It’s been reported that military wives currently account for 20 percent of all surrogate births each year.

In a sense, while her husband is serving our country, she is serving stateside helping an intended family do what seemed to be impossible—start a family.

Experts and analysis argue the reason for such high numbers within this group and the fight can get quite bitter.

But here’s what we want military wives contemplating surrogacy to consider.

Is your state surrogate friendly? There are hostile and friendly surrogate states and we wrote a blog post that identifies them. You can look up your state here. It’s important to know your state’s laws regarding surrogacy because this can impact whether you can even enter into a surrogacy contract.

Have you considered insurance issues? Many intended parents and agencies do not want to use Tricare as the surrogates insurance. Do your research on this.

What if the unthinkable happens? Our surrogates and intended parents aren’t thrilled when we have to have the discussion on planning for worse case scenarios. We insist that our families have the hard discussions upfront so everyone is clear and there are no surprises once the process starts. Ask yourself what you are willing and not willing to do if there’s something wrong the fetus. Know the answer upfront. Your answer doesn’t preclude you from being a surrogate; it just helps when matching you with an intended family.

Work with a credible agency. There have been some horrific stories in the news lately on unethical agencies and their owners. Do your homework. Ask credible resources like your doctor and always trust your gut. We invite prospective surrogate mothers to interview us thoroughly! Talk to other surrogate mothers that have trusted us to connect them and even talk to former intended parents!

We certainly understand some of the financial strain some of our military families experience. We can’t deny that surrogacy is attractive for financial reasons and helps alleviate some of the burden. However, we don’t want to see these families—families already dedicated to service—taken advantage of.

We pride ourselves on providing excellent care and service to our surrogate mothers and extend that same care to those who have spouses serving in our military.

 

Photo credit: © Billyfoto | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

 

Babies being born through surrogacy are on the rise!

Health insurance companies excluding surrogacy from members are also on the rise.

Seems more and more insurance companies are not willing to be pay for maternity care if the member is a carrier for another couple; especially since the surrogate mother is getting paid for her service. These exclusions could increase as the U.S. Affordable Care Act is enacted and more people are included.

The State of Wisconsin however, made it illegal for insurance companies to refuse coverage for a surrogacy pregnancy.

So if you don’t happen to live in Wisconsin, surrogate mothers and intended parents often times have to buy additional health insurance.

The problem is that in Texas, there are no single insurance plans that include maternity costs. Only group policies such as employer plans offer maternity care.

Currently, if a surrogate has no insurance, then the intended parents pay cash for the pregnancy and delivery expenses but take out a single insurance plan to cover any complications that may arise. Even though it doesn’t cover the obstetrician or hospital, it will cover complications. Should complications occur, prices can quickly escalate and become astronomical, so it pays to protect yourself.

Again, the scenario above is if the surrogate has NO insurance. If she has insurance and there is a surrogacy exclusion, it becomes even more complicated as more and more insurance companies are not giving coverage if the insured has health coverage already. Call our office for more information on this scenario.

With more insurance companies exclude surrogacy, it pays to use an agency that will not only match IPs and surrogate mothers but also takes insurance matters seriously.

If more states follow Wisconsin’s lead (we hope they do) then this is one last expense for IPs and that money can use that money towards diapers or a college fund!

 

 Photo by Hollywood Branded

 

The rumors simply won’t die.

When you’re a big superstar like Beyonce and actress Holly Madison, for better or for worse rumors and lack of privacy comes with the territory.

Beyonce’s baby bump came into question during an interview. Some say something just didn’t look right about her bump at the time. Some think Beyonce used a surrogate to have her baby Blue Ivy.

Another celebrity under the microscope is Holly Madison. She got back into shape so fast after the birth of her baby that rumors began to circulate about whether she carried her baby at all or used a surrogate.

This whole did she or didn’t she, puts surrogacy in a negative light…again.

Having a baby via a surrogate isn’t a bad thing.

And to suggest that these women used a surrogate for vanity’s sake… Well, that’s just cruel; not only to the women whom the insult is hurled but also to the industry, the families who use surrogacy and the mothers who give of themselves to help others. Surrogacy isn’t paying someone to do the “dirty work” of having a baby.

