holidays with surrogates

Surrogacy and The Upcoming Holidays

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holidays with surrogatesThe holidays can be stressful for anyone, but for surrogates, it can be a particularly busy and overwhelming time of year. Not only are they often taking care of their own family, but they are taking care of a growing baby for the intended parents. As the Intended Parents, you may be wondering how to handle the upcoming excitement of the season, the excitement of your soon-to-arrive baby, and how to make things a little easier for your surrogate.

Here are a few tips:

  1. Communicate to your surrogate if you want to share aspects of the upcoming holidays with her and her family. If the feeling is mutual, be sure to plan in advance to make it happen so that neither party has added stress.
  2. Send or give your surrogate a gift card to her family’s favorite restaurant so they can enjoy spending an evening together. At Christmas time, you may also decide to gift her children something small. One final gift option to consider is gifting her husband a gift card somewhere he may enjoy—after all, he is also a big part of the surrogacy process.
  3. Your surrogate will impact your life for years to come, so one way to commemorate this special moment is to add a sentimental ornament to your Christmas tree. You could also gift the surrogate and her family with a special ornament. If they celebrate Hanukkah, you could buy them a decorative dreidel. The gift doesn’t have to be holiday-themed; any gift from you would be a gift from the heart.
  4. If you opt-out of giving a gift card or having her family over for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas dinner, an alternative idea would be to bake her and her family their favorite dessert and personally deliver it to them.

Most importantly, be sure to let your surrogate and her family know how thankful you are for her decision to help you and your partner start a family of your own.

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

6 Topics to Cover in Surrogate Contracts

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If you are considering surrogacy, it is crucial to have a contract between yourself (the intended parents) and the surrogate. Even when both parties are agreeable, it’s a smart choice to have a contract so there are no misunderstandings about the expectations from both sides.

There are six areas that are essential to make the surrogacy journey as smooth as possible:

  • Outline state laws: Make sure there is an overview of the surrogacy laws in the state where the baby will be delivered. It also should include an overview of the laws of where the intended parents live; if the intended parents and surrogate live in different states.
  • Financial Obligations: This should outline how much the surrogate’s compensation will be and how often she is to be paid. In addition, it would list the escrow company’s name and spell out the terms of the escrow account.
  • Medical Decisions: With any pregnancy, there are risks. Intended parents and the surrogate should be on the same page regarding medical decisions relating to the baby, the number of embryos transferred, how many transfers will take place if they are unsuccessful and whether the intended parents will attend appointments and the birth.
  • Medical Bills: Some surrogates have health insurance that can be used to cover maternity costs. Other times intended parents purchase insurance for the surrogate. The contract should outline how these bills will be handled.
  • Time and Travel: The contract would say what restrictions the surrogate has when traveling when pregnant.
  • Privacy: The contract should outline how the HIPPA medical privacy act is briefed. It’s also a great idea to spell out the expectations of privacy and how much information both sides can share about the journey.

Every contract should be reviewed by an attorney well-versed in surrogacy laws to make sure, and everything is lined out according to your particular state laws.

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

Pre-birth Order and their Importance

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As intended parents, when a gestational surrogate is carrying and giving birth to your baby, one of the most critical steps in the surrogacy process is to ensure that you are legally recognized as the parents by the appropriate court or legal process.

Pre-birth Order or Post-birth Order

“Pre-birth order” refers to the court process necessary to recognize you as the child’s parents.

Some states require a post-birth order, but Texas is considered a surrogate-friendly state. Therefore, a pre-birth order may be granted and thereby validated so long as the gestational carrier agreement is found by a Texas Court to be in compliance with the statutory requirements of Texas surrogacy law. The statute only refers to married Intended Parents, so obtaining pre-birth parentage orders for unmarried Intended Parents is more complicated and should be discussed with a surrogacy attorney. It’s also important to note that a pre-birth order can be granted regardless of whether the intended parents have a genetic connection to the child.

Why is a “Prebirth Order” Important?

