advantage. Nesting usually occurs in the middle to end of the third trimester and sometimes earlier. This instinct is just as powerful in humans as it is in animals.

This is a great time to clean out that pantry, reorganize your kitchen and finish some of those DIY projects you started. Stay productive and safe. Some activities that are satisfying and safe are: sweeping out the garage, finding matches for all those missing socks, or organizing your drawers and closets. Your partner may think you are insane, but just tell them to “go with it.” It is nice to get that burst of energy that you may have been longing for, and your family will benefit from it. Who doesn’t need some organization in their life?

Of course, every surrogate has a different journey and everyone’s body is different. There is nothing wrong, if the nesting urge doesn’t occur. Shared Conception encourages all surrogates to enjoy these moments as they all form the unique experience of helping create another family.

Shared Conception pledges to wholeheartedly support you throughout the pregnancy. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you!

 

 

Emotions after birth

Post Baby Emotions

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Here is a scenario, a surrogate mother has just delivered her surrogate baby. What is she going to do next? Is she going to Disneyland? Is she touring Napa Valley?  Chances are this woman will simply jump back into the routine of her life with her own family, while possibly experiencing post-partum mood swings.

Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, loves reading all the emails and letters about successful surrogate birth stories. However, some of these women can struggle after pregnancy. There is such thing as feeling sad after birth, whether it is your baby or a surrogate baby. Even when you are uplifted by your support group, some women can get depressed immediately after giving birth.

It’s nearly the same with any surrogacy arrangement; a surrogate dedicates approximately one year to help the intended mother experience something she can never personally fully experience. What happens after the birth?

Surrogate mothers, who candidly describe their emotions, usually speak of feeling completely elated one moment and devastated another moment; mainly because their participation in this amazing experience is over. In most cases, it is not the baby they miss – it is either:

  • the surrogacy itself
  • the intended parents
  • the “specialness” of being pregnant
  • the hormones

These emotions and reactions are usually considered to be completely normal; it’s just not openly discussed. Any potential surrogate should be aware that she isn’t the only surrogate mother who has ever cried when the baby left the hospital with his or her new parents, or when she said goodbye to her intended parents.

Whether it’s intended parents who have been trying to have a child of their own for years and who finally had to turn to surrogacy, or intended parents who came to surrogacy from the very beginning of their journey as a way to conceive – the end of the surrogacy is not considered to be an end at all. It is merely the beginning of their dreams.  As you enjoy and adjust to your new baby, remember your surrogate with a grateful heart and a gentle smile. If you can, stay in touch with your surrogate. She will ENJOY seeing sporadic or consistent pictures or maybe visiting – basically in whatever capacity you are comfortable with sharing your baby.

Shared Conception is compassionately here to help both the intended parents and the surrogate work through their emotions.  We want you to be informed, fulfilled and satisfied knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an application request form. We would love to hear from you!

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Happy Easter from Shared Conception!

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Many of our surrogates have promised themselves to eat as healthy as possible when they find out that they are pregnant. But cravings can take the wheel. And, when holidays such as upcoming Easter come around, we are constantly surrounded by candy and sweet treats. It’s everywhere this time of year. The chocolate covered treats in the stores are very tempting. I don’t know about you. but that Reese’s® peanut butter egg gets me every time! It’s not easy to resist when filling the children’s Easter baskets or seeing the large selection of baked goods at Easter Brunch. Being pregnant is not a free pass to consume every chocolate egg in sight! Be aware of too much sugar.

Gobbling down Cadbury Eggs®, Jelly Beans® (and other candy) will cause your blood sugar level to spike. Unless you are pre-disposed to gestational diabetes, you do not have to completely avoid sugary goods. It is okay to have sweet treats while pregnant, as long as it’s in moderation. That is the key. You don’t want to replace nutrient-dense foods or take in too many calories. Candy is nothing but empty calories and can cause excessive weight gain and possibly gestational diabetes.

While pregnant, many things can trigger cravings for sweets. Hormonal status and a growing baby are all factors that can contribute; depending on which trimester of pregnancy you are in.  Believe it or not, fatigue is a very common cause of these cravings. This is why it is important to reduce your load of responsibilities. Take the help offered to you, ask for help and nap. That pile of laundry can be folded later, the dishes in the sink can sit for a little longer and you can call someone in your support system to help so you can rest.

So, before you reach for that hollow chocolate bunny, fill up on those nutrient-dense foods. Shared Conception wishes you and your family a Happy Easter! If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call today or check out our website for more information at www.SharedConception.com! We would love to hear from you!

