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A Grateful Surrogate

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When I tell someone that I have been a surrogate not only once but twice, I often hear how lucky those “people” (Intended Parents) are to have someone like me in their life. I do not like to applaud myself.  I enjoyed every bit of the journey; even the injections in the first trimester. I thought that if I could inject myself with a needle, I could do anything.

As quoted by Joan of Arc, “I’m not afraid, I was born to do this.” This is a shirt I often wear, which was given to me by Shared Conception as my twenty-week gift. This phrase stuck with me because I actually felt as if I was born to be a surrogate; a feeling that I haven’t had with other life experiences.

My second son was born pretty unhealthy. He was fed by a feeding tube for the first few years of his life. We spent years trying to find a diagnosis; visiting doctor after doctor, hospital after hospital and enduring test after test. We still aren’t sure of his diagnoses, even at the age of 8, but he went through many different kinds of tests, doctors, therapies, equipment, hospital stays, etc. Those bills added up. But, I refused to leave his side. I was convinced that no one could take care of him as well as I would, and I didn’t want to miss a single minute of his day. One frustrating night, while adding up the pile of bills we clearly could not pay, I considered becoming a surrogate. This was after an intense online search for jobs from home.  Not one position was designed for me. Then I saw one for surrogacy. I did some research on it and mildly considered it.

I brushed it off….

A couple years later with my son on the mend, getting stronger and weaning off his feeding tube, we were still weighed down with medical debt. I couldn’t ask for more of a discount or extension – the hospitals knew me by my first name and I had memorized almost every account number I had with each medical facility.

At this point, I seriously looked into surrogacy. I had a lengthy conversation with my husband who immediately agreed (shows what kind of pregnant woman I am – very pleasant), and started my research which led me to Shared Conception.

I spoke with Shiva, founder and Director of Shared Conception and she gladly answered all my questions and informed me of the process. I started my paperwork with a little apprehension (as I said, I didn’t like the idea of injections). I was matched very quickly with a lovely couple and began my journey.

Now to add why I am thankful….

I am thankful to Shared Conception for being with me the whole way. Always available and helpful, I can’t think of a better way to go into this “unknown” world without them. Shiva and her team matched me with a beautiful couple, and held my hand throughout my wonderful journey. They provided me with the support I needed when I needed it.

I am also thankful for both of my intended parents in each journey. They too were a great support system and entrusted me with their most precious belonging. I gave birth to the most adorable and lovely little babies. They provided me with the ability to stay home with my son. Without my availability, he would not be where he is today. He is now a thriving 8-year-old who loves to build Legos, play with his brother and snuggle with his mom while watching America’s Funniest Home Videos.

If you are considering surrogacy, I would highly recommend Shared Conception. Give them a call today!

-Courtney Clinton

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Pregnancy Terms and Definitions for Surrogates

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There is so much to learn when you are a surrogate! It’s not like you this is your first pregnancy, since you are now a surrogate, you probably have had at least one or two successful and seamless pregnancies of your own under your belt! However, surrogacy introduces a whole new world of doctors, appointments and terms – at least in the beginning stages of the surrogacy process.

Below is a list of medical terms often used in conjunction with a surrogacy journey. It’s useful to have this handy to review or refer to, when beginning the process.

  1. Surrogate/Gestational Carrier: These terms are used interchangeably. However, if you are thinking about becoming a surrogate with Shared Conception, you’ll be considered a gestational surrogate. There is an additional term “traditional surrogate” which means the surrogate is both the egg donor and surrogate – which Shared Conception does not practice or facilitate.
  2. Gestational Surrogacy: Pregnancy where the surrogate is genetically and biologically unrelated to the baby. Embryos are created using the eggs from the intended mother or egg donor, and sperm from the intended father or sperm donor.
  3. Intended Parents: Person or persons who become the legal parent(s) of a child born through surrogacy.
  4. Cycle Schedule: A timeline for the surrogate that lists important local monitoring appointment dates leading up to the transfer. This is usually created by your IVF clinic.
  5. Matching: A wonderful process in which Shared Conception excels in. This is when a surrogate is paired with intended parent(s). Shared Conception matches surrogates with intended parents that are good matches based on legal requirements, personality compatibility, preferences and similar expectations.
  6. Surrogacy Contract: A legal contract between the surrogate and intended parents. The terms of the contract are negotiated by the parties through their legal representation. At no cost to the surrogate, Shared Conception provides you with a list of specialized lawyers to choose from, always with the option of using your own.  It is very important for both the intended parents and the surrogate to read the contract carefully so that all terms and conditions are clearly defined and well understood.
  7. Blastocyst or “Blast”: The last stage of development an embryo is required to reach before it is able to be implanted.
  8. In Vitro Fertilization (IVF): A medical procedure whereby an egg is fertilized by sperm in a test tube or elsewhere outside the body. The process is performed at an IVF clinic.
  9. Embryo Transfer: A process that occurs when a frozen embryo (an already fertilized and frozen egg) is thawed and transferred into a surrogate by a reproductive doctor.
  10. Beta Testing: A blood test used to help indicate whether a woman is pregnant 8-14 days after an embryo transfer.
  11. Pre-Birth Order: A court issued order that is acquired before the birth of the child and establishes the intended parents as the legal guardians of the baby carried by the gestational carrier or surrogate.

