HowDoesaGestationalCarrierChooseHerObstetrician

Your Own OB

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One of the most common questions when inquiring about becoming a surrogate is, “Can I use my own Obstetrician?” The short answer is, yes. Initially, you’re in the care of the fertility doctor who did the IVF transfer. They like to watch over you for majority of the first trimester to make sure that the pregnancy is progressing nicely. Once you’re released from the fertility clinic, you can be cared for by your own obstetrician. This is a breath of fresh air for a surrogate. She is now in safe and familiar hands; many times hands that have delivered her own children. The fertility clinics have amazing doctors, but it’s like sleeping in a hotel.  You have a great time on vacation but there is nothing like getting back into your own bed!

This is why it is important to have a plan. In some cases, the clinics are farther away than your own obstetrician – so when you are ready to go to your own OB, an office close to home becomes more practical; especially at the end of your journey when you have to attend weekly appointments. And, if you cannot go to your previous, familiar and safe OB, find one! There are so many ways to go about this. One of the best methods to find a good doctor is referrals. Ask around or jump on to the very resourceful internet to find those local mom groups and neighborhood mom pages, and ask for a recommended doctor.

Whatever you decide to do, plan in advance. You avoid unnecessary stress when you have a plan. If you are a surrogate with Shared Conception, our full-service agency is with you every step of the way and can help you find a good OB if needed. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call today!

 

 

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The Day Before IVF

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This is not an article about all the medications you take before IVF as a surrogate, or the doctor visits before IVF. This is about you and how you feel the day before the IVF procedure. On a personal note, I remember my first day before IVF, as I have had 2 wonderful journeys. I thought to myself, “Am I really doing this?”

Going through the entire process of becoming a surrogate is wonderful. You help create a family and give your intended parents the most wonderful gift anyone can receive. But, that doesn’t mean you will never be nervous about it. I wasn’t worried about becoming attached to the baby or having trouble leaving the hospital without one. I was just nervous about IVF. I thought to myself, what if it doesn’t work? What if something goes wrong? And my biggest fear was miscarrying. Because of my wonderful relationship with my IPs, I knew all about the heartache they endured when told they could not have children. I felt a huge weight on my shoulders.

But the truth is, you are doing the best you can for them. You do not have control over the embryo or even the outcome of the IVF process. And of course, we all want the best result; a pregnancy, a healthy journey, a healthy baby – and lots of happy tears. It’s all we can hope for because a pregnancy is never guaranteed. My advice to my surro sisters is to go in with a positive attitude, and try to keep one along the way. It’s called a “journey” because there are any bumps in the road but the end result makes it all worthwhile!

Written by Courtney Clinton – 2X Proud Gestational Surrogate

 

 

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The Taboo Subject: Compensation

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Money is rarely the driving reason behind becoming a surrogate. All of our surrogates love the idea of helping a family, enjoy being pregnant and feel that this journey is more of a calling. But that doesn’t mean compensation is not deserved for the intense labor (no pun intended) that is involved. Surrogacy is a full-time, 24/7 job. Between the matching process, medical appointments, pre-transfer preparation and transfer, this process can take 12-18 months! So yes, you do deserve compensation for the service that you provide.

With that said, how is compensation disbursed? Our clients at Shared Conception, use a surrogacy escrow agency. This agency, along with your contract, is your direct line to all your financial questions. And, most importantly, it prevents any awkward conversations about finances between you and your Intended Parents.

With the help of a surrogacy escrow agency, here are the top 3 most common versions of compensation schedules. It varies by attorney, so these are just examples:

  1. Compensation begins on the 1stor 15thof the month following a heartbeat confirmation, and on the same date each month after, usually 8 or 9 installments.

 

  1. Compensation starts with confirmation of a heartbeat and the same day of the month thereafter. Dividing the agreed upon compensation “salary” into 8-10 installments. This version will end with a large payment at the end if it’s 10 installments.

 

  1. Compensation starts with heartbeat confirmation, and every 4 weeks thereafter. This one is usually divided into 10 installments.

Prorated compensation usually doesn’t come into play unless there is a premature delivery, and this varies greatly by contract. For example, if they deliver prior to the week listed (say 32 for a singleton), contracts usually pay a prorated daily amount thru delivery. If compensation is received the 1st, delivered the 12th, then a daily rate is disbursed for those 11 days.

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call for a no pressure, informative chat! We would love to hear from you!

 

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Surviving the Summer Fashionably

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It is in your contract for maternity clothes stipend between your 12th and 15th week. Finding maternity clothes that actually fit and flatter can be challenging for many moms-to-be. But with comfortably fitting maternity clothing, you’ll look—and feel—your best as you go through each trimester. Below are some suggestions to consider before going on your maternity shopping spree. 

Choose lightweight summer maternity clothes.