A pre-birth order is important in surrogate contracts. Most parents start this process after the first trimester of the pregnancy, but some do so once a positive pregnancy is produced or even before the surroga

te is even pregnant to ensure everything legal is put in place at the very beginning of the journey.

A pre-birth order ensures that the intended parents have legal rights to their child as soon as the baby is born.

Another importance of pre-birth orders is for insurance purposes. From the moment the baby is born, the intended parents are solely responsible for the child. Thus, being legally recognized as the parents ensures that the baby may be added to their insurance.

Prebirth orders also benefit the awaiting parents during the birth. Having legal custody of the child prior to birth means they will be treated as the parents in the delivery room. Your surrogate professional at Shared Conception can answer any questions you have about pre-birth orders and parental rights.

Interested in Surrogacy?

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

exercises while pregnant

Exercises You Can Do While Pregnant

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exercises while pregnantYou’ve begun the surrogacy journey, and if you enjoy working out, you may be wondering how that will still be possible. Continuing physical activity during your pregnancy is not only safe but healthy. Exercise can help prevent headaches, stress and depression, tiredness, pelvic pain, constipation, cramps, and swollen feet.

Workout Tips

If you were active and used to working out prior to being pregnant, you can continue what you’re doing; just consult with your doctor to make sure it isn’t too strenuous for pregnancy. If you are new to working out, start off slow. Walking is a great way to start and be active without being too stressful on your body. Other forms of exercise you can do during your first and second trimesters include yoga, light jogging, and weight training.

However, during your third trimester, you will have to start taking it a bit easier. Physical activities such as walking, gentle swimming, light cycling, and rowing are all great ways to continue working out without putting too much stress on your body or the baby.

Try to avoid exercises that involve sit-ups, stomach crunches, or contact sports.

Do’s and Don’ts

Be sure to keep yourself hydrated while working out. You should be drinking water before, during, and after your workouts.

Always listen to what your body is telling you. If anything feels uncomfortable, stop immediately. Be sure to let your body rest.

Take care of your feet! Wearing supportive shoes is important during your pregnancy. Wear clothes that allow for easy movement and allow your body to not get too hot.

Who should not exercise while pregnant?

While exercising while pregnant is safe for most women, there are some conditions where exercising is not a good idea. You shouldn’t exercise while pregnant with multiples or if you are experiencing other risk factors such as gestational hypertension or severe anemia. In some instances, your doctor may tell you that low-impact activities such as walking are still okay.

In the end, every pregnancy is different so again, consult with your doctor in advance to see what activities will and won’t be safe during your surrogacy journey.

Interested in Surrogacy?

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

surrogacy reveal

How to Announce Your Baby’s Birth Via Surrogacy

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surrogacy revealAnnouncing the birth of your baby is always an exciting moment. Typically, these announcements are made with pictures of the new baby with the stats such as weight, length, and time of birth. But how do you announce the birth of a baby born via surrogacy? Here are some tips.

Photoshoots are a popular choice to tell others about your surrogacy journey visually. These photoshoots can include the intended parents, with or without the surrogate. However, including the surrogate is a fun way to document the journey for your child.

Another tradition many soon-to-be parents partake in is the gender reveal party. This is still possible even when you’re having the baby with a surrogate. Inviting your surrogate to the party, will help build upon your connection with her and help you feel closer to your baby. A gender reveal party can be combined with a baby shower. Even if you are not the one giving birth to your baby, the idea is to celebrate the baby and pregnancy. It should be a fun occasion for the Intended Parents and for the surrogate. It’s also a great way to introduce your surrogate to your friends and family.

If having a party seems too impersonal, you can start by having an intimate sit down with your loved ones. This conversation should be held somewhere everyone feels at ease, such as at home. Most likely, your family will have many questions about surrogacy, so be prepared to answer questions they may have. Having this intimate conversation will make for less stress for all those involved.