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate or the surrogate mother process, contact us! Give Shared Conception a call today. We will answer any questions from the surrogate application process to surrogate pay. We would love to chat with you. You can also click hereto read about the surrogate mother requirements to see if you could be a candidate.

 

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5 Fall Vegetables to add to your diet

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Fall is full of beautiful foliage, colors, smells – and food! This season introduces some delicious, nutritious and colorful vegetables to get excited about. Read on to learn how to take advantage of the seasonal fare and some recipes to go along with it!

  1. Spaghetti Squash: This bright yellow and bulbous vegetable adds calcium and fiber to your diet. It’s also a great substitute for pasta and found in most grocery stores and farmers’ markets. Click here for our favorite recipe for Parmesan Spaghetti Squash.
  2. Beets: Come in a variety of colors. Red, yellow, white and even multicolored. Whichever color you choose, it is a good source of iron and Vitamin C. Beets pop up on menus in the fall and can be prepared in many different ways. Here is a simple Roasted Beet Salad with Feta Cheese and Lemon Vinaigrette recipe that is delicious!
  3. Brussel Sprouts: This veggie is sometimes an acquired taste, but when prepared right, even children fall in love with them. They are full of fiber, vitamin C, iron and vitamin B6. Here is a recipe for Roasted Brussel Sprouts with Garlic that is sure to please!
  4. Pumpkin: …..and not just pumpkin spice! It’s part of the squash family and full of Vitamin C, iron and fiber. Also, the seeds can be roasted and are a good source of omega-3, and great for a snack on the go. Check out this receipt for Pumpkin soup; a wonderful and hearty soup.
  5. Sweet Potatoes: This versatile fall staple can be found in desserts and side dishes. It’s also a good source of vitamin C and B6. It can be baked, mashed, roasted or turned into fries. If you have an air fryer and a craving for french fries, sweet potato fries are a healthy alternative.

Shared Conception is a full-service surrogacy agency and proudly served hundreds of exceptional surrogates and intended parents alike. If you are interested in surrogacy, give us a call today. We would love to hear from you!

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The Pregnancy Struggle is Real!   

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Worry, anxiety, and even depression does not discriminate. Surrogacy is filled with happiness but hitting a rough patch during any pregnancy is not uncommon. Mostly because, life is life…it has its ups and downs, and it is mostly out of our control.

Calmness and a stress-free environment are essential to life at all times, especially when pregnancy, but it is not always easy. Many surrogates have turned to different homeopathic and natural methods to relieve stress and anxiety before, during and after their pregnancy journey. One popular method is meditation.

High and extended levels of stress can make you more likely to deliver at preterm or for the baby to have low birth weight. Benefits of meditation can not only prevent this from happening but promote a better night’s sleep, and we all know how important sleep is to a happy and healthy pregnancy. Pregnancy can cause insomnia and evokes a constant disruption at night because you have to use the bathroom multiple times a night. Studies have shown that meditation can improve sleep for pregnant woman.

Meditation can give you a wonderful connection to your changing body, relief from anxiety and stress, peace of mind, less tension, and a lower risk of postpartum depression. Depression affects one in five women during pregnancy with many turning to more natural methods to alleviate stress and anxiety associated with pregnancy.

Pregnancy is the ideal time to learn or restart a meditation practice because you’re effectively benefiting two people. There are many different ways to meditate, from deep breathing to focusing on an object, mantras, visualization, or chanting – find a way that works for you and thrive!

If you have a story to share about how meditation helped you in your journey, feel free to share in the comments below.

*** Please note that this is an informational article only. If you think you are suffering from depression, anxiety or any unusual feelings of unease, consult your doctor immediately.