• Show off your precious baby bump. 
• Pick your footwear carefully! Try to choose supportive footwear.
• Go for a dip with maternity swimwear. Even show your blossoming belly! *Always wear sunscreen. 
• Replace your jeans with jean shorts. Same purpose, just cooler.
• Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize! Adding a necklace or cute pair of earrings can make all the difference!
• Keep your hair off your face. There is nothing more annoying than being uncomfortable with hair tickling your face. 
• Layer up your summer maternity clothes smartly. It’s hot outside, cold in the grocery store, hot in the car, etc. Layer up to maintain optimal comfort. 

If you can’t commit to a whole new wardobe, clothing rental services are a great way to go through each trimester…fashionably! Rent the Runway has a great variety of maternity clothes available to rent and even a subscription service, giving you access to many different sizes and styles of designer brands. There is a standard subscription and an unlimited subscription option that gives you four new pieces a month, but the difference with unlimited is the ability to swap out pieces whenever you like and keep them for as long as you want.

Below are some of our favorite, reasonably priced sites that our surrogates have suggested to us.

https://www.pinkblushmaternity.com

https://us.asos.com/women/maternity/cat/?cid=5813

https://www.zulily.com

Shared Conception is committed to our surrogates and intended parents throughout their entire journey! Interested in becoming a surrogate, or just want to get more information? Give us a call today! 

Escrow

Surrogacy Escrow Service

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Your surrogacy contract includes using an escrow agency. This service allows a third party (the escrow agency) to hold and dispense funds during the surrogacy process. This can continue up to six months after birth. The escrow agency acts on behalf of the intended parents to ensure that the surrogate is being paid accurately and on time.

 

As you may know, a lot of paperwork is involved throughout the entire surrogacy process, and it doesn’t stop with an escrow agency. Intended parents will most likely, fill out the bulk of the paperwork and the surrogate provides banking information in order for payment to be directly deposited into her account. The surrogate is responsible for keeping any related receipts and filling out disbursement requests, so she can be reimbursed for things such as: medical visits, co-pays, housekeeping, lost wages, etc. Be sure to check your contract to know what can be reimbursed.

 

There are a number of benefits in using an escrow agency. Escrow agencies protect intended parents and surrogates. Having an escrow guarantees that the surrogate gets paid on time and with the appropriate amount.  Escrow accounts also guarantee that the intended parents have the means to cover the cost of the journey. It gives everyone peace of mind to know that their money is safe and being allocated on-time and appropriately. And it prevents any awkward conversation about money or finances between the surrogate and intended parents.

 

Shared Conception chooses to work with escrow agencies for the benefit of all parties involved in this process. We believe that it ensures a smooth journey for everyone. Whether you are looking into using a surrogate or becoming one, give us a call today for a free consultation. We are always willing to answer any of your questions!

 

 

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The Truth Behind Pickles and Ice Cream

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Not many pregnancy conversations leave out the topic of cravings and how crazy they can become. Needless to say, when you are pregnant, you learn the truth behind pickles and ice cream.

Your regular, everyday cravings will stick with you throughout pregnancy. They may even intensify. Then, there are the bizarre cravings that you may not even think of with a non-pregnancy brain. Cravings begin in the first trimester and tend to peak in the second. They are unpredictable and may not ever be able to be explained.

Hormone shifts are a large part of the explanation for cravings. Since everything in your body is changing, your taste buds will too. A heightened sense of smell and taste can open your mind to a whole new world of cravings or aversions. So even odors can become more enticing or more unpleasant. There are many theories about what causes cravings in pregnancy, but we still don’t know for sure.

Make sure your cravings do not replace nutrient dense foods. Even if broccoli, dark leafy greens, blueberries or oranges are not on your “must have” list, make sure you incorporate them and other nutrient dense foods into your diet because you and the baby really need it. You don’t want to gain more weight than necessary or develop other problems such as gestational diabetes.

Simple substitutions with healthy alternatives can satisfy a pregnancy craving.  It is important to understand where your cravings are stemming from. Be sure to talk to your doctor about your strong cravings so they can suggest healthy alternatives.

Shared Conception is with you every step of the way through your surrogacy journey. Give us a call today, we would love to chat with you!

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Surrogacy Journey and Communication

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A lot of our intended parents have asked us how to get to know the woman who is carrying their baby. All of our intended parents are so incredibly appreciative, that it is hard to pinpoint one specific way to accomplish this. Part of the special services that Shared Conception provides on top of an excellent match, is a favorites list. This list allows you to see her likes, interests, hobbies and even dislikes. But we strongly suggest that you take the time to get to know your surrogate, and even her family. You will get a wonderful understanding of her.

 

The beginning of a relationship between intended parents and surrogates is almost like dating. You already have a common bond; you share a special place in each other’s hearts and want to pursue a great future relationship. We suggest going to lunch, and if that seems too overwhelming, start with meeting at a coffee shop. Getting to know each other can make for an incredibly exciting and smooth journey.