 

 

you can be a surrogate

You Can be a Surrogate!

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Surrogate, journey, intended parent, gestational carrier, IVF……there is a lot to learn when considering surrogacy. Not everyone is cut out for this job, but more women qualify than you may think. If you are thinking about becoming a surrogate, here are some common characteristics among our surrogates that you may be able to identify with.

You’re a mom.

One of the standard requirements to become a surrogate is that you have had at least one child of your own. If you have not. We cannot accept your application. This way, since you have already been through a pregnancy and delivery, you have realistic expectations. With that said, all of our surrogates are moms. Children unlock a large part of our heart, so giving this gift to another family is something any mom can appreciate the most.

You have a great support system.

A successful surrogacy has an established support system that surrounds you, the surrogate, with positive vibes, a helping hand, and a shoulder to lean on throughout the surrogacy. Whether this is your spouse, partner, friend or relative, this reliable point person and group of people has proven to be vital among all surrogacy journeys.

You are healthy.

When you apply to become a surrogate with Shared Conception, there are some initial medical qualifications to be met. One of the most important qualifications for a surrogate is a healthy lifestyle. Also, you (and spouse/partner) are required to pass a medical and psychological evaluation. This ensures a healthy process for both surrogate and baby.

You are a good communicator.

A great surrogate is open-minded and can go with the flow. Part of your job as a surrogate is to keep everyone “in the know.” It means a lot to your intended parents to supply them with updates about appointments, baby growth, how you are feeling and more!

You have a clean record.

You must not have any type of criminal record. Understandably so, you are going to be carrying someone else’s baby and a history of making good choices, makes you a good choice! Small infractions like speeding tickets won’t disqualify you from being a surrogate. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to Shared Conception.

Shared Conception pledges to wholeheartedly support you throughout the pregnancy. Our director will expertly act as a liaison between you and the intended parents. We will ensure that any sensitive or difficult subject matters are tactfully brought up and handled. We want you to be informed, fulfilled and satisfied knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit https://sharedconception.com/deliver-a-dream/ to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you

 

 

picking the right practice as a surrogate

Practice Picking

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It’s common for a surrogate to receive medical care by her chosen obstetrician once she is released by the fertility center.  This is typically after the first trimester. In most cases, the surrogate returns to the same doctor used when she carried her own children. This is really nice for a surrogate because she already knows and trusts this practice. And again, in most cases, the intended parents want the surrogate mother to be comfortable in her prenatal care.

But there are some cases when surrogates cannot use the practice previously used. Perhaps it is because of a recent move to a different state or area, or maybe their OB has retired. If this happens, how do you decide which doctor to see?

At the start of my second surrogacy, my husband lost his job which meant that we did not have health insurance. I was 28 weeks pregnant and I could not return to the OB practice I had used for my first surrogacy. While my gestational agreement covered new insurance, I had to choose another plan separate from my family, and this complicated things. While searching for the best plan for my family, I had to look and see what plans would cover myself, the baby, while being able to remain at my current practice; which ended up being impossible.

Luckily, it all worked out. The second practice was fine. Unfortunately, I found out that I had to deliver at a different hospital. I was not thrilled about this new change because I had been looking forward to delivering at this new, state-of-the-art hospital. My husband, an ever-positive ray of sunshine, kept telling me he would find a job and we would be covered and able to go back to my previous OB in time for my delivery. I thought that was a far stretch. Strangely enough, it ended up working out that way, which was great for my husband. Of course, but I was doing somersaults (in my head), to be back with my previous OB and delivering at the swanky new hospital!

Since I still had to go through the process of finding a new doctor, mid-journey, I have some tips for you to think about when you are looking for a new or different practice as a surrogate:

  • Experience with gestational carriers
  • Compliance to include the intended parents in the prenatal visits and delivery
  • How the doctor handles c-sections, as I had to have one and our previous doctor was known for how well she handled them
  • Location! I wanted to deliver near my house. Since I knew I was going to be in the hospital for at least 3 days, I wanted my two young sons to be able to visit their mommy!
  • I didn’t want to have to go to different places for ultrasounds or bloodwork. It’s nice to have everything was done in the same building.

I was lucky. Everything ended up working out and my “in between” practice turned out to be just fine. My intended parents let me choose where I was most comfortable and Shared Conceptions helped me with the ever-confusing insurance process. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give Shared Conception a call today! We would love to hear from you!

part 3 how to become a surrogate with shared conception

How to Become a Surrogate with Shared Conception

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Part 3 : Transfer, Pregnancy & Delivery

The Embryo Transfer

The IVF clinic will guide you with instructions about the embryo transfer process, all the medications needed, and their expectations of you. There are several aspects of the embryo transfer process.

