Making an annual list of New Year’s resolutions is an enduring tradition. It dates back to the ancient Romans, who customarily made a show of promising the god Janus that they would behave better over the next 12 months than they had in the past year. But while Janus was the patron deity of new beginnings, he also provided a convenient excuse. If a citizen of Rome didn’t actually follow through with his various self-improvement vows, he could always shrug it off by explaining that it was Janus’ will. Then, presumably, he could just go on gorging himself at banquets or betting excessively on gladiator fights.

Sounds familiar? A couple of millennia later, we’re pretty much doing the same thing that the Romans did. We may finally decide to research becoming an Intended Parent yet procrastinate. You may come to the realization that you need to partner with a surrogacy agency, make the phone call yet hesitate to completely follow through. As a potential surrogate mother, you may decide to start the surrogacy process by eating healthy and exercising yet consistently overindulge and delay working out. For one reason or the other, these resolutions sometimes do not come to pass, no matter how well-intentioned.

But with all the practice we get at making resolutions year after year, why aren’t we doing better at keeping them? We suspect that one reason is that while losing weight or quitting smoking (two of the top resolutions) are worthy endeavors, they sound rather boring and involve a lot of self-denial. This year, why not make some positive and creative New Year’s resolutions? Here are a few that you might actually be able to keep.
1)Trust your instincts-if your heart tells you to become an Intended Parent, research it and act on it.
2)Stop procrastinating-you know how much you yearn for your baby. Call a surrogacy agency such as Shared Conception and make it happen.
3)Learn to take risks-becoming a surrogate mother is a risk. Taking on the role as an Intended Parent is a risk. They are both ultimately rewarding!
These are just a few resolutions that are realistic and fulfilling. These are resolutions that can possibly have a long-term impact on your life. Let’s get started on our personal success in 2014!

The holiday season is a difficult time for many people. Dark weather brings depression, shorter days cause fatigue, finances triggers strife, and relationship tensions can reach a breaking point at this time of year. Throw in trying to determine if you should be a surrogate or awaiting your baby as an Intended Parent, and all these factors can sometimes lead to great loneliness and sadness leaving Christmas a time to be dreaded rather than celebrated.

So, how can we combat those holiday blues?

1. Cry it out.
How can crying help a bout of holiday depression? Tears are cleansing, and crying is a good catharsis that will release pent-up stress. It’s relieving, ultimately, even though it hurts in the moment. As you happily yet anxiously enter the surrogacy process and it happens to be around the holidays, cry a bit and release your stress and fears.

2. Don’t isolate yourself.
Sadness makes a person feel alone, and they tend to isolate themselves out of shame, guilt, frustration or sadness. As you thoughtfully agree to become a surrogate mother or decide to engage in the surrogacy process, surround yourself with people who love and care about you. It’s okay to need each other.

3. Get outside yourself.
It’s a known fact that helping those who are less fortunate will help to ease feelings of depression. Showing kindness to those who aren’t used to kindness being shown to them will help you count your blessings, and realize that there truly is joy and goodness in the world. Additionally, Shared Conception is here to talk through any part of using a surrogacy agency, the process of surrogacy or other related topics as needed.

4. Get outside.
If it’s frozen and snowing where you are, simply do what you can. Bring some of the outdoors inside. Take a deep breath of brisk air–it’ll make you feel alive. If you live in a warmer climate, go for a hike. Additionally, getting a bit of exercise releases feel-good endorphins, and is a great natural way to fight sadness. Plus, moderate exercise boosts your immune system, so you’re less likely to get sick.

There are many other ways to help fight holiday sadness. If needed, what are some things you do to help you find joy during the holidays?

Are friends celebrating the New Year with steaks cooked rare? ‘Tis the season for your mother’s homemade eggnog, but are raw eggs off your Christmas list this year now that you’re pregnant and drinking for two?

Holidays, and their often less-than-healthy traditions, always pose a challenge when you’re trying to eat well and that goes double when you’re trying to eat well for two PLUS you are a surrogate mother having a baby for excited Intended Parents!

Here are a few adjustments you can make before heading out on the social circuit or going out for a holiday feast.

1)
Order a “mock-tail”: There’s no need to be a pregnant party pooper and a sad surrogate mommy just because your drink options are a bit more limited than they used to be. Just “belly up” to the bartender and order yourself a drink as sparkling as your personality. A glass of bubbly cider, a cranberry spritzer, a no-tequila sunrise, or a virgin anything are great substitutes for alcoholic drinks during pregnancy. Just nursing that mock cocktail will make you feel like you’re joining the party in spirit!