Many doctors recommend with a traditional pregnancy, parents wait until 12 weeks of pregnancy to make any announcements- at this point, the risk of miscarriage decreases significantly. While this is still true with surrogacy as well, many intended parents wait until halfway through the pregnancy or even when their baby is born to share their news with the world. While telling loved ones early on in the journey is important, this can be done privately, and then once the baby is here, it can be announced to everyone else in your network.

In the end, this is your story, and it’s completely up to you on how and when you choose to announce it.

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

surrogacy match

What Makes a Great Surrogacy Match?

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surrogacy matchThe process of matching intended parents and their surrogate is one of the most exciting parts of the surrogacy process! Shared Conception’s objective is that the surrogate and intended parents interact in a comfortable environment and that both parties build a good rapport and partnership. So, what makes a great surrogacy match?

There are many factors we take into consideration when we begin the match-making process. Once a surrogate is accepted into our surrogate mother program, we expertly determine which couples to present her to based upon the criteria she expressed to us during the screening process and the preferences of the intended parents that we are working with.

Personal values

A surrogacy relationship is an intimate relationship in many ways so sharing similar personal values is important. While this doesn’t mean you must agree on everything, it is essential to have personal values that are closely aligned. What personal values are important is different for everyone, so the match meeting is the best time for both sides to ask each other questions to make sure that their beliefs align.

Communication

As with any significant relationship, communication is key. The styles of communication are critical in the surrogacy journey. We look at how both parties prefer to communicate—do both parties prefer texting, emailing, phone calls or in-person meetings? How often is communication needed? Setting expectations regarding communication is very important so neither side is disappointed.

Involvement

Understanding the level of involvement that will be comfortable for both parties is essential. Most surrogates and the intended parents have weekly communication during the pregnancy and update each other after delivery with pictures, texts and calls. There are also some that have constant contact during the journey and see each other often after the baby is born, while a rare few are strictly business and do not plan to have any relationship after this journey ends.

Deal Breakers

This is one of the most important factors to consider. While the agency does screen the surrogate for issues like criminal history or medical issues, there may be other deal breakers to consider. For example, the intended parents may want the surrogate to have a natural birth, but the surrogate will not give birth without an epidural. Views on getting vaccinations can also be a deal breaker. While there can be compromises on some issues, there are some absolutes, and it is best to know what those are for both parties from the very beginning.

Connection

Sometimes the most important aspect of the surrogacy relationship is how well the parties connect with each other. We tell our intended parents and surrogates to trust their intuition. Does it feel right? Do they get emotional when they think about working with each other? Always trust your gut!

Interested in Surrogacy?

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

how to tell your child they were born via surrogacy

How to Tell Your Child They Were Born Via Surrogacy

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Parents have always found it a little uncomfortable to discuss where babies come from with their children. When the birth involves social, emotional, or other complexities such as surrogacy, it can be extremely overwhelming.

While it can be difficult, experts agree that it is important to be honest with your children about their surrogacy story from the very beginning.

Why Should You Tell Them?

Many experts, including psychologists and reproductive experts, believe that children have a right to know their origins. They believe this contributes to a child’s sense of identity, self-esteem, and view of their place in the world.

Another important reason is that you may have to disclose your child’s familial history every time they visit a doctor. It can become uncomfortable if you try to keep it a secret from your child, especially as they get older. This is especially important if you use donor eggs or sperm. At Shared Conception, about half of our clients use donors during their surrogacy journey.

If you are in a same-sex marriage or partnership, your child will likely also have questions about where they came from.

These are all important reasons to have the surrogacy discussion with your child. Whatever your reason is, it is essential to be honest with your child about their conception.

How Do I Tell Them?

You want to remain honest but also age-appropriate in your explanations. Begin with a more gentle introduction to the concept. You can do this in several ways such as reading them a children’s book that explains surrogacy. Young children tend to be extremely open-minded, so it’s crucial to establish surrogacy as a positive story from the beginning and as early as possible.