  • You may be asked to take contraceptives, and possibly Lupron, to prepare you for the embryo transfer.
  • Multiple subcutaneous and intramuscular injections will be administered during the embryo transfer cycle until the end of the first trimester.
  • You will be asked to take estrogen and progesterone in the form of a patch, pill, suppository or injection.
  • During the embryo transfer, a small catheter is inserted into your vagina then uterus. The embryos will then be placed through the catheter and up into the uterus for anticipated implantation.
  • Be prepared for multiple blood tests and ultrasounds to monitor the progress of the cycle, as well as the first twelve weeks of pregnancy.
  • Many times, mandatory bed rest will occur for 1-3 days immediately following the embryo transfer. This varies based on which fertility clinic the intended parents are with.
  • Within 8 to 14 days following the embryo transfer, you will take a pregnancy test at the IVF clinic.

Pregnancy and Delivery

An In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) pregnancy requires different and earlier attention than your past pregnancies.

  • The IVF clinic will closely monitor you for approximately twelve weeks before releasing you to the obstetrician of your choice.
  • Know that there may be a possibility of multiples and if this occurs, you may be required to attend additional office visits, go on bed rest or just be more closely monitored.
  • As this pregnancy is shared with the intended parents, it is crucial to have ongoing communication with them about the developing fetus, your health status, etc.
  • The delivery of this baby is such a memorable time for everyone! In most cases the surrogate, along with her family, share this very exciting and rewarding moment with the intended parents. After delivery and the release of the baby (by its pediatrician), the intended parents leave the hospital as a complete family unit while the surrogate goes home to her own family, satisfied knowing she fulfilled the wishes of a couple or individual.

Shared Conception’s Pledge

Shared Conception pledges to wholeheartedly support you throughout the pregnancy. Our coordinators will expertly act as a liaison between you and the intended parents. We will ensure that any sensitive or difficult subject matters are tactfully brought up and handled. We want you to be informed, fulfilled and satisfied knowing you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit https://sharedconception.com/deliver-a-dream/ to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you!

 

 

 

 

how to become a surrogate

How long does it take to become a surrogate with Shared Conception?

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Part 1 – Application and Matching Process

Shared Conception works hard to simplify the surrogate process for all of our potential surrogates. Initially, it may seem complicated, but we will be with you every step of the way!  Here is a breakdown of the steps involved from start to finish in our 3 part “How to Become a Surrogate with Shared Conception” blog series!

The Surrogate Mother Process – Application and Evaluation

  • All of our surrogates begin by completing the Information Request form online, or calling Shared Conception (713-622-1144) to schedule an initial phone consultation. We will ask a few brief questions and then explain the surrogate process to you. This is also a good time to ask any questions. And we mean ANYTHING!
  • If we both decide to proceed, we will email you our application packet, which also requests a few pictures of yourself, so we can put a face to the name. The application will ask you about your medical history, psychological history and lifestyle. Complete the application thoroughly and honestly so that we can start the “getting to know you” process, thus matching you with the most appropriate intended parents.
  • If your application is reviewed and accepted, Shared Conception will contact you about your potential participation in Shared Conception’s Surrogacy Program. This is when the fun begins! We want to get to know you better including your preferences related to surrogacy and what your ideal match would be. We want you to have the opportunity to ask any and all questions you may have before you decide to join our program. If you are married, it is also helpful for your spouse to participate in these calls. His or her presence allows us to get to know you both; thus custom-matching you with the most appropriate intended parents.
  • If all goes well, and we are both on board, Shared Conception will present you with our Agency agreement which spells out both parties’ rights and responsibilities and gives us permission to present your profile to the best intended parents for you.
  • Next, we will start gathering medical records from your previous pregnancies. As this can take a while, it’s important that you provide us with your OBGYN and hospital info as soon as possible.
  • If you have medical insurance, we will ask that you send your insurance benefits information to us. The goal is to see if your health insurance policy has any surrogacy exclusions relating to pregnancy. Once you’re matched, we’ll have an insurance specialist review this as well. If you do not have insurance, we will assist you in finding a policy. The intended parents will be responsible for the premiums relating to this insurance policy.
  • While your insurance and medical records are being gathered, Shared Conception will simultaneously conduct a thorough criminal background check.