 

 

 

 

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Pregnancy Falls

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Pregnancy definitely changes your body, but it also changes the way you move, get around and walk. Your center of gravity has to adjust, which can cause difficulty with every day movements.  

Knowing this, it’s no wonder that many pregnant women have experienced a fall during their journey, even though your body has several defenses to protect you and the baby against injury. This includes amniotic fluid that provides cushioning, and strong, protective muscles in the uterus.

Falls can create possible complications for both you and the baby. Your uterus probably won’t suffer any permanent damage or trauma from losing your balance and tripping over your own (sometimes unrecognizable) feet. However, if the fall is a rough one or hits at a certain angle, it’s possible you could experience complications such as a placental abruption or sprains that need to be checked out by your doctor.

Most of the time, a minor fall won’t be enough to cause a problem, but there are some symptoms that can indicate a need to seek medical attention. These include:

  • A fall with direct contact to your stomach
  • Leaking amniotic fluid or vaginal bleeding
  • Severe pain in your pelvis, stomach, or uterus
  • Any type of contractions
  • Lack of movement for the baby

If you experience these or other symptoms, immediately call your doctor or take a trip to the ER.

Shared Conception wants our surrogates to have a wonderful, safe and successful journey. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call today. We would love to hear from you!

 

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Your Own OB

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One of the most common questions when inquiring about becoming a surrogate is, “Can I use my own Obstetrician?” The short answer is, yes. Initially, you’re in the care of the fertility doctor who did the IVF transfer. They like to watch over you for majority of the first trimester to make sure that the pregnancy is progressing nicely. Once you’re released from the fertility clinic, you can be cared for by your own obstetrician. This is a breath of fresh air for a surrogate. She is now in safe and familiar hands; many times hands that have delivered her own children. The fertility clinics have amazing doctors, but it’s like sleeping in a hotel.  You have a great time on vacation but there is nothing like getting back into your own bed!

This is why it is important to have a plan. In some cases, the clinics are farther away than your own obstetrician – so when you are ready to go to your own OB, an office close to home becomes more practical; especially at the end of your journey when you have to attend weekly appointments. And, if you cannot go to your previous, familiar and safe OB, find one! There are so many ways to go about this. One of the best methods to find a good doctor is referrals. Ask around or jump on to the very resourceful internet to find those local mom groups and neighborhood mom pages, and ask for a recommended doctor.

Whatever you decide to do, plan in advance. You avoid unnecessary stress when you have a plan. If you are a surrogate with Shared Conception, our full-service agency is with you every step of the way and can help you find a good OB if needed. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call today!

 

 

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Building Self-Esteem in your Child

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It’s tough being a parent! We all strive to make our children become polite, kind, and honest individuals, but it’s not always easy. I have two young boys in elementary school and have noticed that I worry too much about what they don’t do rather than focusing on the good things they do. This doesn’t mean I don’t praise them when they do well. I am very proud of my two young men, but when it comes to this balance, I feel I have focused more on what they need to improve rather than the positive.

I have researched the topic of self-esteem endlessly this year. I have chatted with pediatricians, counselors and school teachers. Whether you have a teenager, toddler, or have just brought your baby home from the hospital, I think we can all take from this. Below are examples to build your child’s self-esteem.

 Don’t overpraise. There is such thing as a hollow praise. Overpraising can be damaging. Praise that doesn’t feel earned, doesn’t make your child feel better. For example, telling a child he or she did “so well” when they didn’t, will not ring true to them.

Praise effort. Avoid focusing on praising only when there’s positive results or just for their strong qualities (such as being athletic or smart).

 Be a positive role model. Your attitude and effort towards everyday tasks (like mowing the lawn, cooking, cleaning, etc.), sets an example. Your child learns to put effort and stay positive when doing their homework, cleaning up their room, or helping around the house.

 Ban negative criticism. The way we speak to our children effects how they feel about themselves. Harsh words (“You’re so lazy!”) can be harmful to their self-esteem. It can be challenging at times, but our kids need our patience.

 Focus on strengths. Pay attention to what your child does well and their interests. Make sure your child has an opportunity to focus on these strengths. Focus more on strengths than weaknesses to help kids feel good about themselves.

 Give your child responsibilities. Self-esteem grows when kids get to see that what they do really matters. Let them help out at home, volunteer, or do a favor for a sibling. Helping and kind acts build self-esteem and gives your kids a good feeling.

If you are struggling with fertility and want to talk to someone about finding a surrogate, call us today for a no pressure consultation. We would love to hear from you!