2)
Scan all the offerings at a buffet: Ready to make a beeline for the buffet? Go for it but try to continue eating well by balancing the savory treats with the healthier options.
Be an assertive guest: Ask the chef to completely cook your steak. Tell your host that one sliver of seven pies is just about all you can handle. Keep in mind that while the holidays are definitely a time to splurge, eating sensibly is a necessity. You are going through the surrogacy process, after all, and everything you eat matters.

3)
Don’t miss a meal: It’s tempting to skip a meal so you can just stuff yourself with stuffing later on — but the baby, as always, needs regular feedings around the clock. Your Intended Parents will sure appreciate you.

4)
Be merry: Soon, after you have delivered the baby to his/her Intended Parents, you’ll be able to toast with real champagne and eat everything in sight. For now, party like a pregnant rock star and enjoy the journey of being an amazing surrogate!

Ahhh, the holidays…they are HERE!
Parties and dinners with family, colleagues and friends.
Cocktails and fun holiday-inspired drinks.
Corralling your family to take those annual holiday pictures.
Decking the halls with…..well, you know the rest.

Alas, as Intended Parents and surrogate moms, our realities are way different than the traditional idea of holiday perfection. For the majority of us, the holidays represent a very stressful time filled with hustle and bustle, rushing from one holiday event to the next plus determining the right gifts for your family, friends and coworkers.
The holidays can also mean spending time with THAT relative who doesn’t always understand why you are working with a surrogacy agency or how the surrogacy process works. It’s okay, their questions will eventually slow down!

So in the midst of all this organized chaos, where, oh where, is the holiday peace?
Here at Shared Conception, our advice is simple: Find it. Your peace and happiness can only be achieved by you and your internal boundaries. It’s ironic that we have to seek peace during a very and sadly not-so-peaceful time!

Here are a few tips on retaining your sanity while enjoying this season of joy.

1)
Keep the holiday parties and dinners to a minimum. You and your family aren’t obligated to attend and do everything available each holiday. You have permission to do your own thing!

2)
Everything doesn’t have to perfect, after all, your real life isn’t perfect, is it? At Shared Conception, we work hard to achieve perfection for you through explaining the surrogacy pregnancy process, detailing the cost of surrogacy and expertly outlining the plan for finding a surrogate mother. However, in this holiday season, do not try and achieve perfection for yourself and your social gatherings — you will stress yourself out.

3)Recognize that all your events are about the people and not about how many lighted candles you have around the house.
Rest. Savor. Enjoy. It’s the most wonderful time of the year but it’s also a time to reflect and enjoy your friends and loved ones. So do that. Easier said than done, we know-but try.
Be thankful.

Even if your family holidays don’t always look like a Hallmark commercial, it’s your family. Embrace them all.
What additional tips do you have for achieving peace in this fast-approaching holiday season?

Having another woman bear a child for a couple to raise is recorded in history. Babylonian law and custom allowed this practice and infertile woman could use the practice to avoid divorce, which would otherwise be inevitable.

One well-known example is the Biblical story of Sarah and Abraham, a nomadic Hebrew couple unable to conceive. Sarah offered her Egyptian slave Hagar as a surrogate, but later drove her away from the camp when Hagar became disrespectful during the pregnancy. Hagar fled to Egypt, where an angel told her that her son Ishmael would become a leader amongst the Hebrews; she subsequently returned to Sarah and Abraham.

Many developments in medicine, social customs, and legal proceedings worldwide paved the way for modern surrogacy.

1870s–It became common practice in China for couples to pay for an adopted son. All ties to the biological family would be severed, and the child would become an heir and full member of the adopted family.

1930s–In the U.S., pharmaceutical companies Schering-Kahlbaum and Parke-Davis started the mass production of estrogen.

1944–Harvard Medical School, professor John Rock broke ground by becoming the first person to fertilize human ova outside the uterus.

1953–Researchers successfully performed the first cryopreservation of sperm.

1971–The first commercial sperm bank opened in New York, which spurred the growth of surrogacy into a highly profitable venture.

1978– Louise Brown, the first test tube baby, was born in England. She was the product of the first successful in vitro fertilization procedure.

1980–Michigan lawyer Noel Keane wrote the first surrogacy contract.