The Matching Process

Shared Conception’s objective is that the surrogate and intended parents interact in an extraordinarily comfortable environment and that both parties build a good rapport and partnership. With that said, we strive to pinpoint your core beliefs and innate desires that are in-line with the intended parents, so that you are mentally comfortable throughout the pregnancy.
Once Shared Conception accepts you into our surrogate mother program, we will expertly determine which couples to present to you based upon the criteria you expressed to us during the screening process and the preferences the couples have shared with us. This timeline could either be quick or it could take some time, as we are looking for someone whose needs, expectations and views are similar to yours.
If you are comfortable with the intended parents we present to you, we will immediately contact them and coordinate a three-way phone conversation between the intended parents, Surrogate and a member of the Shared Conception team. If all parties agree to move forward, then the next step is to arrange a face-to-face meeting (if logistically possible) so everyone can discuss the partnership and expectations.

Psychological Screening and Evaluation

Once this match meeting is successfully completed and all parties agree to work together, you and your husband or partner (if applicable) will be psychologically tested and evaluated by a licensed mental health professional experienced in fertility counseling. This step is recommended by The American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and will ensure that you are well informed of the risks involved in a gestational arrangement, as well as the psychological, physical and mental aspects of the surrogacy process. All psychological screening and evaluation fees are paid for by the intended parents.

Stay tuned for part 2 and three of our “How to Become a Surrogate with Shared Conception” blog series. If you don’t want to wait and are interested in becoming a surrogate today, give us a call! You can also visit us online at: https://sharedconception.com/deliver-a-dream/to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you!

 

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The Taboo Subject: Compensation

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Money is rarely the driving reason behind becoming a surrogate. All of our surrogates love the idea of helping a family, enjoy being pregnant and feel that this journey is more of a calling. But that doesn’t mean compensation is not deserved for the intense labor (no pun intended) that is involved. Surrogacy is a full-time, 24/7 job. Between the matching process, medical appointments, pre-transfer preparation and transfer, this process can take 12-18 months! So yes, you do deserve compensation for the service that you provide.

With that said, how is compensation disbursed? Our clients at Shared Conception, use a surrogacy escrow agency. This agency, along with your contract, is your direct line to all your financial questions. And, most importantly, it prevents any awkward conversations about finances between you and your Intended Parents.

With the help of a surrogacy escrow agency, here are the top 3 most common versions of compensation schedules. It varies by attorney, so these are just examples:

  1. Compensation begins on the 1stor 15thof the month following a heartbeat confirmation, and on the same date each month after, usually 8 or 9 installments.

 

  1. Compensation starts with confirmation of a heartbeat and the same day of the month thereafter. Dividing the agreed upon compensation “salary” into 8-10 installments. This version will end with a large payment at the end if it’s 10 installments.

 

  1. Compensation starts with heartbeat confirmation, and every 4 weeks thereafter. This one is usually divided into 10 installments.

Prorated compensation usually doesn’t come into play unless there is a premature delivery, and this varies greatly by contract. For example, if they deliver prior to the week listed (say 32 for a singleton), contracts usually pay a prorated daily amount thru delivery. If compensation is received the 1st, delivered the 12th, then a daily rate is disbursed for those 11 days.

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call for a no pressure, informative chat! We would love to hear from you!

 

Escrow

Surrogacy Escrow Service

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Your surrogacy contract includes using an escrow agency. This service allows a third party (the escrow agency) to hold and dispense funds during the surrogacy process. This can continue up to six months after birth. The escrow agency acts on behalf of the intended parents to ensure that the surrogate is being paid accurately and on time.

 

As you may know, a lot of paperwork is involved throughout the entire surrogacy process, and it doesn’t stop with an escrow agency. Intended parents will most likely, fill out the bulk of the paperwork and the surrogate provides banking information in order for payment to be directly deposited into her account. The surrogate is responsible for keeping any related receipts and filling out disbursement requests, so she can be reimbursed for things such as: medical visits, co-pays, housekeeping, lost wages, etc. Be sure to check your contract to know what can be reimbursed.

 

There are a number of benefits in using an escrow agency. Escrow agencies protect intended parents and surrogates. Having an escrow guarantees that the surrogate gets paid on time and with the appropriate amount.  Escrow accounts also guarantee that the intended parents have the means to cover the cost of the journey. It gives everyone peace of mind to know that their money is safe and being allocated on-time and appropriately. And it prevents any awkward conversation about money or finances between the surrogate and intended parents.

 

Shared Conception chooses to work with escrow agencies for the benefit of all parties involved in this process. We believe that it ensures a smooth journey for everyone. Whether you are looking into using a surrogate or becoming one, give us a call today for a free consultation. We are always willing to answer any of your questions!