 

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Deciding on a Second Journey

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After my first journey, I knew immediately I wanted to have a second. And when I say immediately, I mean it!

I had to have a cesarean because of my previous labors. The time spent in the operating room with the Intended Parents was incredible. They sat behind me, and when the doctor raised their baby above the curtain for them to see – I will never forget the Intended Mom’s scream of joy and disbelief. It will remain in my memory forever.

My husband was allowed to come into the OR after the intended parents left with their precious bundle of joy, and, as he entered the room I said, “I am totally going to do this again.”

My doctor laughed and said, “you are not even sewn up yet!” but I knew I wanted to. I just had to convince the rest of the family; especially my children.

My two boys were ages 5 and 6 during my first journey. They weren’t really aware of what we were getting into. The first two trimesters were a breeze. When I started to get tired, especially at the end of the day, is when they were the most affected. I could barely stay awake for dinner, as if I had an off switch that turned “off” every night at 7 o’clock. At this point, they were still pretty young, so I was a large part of their night time routine. And when Mommy had to relinquish her night time routine duties solely to Dad, they were agitated.

I didn’t know this until we talked about a second journey, and I was shocked! So, we made a plan that kept everyone happy and assured about starting another journey. My husband let our children know and feel that we were all in this together. Respecting their feelings and taking their words into serious consideration gave my children not only the confidence that I could do this again, but that they could too.

I found that surrogacy made my family stronger, more understanding and compassionate. It was a wonderful experience for all of us. All I can say is, if you are interested in becoming a surrogate, I highly recommend it.

-written by Courtney Clinton, 2X Surrogate with Shared Conception

 

 

 

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The Day Before IVF

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This is not an article about all the medications you take before IVF as a surrogate, or the doctor visits before IVF. This is about you and how you feel the day before the IVF procedure. On a personal note, I remember my first day before IVF, as I have had 2 wonderful journeys. I thought to myself, “Am I really doing this?”

Going through the entire process of becoming a surrogate is wonderful. You help create a family and give your intended parents the most wonderful gift anyone can receive. But, that doesn’t mean you will never be nervous about it. I wasn’t worried about becoming attached to the baby or having trouble leaving the hospital without one. I was just nervous about IVF. I thought to myself, what if it doesn’t work? What if something goes wrong? And my biggest fear was miscarrying. Because of my wonderful relationship with my IPs, I knew all about the heartache they endured when told they could not have children. I felt a huge weight on my shoulders.

But the truth is, you are doing the best you can for them. You do not have control over the embryo or even the outcome of the IVF process. And of course, we all want the best result; a pregnancy, a healthy journey, a healthy baby – and lots of happy tears. It’s all we can hope for because a pregnancy is never guaranteed. My advice to my surro sisters is to go in with a positive attitude, and try to keep one along the way. It’s called a “journey” because there are any bumps in the road but the end result makes it all worthwhile!

Written by Courtney Clinton – 2X Proud Gestational Surrogate

 

 

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Pregnancy Pillows

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When you are far enough along in your pregnancy, you may discover some aches and pains. It comes with the territory. There are so many support and full body pregnancy pillows on the market. When you are shopping for one, where do you begin? Good news is that you have options and Amazon!

PharMeDoc Pregnancy Pillow – C-shaped style offers unparalleled support to relieve achy joints helping you to get a good night’s sleep. If you prefer a flat pillow at night, this pillow has been known to have a fluffiness that you may not need. You may want to refer to the Lavish Home pillow listed below.

Lavish home– At a very reasonable price, this full body support pillow offers comfort and support and has a 100% cotton cover that can be removed and washed. It is also not as stuffed as similar competitors if you prefer a flatter pillow.

Boppy– you may have one of these from your bio babes way back in the closet somewhere. Since this is a smaller pillow, it takes up less space so your partner doesn’t feel that there is another person in your bed at night. Because of its small size, you can use this to target your most needed areas for support.

Leachco– This is not a full body support pillow but is smaller and supports the belly and legs. Many prefer this pillow, because you can use your own head pillow with the Leacho.

Queen Rose– This is considered the crème de la crème of pregnancy pillows. It is large and takes up a lot of space but the support for the whole body is unparalleled. This pillow is also great for post-partum sleep while your body is re-adjusting to post pregnancy life.

Shared Conception wants nothing but the most comfortable and smooth journey for our surrogates. Give us a call today if you are interested in becoming a surrogate. We would love to hear from you!