Embryos

Surplus Embryos

Posted by Shiva Landry on with 0 Comment

When dealing with infertility, there are so many crucial decisions that have to be made. It is truly exhausting. Many parents who have struggled with infertility, find themselves with a surplus of embryos and struggle with the decision of what do with them.

When parents are going through fertility treatments, they usually want as many embryos as possible, in case it takes more than one try to get pregnant. It’s common to need to do more than one transfer; even to a surrogate.  Also, the parents might want extra embryos for a future sibling. So, what happens when their family is complete and they find themselves with a surplus of embryos?

This topic has become controversial and has even made headlines. We all remember the famous, or infamous California mom who implanted all eight of her embryos and delivered all eight babies because she couldn’t fathom disposing or donating any of her embryos. But not everyone is up to that challenge. So, what are the options?

Parents have the option of keeping the embryos in storage, disposing of them, donating to research or donating to an infertile couple. The latest research shows that many couples don’t know what to do and continue to pay storage fees year after year. Most parents feel a sense of responsibility for their embryos. They still count them as their children – their offspring; so donating them to research seems cold to them. Furthermore, donating to research can pose a problem due to current federal legislation.

Letting another infertile couple adopt their embryos would be a very sweet and unselfish act if the parents can live with the knowledge that their biological children are out there in the world somewhere.

In the meantime, storage facilities continue to host hundreds of thousands of embryos until parents make those difficult decisions.

There is no easy answer to this question and parents will have to come to their own conclusion.

Are you and your partner storing embryos and unable to carry on your own? Surrogacy is a great option. We can match you with the perfect candidate and will be with you throughout this incredible journey. If you are interested in locating a surrogate visit www.sharedconception.com and contact us! We would love to hear from you.

 

 

surrogacy and parents

Surrogacy Journey and Communication

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A lot of our intended parents have asked us how to get to know the woman who is carrying their baby. All of our intended parents are so incredibly appreciative, that it is hard to pinpoint one specific way to accomplish this. Part of the special services that Shared Conception provides on top of an excellent match, is a favorites list. This list allows you to see her likes, interests, hobbies and even dislikes. But we strongly suggest that you take the time to get to know your surrogate, and even her family. You will get a wonderful understanding of her.

 

The beginning of a relationship between intended parents and surrogates is almost like dating. You already have a common bond; you share a special place in each other’s hearts and want to pursue a great future relationship. We suggest going to lunch, and if that seems too overwhelming, start with meeting at a coffee shop. Getting to know each other can make for an incredibly exciting and smooth journey.

 

The goal is communication. You want stellar communication. This will help your surrogacy relationship, the same way that it helps with any other relationship. Texting “how are you” every so often and a quick catch-up conversation, will build confidence in your relationship with each other. Today, we have technology at our fingertips and find ourselves always in reach of a text, FaceTime, Skype call or email. Devote some time each week to get to know each other and form a bond that will last a lifetime.

 

Shared Conception is committed to designing relationships between our intended parents and surrogates. We have a carefully crafted matching process that can match you with the perfect surrogate, or intended parent. Call us today!

Guest Blog! Was it hard to give up the baby?

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babyWas it hard to give up the baby?

This is usually the first question people ask me when they’ve found out I’ve been a surrogate before. I delivered a baby girl for my Intended Parents in October of last year. After several months of delay, we transferred in February of 2010 and were pregnant on the first try. I remember telling the Intended Mother and friend, E, that the transfer worked and she cried and squealed with joy. I cried on the phone too; it was better than I’d ever imagined.

I was there when the Reproductive Endocrinologist showed us the two embryos we’d be transferring. Baby L’s very first portrait session. I saw the word “pregnant” pop up on a pregnancy test and ran around the house waving a stick I’d peed on yelling, “IT WORKED!!! Albert, it worked!!! They’re gonna have a baby!!!” I felt sick in the mornings, craved ice cream and watched my belly grow as that child took shape in my womb. I can understand why people question a surrogate’s attachment (or rather lack thereof) to a child they’ve helped bring into the world. I see where it’s hard to comprehend that you’re not giving this baby up, you’re giving it back. Though I care for Baby L and her parents, she was not ever mine. I do feel a sense of pride and joy at seeing her. Nine months of hanging out with someone makes them kind of grow on you. I have friends that commend me on what I’ve done but always assure me that they could never do it themselves. I don’t think they mean it in a bad way, but it does bring to the table the topic of what makes a surrogate do what they do.

For me, my motivation to help a family came when I read an article in a magazine about surrogacy. I cried reading the story of a couple that was able to have the family they’d longed for with the help of a surrogate. I’ve always been a fan of pregnancy and I own my love for maternity clothes. The moment you announce that you’re pregnant, you stop sucking in and people are nicer to you! Really though, I had thoroughly enjoyed my pregnancies and had extremely easy labor and deliveries. I also had a handful of friends that were trying to get pregnant and had months of disappointment and hurt beneath their belts. Standing by and not being able to fix it made me feel helpless. Knowing that I might be able to help someone like these couples gave me hope.

We met E&J and spent the next several months getting to know them and their families. The calls from E were spent listening and discussing her dreams and hopes. My heart was filled with longing for this to work. As Baby L grew, so did the joy in her parents’ hearts. The day of her birth cemented my reasons for pursuing surrogacy. The look of pure love on each of their faces as they held their daughter left me bathed in such a sense of accomplishment and happiness. Someone else was able to experience the love I felt when I held each of my own children.

In the next few days, I visited with friends and my own family. My children needed their mommy and I was able to return to them after a couple of days in the hospital. Leaving without a baby was not as weird as I thought it would be. Somehow, knowing that she had gone home with her family replaced any feelings of awkwardness that might have otherwise been there. Seeing her pictures with outfits her mother had been waiting months to put her in brought tears of joy to my eyes. Never once did I feel pangs of hurt that baby L was with her family. In truth, I wouldn’t have had time to dwell on it anyway as my own 3 children keep me very busy. It’s funny how quickly you can recover when you can sleep through the night immediately after delivery!

So what was it like to “give up the baby?”It was like placing the last piece of a puzzle into place before you stand back to admire the fruits of your labor (pardon the pun!) It was watching a family be created and one of the greatest days of my life aside from my own children being born and the day my husband agreed to put up with me for better or worse. It was, in short, pure bliss. I feel incredibly blessed to have been apart of it and am thankful to be apart of baby L’s life as she grows.

Surrogacy is such a beautiful thing.

 

By Carmela Cancino