It’s good to be straightforward when explaining surrogacy to children versus overwhelming them with details they may not fully understand yet. If they ask questions, answer them in the same fashion that any other parent would when it comes to conversations of this type.

What If I Feel Overwhelmed About Telling Them?

If you feel like having this conversation with your child might be too overwhelming for you, that’s ok! Ask for help. Family therapists are often very comfortable talking with you and your child about modern family dynamics and norms.

If your surrogate is still part of your family’s life, it is ok to ask them to help explain. It would be great to show you child pictures if there were any taken during the pregnancy phase. At the end of the day, you just want your child to know that they are loved and supported.

What Happens If My Child Handles It Negatively?

It’s natural for children to sometimes feel upset, angry, confused, or awkward by these types of conversations, and that’s ok! Remember, your child still loves you; they’re just absorbing a lot of information, and they have to process it in their own way. You can also talk to a family therapist to help the child understand and work through their emotions. Always show your child empathy and consideration and remind yourself these feelings are not directed at you personally.

Final Thoughts

As intended parents, you need to view the discussion of surrogacy as an ongoing conversation with your child rather than a one-time talk. The more information you provide your child with, the better their understanding of the situation will be.

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

bad weather

How to Prepare for Storms and Power Outages While Pregnant

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bad weatherBeing pregnant can be stressful on its own, but when there are things like flooding, power outages, or another bad weather-related emergency, being unprepared can add extra layers of worry.

While it is easier said than done, above all else, try not to stress out. Stress can adversely affect your body and the baby. Below are ways to prepare and ideas on what to do during such an event.

Being in Texas means there are occasional hurricanes. Thankfully in most cases, there is enough warning to prepare properly. Before the hurricane arrives, you should create a family communication plan, so everyone knows what needs to be done before and during the hurricane (or an evacuation). Review and practice the plan. Be sure to include the intended parents on what your plans are.

While you may have had a specific hospital in mind to deliver your baby, you need to have alternate locations where you can have your baby if the hospital or birthing center is not an option during the storm. If you are close to your due date, speak with your health care provider in advance on what they recommend to do in case of an emergency. They may be able to provide you with a list of resources, safety precautions and dos and don’ts specific to your pregnancy needs.

If you plan to go to a hospital shelter, check in advance to see if they have a room for you, who may come with you, and what supplies you will need to bring. Typically, in these situations, space is very limited.

Next, you should pack your emergency supplies. This is a great list of items you should pack if you are pregnant:

  • Nutritious foods such as protein bars, nuts, dried fruit, and granola
  • Maternity and baby clothes
  • Prenatal vitamins and other medications (Make sure to have a list of all prescriptions and vitamins you currently take and have at least a two-week supply). Keep these in a sealable plastic bag. Also, if possible, bring all medications in their original prescription bottle. In an emergency, an emergency decree allowing pharmacies to refill medications may be made, but you must have the original bottle.)
  • Extra bottled water
  • Emergency birth supplies such as clean towels, sharp scissors, infant bulb syringe, medical gloves, two white shoelaces, sheets, and sanitary pads
  • Two blankets
  • Closed-toe shoes

*list provided by http://www.getreadyforflu.org/Resources/Fact-Sheets/Family-Hurricanes

If you have a chronic medical condition or pregnancy-related complication and are planning to leave town, it is important to bring your current medications, your most recently updated medical records, and the name and phone number of your health care provider.

What to Do After the Hurricane

Once the storm has passed, the cleanup and recovery phase begins. During this time, be careful not to become dehydrated or over-tired. Both of these are contributing factors to premature labor. Be sure to get plenty of rest by taking frequent breaks, drink plenty of water, if possible, take cool showers, wash hands well and frequently (especially after any contact with floodwaters), do not lift heavy objects, know the signs the signs of preterm labor.

What Happens if You Give Birth During a Storm

The low-pressure systems that come with hurricanes can cause women to go into labor. The signs of labor include increased back pressure and pain, vaginal leaking, light contractions, and your water breaking. If you go into labor during the storm, first call 911. Do not attempt to drive if there is flooding or other severe weather alerts. Driving could make things worse, so above all else, keep you and the baby safe.