1985–a woman carried the first successful gestational surrogate pregnancy!
Shared Conception is proud to be a forward-thinking agency who strives to make families happy, fulfilled and complete. As we inch towards the end of 2013, it seems fitting to look back on the root of our beginnings. You know the old saying, “You can’t move forward without looking back.”

Alright, how could a husband be okay with the idea of his wife carrying another man’s child? What husband would support his wife through a pregnancy and delivery, all to make someone else’s family complete? Actually, the number of men who’ve helped their wives give birth to babies for other families is growing. These “surrogate husbands” tend to be middle-class fathers in their 30s, experts say. They are “confident and supportive,” says Elaine Gordon, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who wrote a book for children born through surrogacy entitled, “Mommy, Did I Grow in Your Tummy?”
These men are crucial to helping thousands of couples have babies.

Here at Shared Conception, a married woman is encouraged not to become a surrogate unless her husband–who also has to undergo psychological and financial screening–gives his written consent. After all, his involvement is too important to the surrogacy process for him to be anything less than fully supportive.

Our agency remind husbands that there can be medical emergencies and months of bed rest, in addition to possibly administering the daily hormone shots into their wives before they even get pregnant. Let’s also remember that at times, these selfless husbands will have to play a larger role in the upkeep of their home and the maintenance of their kids. When their wives are too tired, at doctors’ appointments or meeting with the intended parents, this man will have to pick up kids, feed kids, solely help with homework and transport to extracurricular activities. The surrogacy process is not only about the woman, her spouse surely is a significant part of it all.

At the end of the surrogacy pregnancy though, this couple who have changed the lives of the intended parents, will have a new appreciation for each other. They will, more than likely, bond even closer together and the husband will view his wife with an intense appreciation unlike any other. THEIR journey continues as they successfully live out their lives with their own family.

The holiday season is around the corner. We are all making those Thanksgiving plans and Christmas decorations started popping up almost immediately after the summer.
Months earlier, a couple with fertility issues, became “intended parents” as they made the decision to partner with a surrogacy agency, pinpoint the best surrogate mother and finally have the baby of their dreams. It’s a joyous and emotional time as both parties embark on the surrogacy process!
Those intended parents are now wondering how to handle the upcoming excitement of the season, anticipate the arrival of their baby while celebrating the surrogate mother without fully intruding on her own personal family celebrations.

Here are a few tips-it’s all possible!

-Communicate to the surrogate mother that you all want to share aspects of the upcoming holiday season with her and her family and mutually agree upon how it can happen.

-Send or give your surrogate a gift card to her favorite restaurant-she and her family will enjoy spending an evening there.

-Gift your surrogate family with a special Christmas tree ornament.
-Bake or present her and her family with her favorite dessert – yum!

-The husband of your surrogate may appreciate a gift card to his favorite home improvement store or an outing at the local golf course. This man is a huge part of the surrogacy process, after all!

-If applicable, arrange a kid-friendly outing for your surrogate, her husband and her kids-how fun for them!

-Share your heartfelt thoughts and wishes with your surrogate mother as you both enter the holiday season. Let her know how much her, and your baby growing inside of her, mean as Thanksgiving approaches-there is much to celebrate.

-Send the surrogate parents a bottle of their favorite wine with a fun card saying “for future purposes!”

-If it’s appropriate, attend a holiday or religious event together.
Most of all, always communicate how you all wish her and her family “all good things” as this season of joy and goodwill rounds the corner.

Here at Shared Conception, it is our sincere wish that you all experience a shared sense of happiness throughout the season. Call on us as needed!

If you are pregnant with more than one baby, then you are already aware that you may need some special TLC for this pregnancy. If you have only had single births before, you will definitely want to know the special conditions that come with carrying multiples. It can be extra exciting as well, because you are blessing someone with more than they expected.

Surrogate Mothers Carrying Multiples: Nutrition and Fitness

Be sure you are take a high quality prenatal vitamins which include the crucial nutrients folic acid, calcium and DHA. You’ll also want to monitor your iron intake. Remember, you may be going in for more doctor visits than with a single pregnancy. Keeping an eye on yourself nutritionally while also working with your doctor is especially important.

Extra babies mean extra calories. Roughly 300 calories per day should be added for each baby. So if you are carrying twins, add another 600 calories. Be sure to check with your doctor if you are carrying morethan twinsto be sure you are consuming enough calories, but not too many. Eating a well-balanced diet is important. Getting a lot of vegetables, lean proteins, calcium-rich and other nutrient dense foods are great for multiples.