 

The goal is communication. You want stellar communication. This will help your surrogacy relationship, the same way that it helps with any other relationship. Texting “how are you” every so often and a quick catch-up conversation, will build confidence in your relationship with each other. Today, we have technology at our fingertips and find ourselves always in reach of a text, FaceTime, Skype call or email. Devote some time each week to get to know each other and form a bond that will last a lifetime.

 

Shared Conception is committed to designing relationships between our intended parents and surrogates. We have a carefully crafted matching process that can match you with the perfect surrogate, or intended parent. Call us today!

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The Great Balance

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During our get togethers with the surrogates in our agency, many of the conversations between surrogates are about the balancing act of family life while pregnant. Most, if not all our surrogates, love being pregnant, which is part of the reason many embark on this journey. Many have young children of their own. Being pregnant while having little ones is not an easy task.

It’s a balancing act. You need to take care of yourself and your family. Everyone needs attention, usually at the same time and all at once. Here are some ways to stay sane while you are managing a pregnancy and a household.

Communication. Talk with your family members including your children! Opening the lines of communication and making everyone around you aware of your feelings, will help everyone throughout your entire journey.

Make special time with your children. All children need attention from their parents, no matter how old they are. Make time for them. Playing a game, reading a book together or having a simple conversation with eye contact, can do wonders for them.

Use your support system. If you need to, use your loved ones to watch one child while you give another one some special, individualized attention. Or have them watch the kids during some of your many doctors’ appointments or even help around the house. Our team at Shared Conception, strongly suggests to our potential surrogates, the importance of establishing a stellar support system throughout their pregnancy journey.

A pregnancy is a pregnancy is a pregnancy. Although you are not carrying your biological baby, you are still the one who is pregnant. It’s not any different than if it was your own baby. Your body is still experiencing all the joys that are attached to pregnancy, which can make you extra tired and sometimes grumpy. So, take care of yourself – if you are tired and overwhelmed, ask for help.

Helping create a family is amazing. You are a warrior and you deserve to be pampered! Shared Conception is here to help you through your journey. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com and fill out our quick online form to see if you qualify to become one!

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Surrogate Partners

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Surrogate Spouses and Partners

  • Written by Courtney; two-time surrogate with Shared Conception

By now, you are probably familiar with the definition of a surrogate, the intended parents, the baby and all the doctors involved with the process. But what about your partner?

Throughout my two journeys, I couldn’t have done it without my husband. I admired him more each time. I remember back to our initial conversation. I made a case by doing my research, talking with Shiva from Shared Conception, and pitching it to him like one of the sales people that show up at our doorstep and speak really fast before you say “I’m not interested.” I held my breath for his answer. He smiled at the idea and said yes. You better believe that I had a laundry list, compiled by my research of what is expected of him, and asked him the question again. Another positive response.

I had similar pregnancies both times. Part of the reason I chose surrogacy was because I liked being pregnant. But, as with all 4 pregnancies, there were days when he had to come home after a long day of work and take care of what I couldn’t. Sometimes, it was a lot. We have two of our own and there were days that I was wiped out and he had to play both mommy and daddy. There was a lot on both of our plates. But we would always remind ourselves of how momentary it all was and how wonderful it was to help create a family. He reveled with each opportunity to come home a little early from work. When he couldn’t, I had my support system and he knew all bases were covered.

The first delivery (I had c-sections) he came in while the intended parents left the operating room, elated, with their bundle of joy and held my hand while the doctor stitched me up. That’s when I told him I wanted to give again. Although he thought I was crazy, he understood. The joy in the hospital on that day was overwhelming, and having the ability to give that gift was empowering for the both of us.

I share my story to explain to those interested in surrogacy to emphasize the importance of making sure your spouse or partner is completely onboard. You both need to be educated about the process. Also, it is equally essential for them to know their role in the journey.

If you have any questions about surrogacy or are interested in becoming a surrogate, visit www.SharedConception.com, we would love to hear from you!

 

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Your Belly and the Sun

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In Texas, we get a short Spring season that allows us to hit the beach and poolside as early as April. If you are pregnant, you have to consider protecting your precious cargo from the sun. We all know that overexposure to the sun’s UV rays can be damaging to anyone. Due to hormonal changes, your skin is more sensitive while you’re pregnant. You are prone to hives and heat rash. The shade can be your best defense aside from lathering on SPF over 30. Bring a beach umbrella, wear a wide-brimmed hat, and keep cool by staying hydrated.

 

The sun also causes concern beyond UV damage. Be careful not to overheat. This also involves staying hydrated. Avoid overheating by keeping water close by at all times and prevent heatstroke by staying indoors at the height of the day’s temperature.

 

Although vitamin D is necessary for a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby, the best source can be found in lots of different foods and supplements. If you prefer to get your vitamin D in the great outdoors, remember, a little sun will go a long way. ALWAYS talk to your doctor about any concerns you may have when it comes to your journey.

 

 

 

References: https://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-health/tanning-during-pregnancy/