If you have to give birth at your home or an alternate location, get in touch with your hospital, health care provider, intended parents, and both sets of attorneys as soon as possible. If you have to evacuate to a shelter, be sure to alert those in charge about your condition right away so that they can find someone to help you. It’s

How to Feed During a Power Outage

If you delivered your baby during the storm and still do not have power, here are some ways you can still feed the baby:

  • Pump in the car: most breast pumps can run off your car battery (if your pump needs a car adapter, be sure to look into purchasing this as part of your emergency supplies).
  • Hand pumps: Make sure to have a hand pump. These are easy and do not require any electricity.

As a side note, if you have the ability to freeze any milk before the power outage, a good rule of thumb when determining if the milk is still ok is—if there are still ice crystals in the milk, it is fine. Ice crystals mean that it is still frozen and should be safe for the baby.

After Storm Recovery

Once the storm has passed and recovery efforts are finished, if it is safe to do so, it will be time to meet with the intended parents. Hopefully, too much time hasn’t passed since the intended parents will be on pins and needles waiting to meet their sweet baby! Shared Conception will be here to help you through this process. If you have any questions about preparing for a storm or how to stay in touch with our agency and the intended parents, please contact us at: 713-622-1144.

 

surrogacy journey

Understanding the Journey of Surrogacy- From the Perspective of a Surrogate

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surrogacy journeyBeing a surrogate provides a ray of hope for other families. This knowledge strengthens the resolve of a surrogate and helps surrogates stay strong through the emotional and physical challenges of pregnancy. Surrogates should embrace and celebrate that they will be the giver of the most invaluable gift.

Surrogates work on fostering a connection with the intended parents. Surrogates make them as much a part of the journey as they can so that the intended parents can begin building cherished memories for their future family.

How Surrogacy Affects the Surrogate

Many former and current surrogates say the process of surrogacy will be a life-changing experience but in the best of ways. While they do receive a base compensation for it, the best reward is being able to provide this meaningful gift to a loving couple.

Surrogacy is a selfless and fantastic gift, but it takes a woman of phenomenal strength to volunteer for it and she should feel immense pride.

What Surrogate Mothers have to Say

What does being a surrogate feel like? They say it is one thing to go through the action and the steps, but it is another to embrace the emotional journey. Their best approach, say experienced surrogates, is to hear the stories of other surrogate women, just as they share a glimpse of theirs here.

They say the amazing journey of other surrogate mothers inspires them to become one. For one surrogate mother, her surrogacy journey began with realizing how much she loved being pregnant. She has three little boys of her own. When her own family was complete, she knew she had to share this gift others. In mutual agreement with her husband, she began her inspirational surrogacy journey.

Final Thoughts

For surrogates, helping others comes very naturally to them. For them, surrogacy builds upon one vital truth: they can help two people become parents and experience the extraordinary joy of nurturing a life.

If you would love some guidance on your surrogacy journey, feel free to contact us.

How to Recognize Your Calling for Surrogacy

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For couples who have long yearned for parenthood, surrogates are no less than superheroes for them. Selflessness, unconditional empathy, and desire to complete another couple’s family make them superheroes. The amazing fact is that they’re ordinary women, but they do incredible things in their ordinariness, like volunteering for a phenomenal cause.

Every woman is precious and unique: you’ll find women from all walks of life stepping up to be surrogates, including stay-at-home moms, lawyers, teachers, factory workers, and even students. What unites these extraordinary women is their mutual and astounding desire for an experience that is greater and more fulfilling than anything else.

Surrogacy is an incredible calling. But what are the motivating factors or the signs that help a woman recognize her calling for it? Let’s find out below.

1. A Desire to Help Barren Couples or individuals Start their Family

For women, there can be no surer sign that they are called to be surrogates than having a heartfelt desire to help couples/individuals become parents. A woman may know of a barren couple/individual in her circle or may feel the emptiness and longing ache of those who don’t have children.