Exercise is very important for surrogate mothers carrying multiples. It helps keep you and the babies’ bodies healthy. Even though you need to exercise to keep those babies healthy, you need to take a different approach. You can’t overwork yourself. After talking to your doctor, do some stretching, walking and light swimming. You can tire out much more quickly carrying babies, but exercise will help you manage your energy levels.

Enjoying Your Multiples

Now we get into the good stuff; enjoying those two or more babies that are growing so fast in your belly. Have you thought about how you will keep track of your milestones? Multiples are so special and rare, that some people create blogs around their multiples. Even though you are a surrogate mom who will have them for a short time, why not talk about your experiences? You can really help out other moms who are carrying multiples. Next, share on social media. Putting up status updates and sharing your incredible experiences with family and friends makes it so much more exciting. However, make sure you don’t mention the intended parents’ names or anything that could identify them. Take pictures, create scrapbooks, collages, videos; whatever you can do to really make it more memorable. Share all this with the intended parents. Making memories of multiples is definitely a labor of love.

How does surrogate mother compensation work? There is usually an agreement between the surrogate mother and the intended parent or parents. First, there is a base fee. This fee is paid to the surrogate mother to cover her time though her pregnancy.

Carrying a child for nine months is literally a labor of love. So how does compensation for such a tall order work? There are medical and incidental costs to consider. There is a standard by which surrogate mother compensation adheres to.

When a couple and a surrogate mom sign a contract, they agree on all components of the compensation. The surrogate mother is carrying a baby to help someone receive one of the greatest gifts in life. Although it’s difficult to put a number on such a kind act, the base fees can be anywhere from $18,000 to $35,000.

The fees are paid out monthly to the surrogate mothers. The reason it is not done in one lump sum is in case something happens to the embryo or fetus. Even mothers who take good care of themselves and unborn babies can still experience miscarriages. In this way, surrogates are still compensated for the time they are pregnant.

Surrogate Mother Expenses

Surrogate mother expenses can be lumped into one large lump sum, which can be broken down into smaller expenses.

Time
Medical expenses
Transportation
Lost wages
Legal fees
Child care (for existing children)
Insurance
Agency fees
Miscellaneous fees

There are many small expenses that can be taken into account.

A special note about insurance.

Some surrogates have their own insurance which will help cover maternity costs. Surrogates without insurance must be insured by the intended parents. At the current time, insurance choices are very limited in the state of Texas. For this reason, surrogates who have their own insurance command higher compensation. Surrogates are not allowed to use Medicaid for their surrogacy journey.

There are many costs and expenses involved with surrogate mother compensation. The best thing to do is to research, talk to people, get on forums and connect with professionals. Getting a handle on expenses is one of the best ways to be prepared for the financial aspect of surrogacy.

If you really think about it, the actual process of surrogacy sounds is an amazing advance in reproductive technology. The act of creating an embryo and placing it into someone to carry for nine months, so that someone else can raise that baby sounds like it comes straight out of a science fiction novel. We are lucky to be living in a time where this can be done, usually successfully. As you also know, the technology does not take out the very emotional element that affects everyone – the parents-to-be, siblings, grandparents, etc. To find a surrogate mother is to find someone who can handle this complex combination of technology and emotion.

Finding a Surrogate Mother You Can Trust

Finding a surrogate mother you can trust first means that she must be completely informed as to what is going to happen throughout the entire process. It takes experience and the ability to be thorough in order to inform a potential surrogate on what is to come. It takes resources to dip into a pool of good potential surrogate mother. Also, qualifying the potential surrogate mother makes sure that she is up to the task physically as well as emotionally.

Things To Consider When Finding a Surrogate Mother

When finding a surrogate mother, think about your own assumptions and expectations.

What is required?

What would be nice to see, but not a deal breaker?

What would be an absolute deal breaker for you?

Always be evaluating your own standards, to be sure that they are realistic and fair. Always be researching and learning something new about the process.

Set intentions about how you want the pregnancy to go. Write them down and organize your thoughts. Then, sit down with a potential surrogate and ask her what she thinks, like communication, diet, exercise, etc.

Finding a surrogate mother is a big decision. You will want to make sure you consider all your options, like age, lifestyle, medical history and family medical history. Above all else, trust your heart, when you meet someone. Trusting your heart can be the single most effective way of finding the surrogate mother of your dreams.