There is nothing wrong with a woman hiring a surrogate mother to bear her children if she can’t have them on her own. And there are so many women who want to experience pregnancy and childbirth. They’re usually heartbroken when they find out they can’t bear children of their own.

I wish these rumors would stop; for Beyonce and Holly’s sake certainly, and also for the families and surrogate mothers who rely on this loving service to grow their families.

We at Shared Conception know surrogacy is a wonderful way to grow your family! To us there’s nothing more rewarding than connecting intended parents and the right surrogate mother! The fruit of our labor is cute and cuddly and downright adorable.

Lots of celebrities are growing their families through surrogacy and here are a few of our favorites!

 

Giuliana Rancic – Giuliana and her hubby Bill found a surrogate to carry their baby. Their first child, a boy named Edward Duke, arrived in late August 2012.

Nicole Kidman – Bet you didn’t know she used a surrogate! Yep, she and husband Keith Urban had a baby girl through gestational surrogacy.

Sarah Jessica Parker – She and hubby Matthew Broderick had twins via a surrogate!

Neil Patrick – Doogie Howser star and his partner David Burtka grew their family via surrogacy. The two are proud papas of their fraternal twins Gideon and Harper.

Angela Bassett – Waiting to Exhale actress, Angela Bassett and hubby Courtney B. Vance tried for seven years to start a family and finally decided on surrogacy. They are the proud parents of fraternal twins of Slater and Brownyn.

Surrogacy isn’t just for rock stars and famous actors and actresses, regular people living regular lives also use surrogates everyday! If you’re one of them, tell us your story and maybe we’ll feature you in one of our blog posts!

 

Crystal Kelley is an unemployed single mom who became a surrogate mother. One to help another family and two she needed the income. She became a surrogate mother to intended parents in Hartford, Connecticut and around week 21 is where this surrogacy story turns into a nightmare.

Test results showed that the baby had a cleft lip and palette, a brain cyst and some heart issues. The intended parents not wanting the child to suffer wanted to terminate the pregnancy but Kelley refused. She even refused the $10,000 the couple offered only to counter later that she would terminate the pregnancy for $15,000. Later, Kelley moved to Michigan where surrogacy agreements are not recognized and became the baby’s legal mother.

Kelley found a family that would adopt the baby with its many health issues.

For the record, I do not in any way condone Ms. Kelley’s actions. According to her contract, she agreed to “abortion in case of severe fetus abnormality.” She was wrong to breech that contract.

In my meetings with surrogate mothers and intended parents, they hate it when I bring up this issue. It’s uncomfortable. It makes all uneasy but it’s an issue that has to be made clear. This incident is also why we screen surrogate mothers as extensively as we do.

This story also confirmed my belief that surrogacy legislation should be consistent from state-to-state.
Both families couldn’t possibly have imagined the turn of events that occurred. From what we understand, the intended parents are in contact with the adoptive parents and their baby who was born with even more complications than first stated by doctors.

Surrogate mothers and intended parents, please use surrogacy agencies that require you answer the difficult questions like what happens if something is wrong the fetus. Know how you all will handle a situation like the story above.

At Shared Conception, we make sure the hard questions are asked, answered and understood by both surrogate mothers and intended parents.

Here in America, surrogacy births typically go off without a hitch. Agencies make sure that intended mothers and surrogate mothers are well matched. Other countries are finding themselves needing to improve legislation to keep up with the changes in fertility medicine.

I wanted to share a few of the great surrogacy stories and stories that have us saying a prayer for the intended families.

Hooray!
A woman who is the genetic mother of twins was declared the birth mother on her children’s birth certificate. Ireland courts said that the woman who gave birth to the twins had to be listed as their birth mother. The genetic mother won her case and High Court Justice Henry Abbott said that Ireland’s laws needed to “reflect the growing use of artificial insemination, embryo implantation and other fertility techniques.” (news.com.au)

Another Hooray!
An Indian mother was recently given the same rights as an adoptive mother after her surrogate mother gave birth. Her maternity was initially approved but later denied. “Justice Chandru said the purpose of the rule was to allow for bonding between the child and parents. Even in the case of an adoption, the adoptive mother does not give birth to the child, yet the necessity of bonding between the mother and child had been recognised by the Centre. Therefore, the petitioner was entitled for leave in terms of Rule 3-A.” (The Hindu) Good sense prevailed!