Hence, if she feels an undeniable desire to help give life and facilitate others experiencing the joy of parenthood, it is a sign of her calling. Realizing her ability to create life and complete another family signifies a calling for surrogacy.

Many women may find it challenging to put their unique perspectives into words. But it is the indescribable desire of wanting to share the unique experience of completion, parenthood, and life-creation that is the first sign of their calling.

2. Empathizing with Those Struggling with Infertility

Infertility has become a widespread struggle for many, as the surrogacy agencies in Texas will testify. Around ten percent or more women in the US alone struggle to get pregnant or carry their pregnancy to term safely every year. Women who are deeply empathetic and passionate with those struggling with infertility realize their calling for surrogacy.

A sure sign of your calling to be a surrogate is when you wish, above anything else, to provide a safe alternative to another couple. Medical experts will testify that surrogacy is the safest alternative for those struggling with genetic pregnancies.

Hence, when you feel the overpowering desire to carry a baby in your womb just so another couple can have a family, you know you are called to be a surrogate.

3. The Experience

Others find pregnancy overwhelming, but those who have a calling for surrogacy find it a rewarding, wholesome, unique, and enjoyable experience. If you relate to all these feelings, you should evaluate how much you would love to be a surrogate.

When some women reach the end of their pregnancy journey, they feel a strange sense of nostalgia. It begins when they experience the first kick, and lasts all the while they are pregnant. If this is what you feel, too, then there can be no doubt that you have the heart and soul of a surrogate.

Often, the reason behind repeated surrogacies is because women wish to relive the amazing feeling of giving life, being a protector and a carrier for a precious bundle of joy. It is even more wholesome and rewarding when this feeling combines with the joy and pride of seeing another family complete because you could deliver for them.

4. Wanting to Belong to the Surrogacy Sisterhood Community

Surrogacy is a tight-knit sisterhood community. It is a community of gestational carriers wanting to carry the baby for other women who are unable to carry a pregnancy to term. If you feel a deep longing to belong and contribute to this community and belong to it forever, you are called to be a surrogate.

The surrogacy sisterhood community uplifts other women by sharing their life-giving journey. It is a community where women reach out to help each other, experience a remarkable journey with them, and be their support to lean on in distressing times.

The community celebrates together when a family completes and does not let a couple’s longing for parenthood and having their own family remain unfulfilled. Those who wish to play a significant part in this journey of completion are doubtlessly born to be surrogates.

Becoming a Surrogate – Evaluate Yourself

When you have identified the signs of your calling and are willing to embark on the journey, take some time to evaluate your readiness. Perhaps you can prepare yourself by questioning your perspectives, your objectives, and yourself with these questions:

  • Do I lead the kind of lifestyle necessary for the process of surrogate pregnancy? What do I need to change or restructure to make it easier?
  • What are my reasons for becoming a surrogate?
  • Am I ready to change my personal life, family responsibilities, and career to become a surrogate?
  • Am I willing to compromise my work time and career objectives for a year?
  • Will I manage to keep up with the medical plan for surrogate fertility?
  • Can anything in my background raise a potential red flag about my ability to deliver a child safely? Do I have optimal health for completing a successful pregnancy journey for another?
  • Am I willing to work with the intended parents for this journey and give them a year of my life to complete their family?

With these questions, your willingness and resolve to become a surrogate will become more straightforward, and even stronger. It will also give you a clear analysis of your emotional, mental and physical readiness to undergo what will indeed be a unique and larger-than-yourself experience of life.

Final Thoughts

The calling of surrogacy is like no other. It rewards the surrogate women in a way that no other achievements in life can match up to. For women who recognize the desires, the empathy, and the soul-deep willingness to end the struggle of another, there can be no greater sign than their greater calling to be a surrogate.

Once you deliver a child safe on another’s behalf, it will change your life in the best way possible. If you have further questions regarding the surrogacy process, feel free to contact us.