By The Skin of Their Teeth
India recently changed their surrogacy laws to exclude same sex couples. Caught up in the middle of that recent change was David and Derek and their new daughter Harvey Rose. New Indian law said couples from Australia had to be in the country on a medical visa. David and Derek were there on a tourist visa. They were able to get Harvey Rose’s citizenship without a problem but getting her home would have been a problem with the wrong visa. Fortunately their story ends well and the family is settling into their new life. (ABC)

Most little girls dream of one day becoming a mother.

They play dolly with their playmates and pretend to be mommies, but imagine knowing at a very young age that you would never be able to have children.

That’s the story of Katy Slade who was born with a genetic disorder that left her without reproductive organs. Her sister Lucy however, made a promise in their childhood that she would share her eggs with her sister.
Well after six years of marriage to husband David Slade, Lucy made good on her promise. But what makes this a great story is that David’s sister Jamie, offered to be the surrogate mother.

This truly became a family affair!

One sister donated the eggs and another sister carried the baby and Katy and David have a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

Stories like this encourage all of us here at Shared Conception.

We love it when a surrogacy has a happy ending!

Congratulations Katy and David and standing ovation to their sisters for their wonderful acts of kindness!

Why it’s important for intended families to do their due diligence

A Modesto, California woman is in jail this morning for taking millions of dollars from intended parents. She entered a guilty plea for embezzlement and wire fraud. Intended parents as far away as Germany lost money and still have no family to show for all their time and money put into the process. The money Tonya Ann Collins was supposed to use for surrogate health care and egg donors was squandered on cars, homes, jewelry and vacations.

This makes my blood curl.

And that is why I want moms considering becoming a surrogate and intended families to thoroughly research Shared Conception or any other surrogacy agency.

Do your due diligence.

The Internet is a great place to start your search but don’t let it stop there.

Call clients of the agency you’re considering and talk to the families.

Check with the Better Business Bureau to see if any complaints exist.

Ask your doctor for referrals and most important trust your instincts. If something just doesn’t feel quite right, don’t ignore it.

I want you to ask questions, talk to as many people as you can because it breaks my heart that intended families and surrogate mothers were taken advantage of in this way.

Collins could spend up to 20 years in jail for her crimes.

For the families she’s hurt, I wonder if they’ll feel that’s long enough.

It’s cases like this that reinforce my belief that the surrogacy industry will soon be regulated and rightfully so.
In the meantime, do due diligence and if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I hate the phrase “rent-a-womb.”

Surrogacy is growing as a viable method for couples to grow their families and I know these families.
I know their stories.

I know the women who agree to carry children on behalf of these couples and that’s why the phrase “rent-a-womb” is so irksome.

I also keep up with surrogacy news and the latest stats.

I know babies born by gestational surrogates grew by 89 percent between 2004 and 2008. I know surrogacy is growing in India and am also concerned about the women who choose to become surrogates and their fair treatment. I’m also familiar with the “anecdotal evidence” that suggests wives of our military serviceman are “disproportionately hired as surrogates” due to difficult financial situations. I’m familiar with the traditional surrogate court cases and the negative attention it brings this industry.

I know.

I’m familiar with it all.

I know that as surrogacy continues to grow, increased legislation to protect all in involved is on the horizon. I think international laws may even be created to protect women in developing countries and I’m all for it. Truly I am.

My commitment to moms who choose to be surrogates and intended parents is reflected in how Shared Conception conducts business.

“Rent-a-womb” demeans what we do. It paints our intended parents in a bad light. Some intended parents have spent thousands of dollars trying to conceive on their own with no success. You can’t imagine how it feels to want a child, try for years to conceive and fail every time. In vitro treatements are costly and can be painful and the emotional rollercoaster tests the strongest of relationships. So when a couple finally chooses surrogacy, that rent-a-womb phrase doesn’t sit well.

I have no doubt that this industry will continue to see rapid growth and become regulated to some degree. But news analysts and experts need to abandon the rent-a-womb terminology. They need to meet the women who serve as surrogates through our agency and the families whose lives they bless. Then maybe they’ll call this loving process by its correct name and realize no catch phrase is needed.

Source: Council for Responsible Genetics: Surrogacy in America