Be it day one or the second trimester, pregnancy often yields a bit of discomfort. And the central point of that discomfort is usually the back. For many surrogates (and expectant mothers everywhere), finding relief can sometimes feel impossible.

If you are experiencing back pain during your surrogate pregnancy, try using ice, heat, or massage to relieve symptoms. Beyond that, check out the following methods to find relief. (As always, consult with your healthcare provider before beginning any new exercise program during pregnancy.)

1. Strengthen your back muscles from the get-go. The best place to start is at the beginning. Keeping those muscles strong and lean from the start of your pregnancy means more support and less pain. Who doesn’t want that?

2. Practice good posture. Stand up straight and tall with your chest high and shoulders back and relaxed. Don’t lock your knees. As the baby grows, your center of gravity naturally shifts forward. This means that you’re likely leaning backward in an effort not to fall forward. This strains the muscles in the lower back and leads to pain. To be mindful of your posture, try the following:

Stand up straight and tall

Hold your chest high

Keep your shoulders back and relaxed

Don’t lock your knees

3. Choose alternative care. Pre-natal chiropractic care during pregnancy is a safe and effect way to not only get relief but to help before, during, and after the birthing process. Acupuncture is also a wonderful option for back pain and even morning sickness.

4. Try different yoga poses and proper stretching.

5. Foam roll your lower back. Foam rolling, pregnant or not, can offer a ton of relief.

6. Wear a supportive bra and supportive shoes. Doing so can relieve some of the back discomfort by keeping the spine more neutral and providing a good base of support, respectively.

And those times you’re really feeling the throb, just think about the bigger picture. You’re helping bring life into the world for a family that is grateful beyond words! Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, is happy to help with all aspects related to a surrogacy pregnancy. Give us a call.

Surrogate mother, “What makes a great surrogate mother?”

We often get this question from surrogates (and intended parents). There's simply no clear cut answer. However, there are several qualities and factors that play into a successful journey as a surrogate mother.

Beyond meeting the requirements and passing screening, a strong surrogate should have a love of pregnancy, an understanding of the time and commitment involved, and an overall sense of compassion. Want to know more? Here are additional things to consider to enhance your time as a surrogate.

1. Be consistent with communication. As Shared Conception is a relationship-based agency, it is important you remain available to your intended parents. We encourage communication at least once a week between surrogates and intended parents. Have fun with it, too! You’re getting to know people who often become extended family.

2. Share your story with others. Becoming an advocate for surrogacy and showcasing your support for the process is one of the best things a surrogate can do. While the acceptance of surrogacy has grown tremendously, there are some people who still feel it’s wrong. And it’s usually because of inexperience with it or an unawareness of the process. With surrogate mothers sharing their experiences, more and more people can open their minds to the wonderful thing it is.

3. Use your support system. Whether you are married, partnered, dating, or single, having a primary support person is a requirement for all surrogates in our program. Beyond the physical demands of a pregnancy, you’re going to have emotional ones. This person should be able to assist with child care, housekeeping, and hormonal injections during the IVF process, and emotional support during your journey. Your support person will play an integral role in helping to make this journey a positive experience for you.

4. Be open-minded and understanding. Surrogacy is a human experience. No one can control how and when an individual will respond to medications; whether or not travel plans will need to be changed at the last minute; or whether, despite seemingly ideal conditions, a pregnancy will be achieved on a given transfer. These elements are often out of your control, which is why our surrogacy agency asks surrogates (and intended parents) to focus efforts on managing expectations throughout the process.

Shared Conception hopes these pointers offer a path to a more fulfilling surrogacy for you and your intended parents!

Which gems, stones and crystals are said to best help boost fertility? Our list of fertility stones includes each gemstone's healing properties. 

Moonstone  is a great gemstone for fertility. It has a reflective and  calming energy by balancing emotions due to stress and anxiety. It is said to have the power to grant wishes.  Moonstone is often used for fertility and infertility as it is said to regulate a woman’s menstrual cycle and boost female energy. Moonstone is a love stone, and is said to draw love to its wearer. It can help  solve problems between lovers. If it is worn during sexual intercourse, it not only can make the woman very fertile, it is said to help impregnate her too. 

Rose Quartz is said to aid increasing overall fertility. It is also helpful with headaches, migraines, sexual dysfunction,  depression, addictions, ear aches and weight loss. Rose quartz is helpful and protective during pregnancy and with childbirth. Emotionally, Rose Quartz brings forgiveness, compassion, as well as balancing one's emotions. It helps with healing emotional wounds and traumas. Rose Quartz removes fears, resentments and anger.  

Aventurine is used to encourage pregnancy and enhance fertility. It is considered the stone of love, which can boost all feelings and emotions, and also promote optimism and self-confidence. It is also believed that this stone can help to win over the heart of the loved one. It is also used to promote friendships, happiness and increasing luck.  

Pearls symbolize tears, provide love and fertility. They offer protection from negative energy and events.  

Red Carnelian is said to boost fertility, energy, promote sexuality and planned reproduction. Red Carnelian also stimulates and balances the uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, cervix and vagina. It alleviates PMS and balances reproductive hormones and helps guard against miscarriage. The stone is also used for Arthritis, Cancer, reducing cramps, stress and depression.

Aquamarine is highly protective during pregnancy, it helps to guard both mother and baby from harm.  It also discourages miscarriage. 

Fluorite is key for assisting to stabilize hormonal changes such as PMS, PCOS and menopause. 

Black Coral is one of the most widely recommended gemstones for boosting male fertility. It is said to be an emotional healer, brings peace, stimulates intuition, enhance virility and fertility as well as relieve stress. Black coral also increases creativity.

Ruby Zoiste  (also known as Anyolite) promotes fertility as it supports the reproductive process on all levels, from conception, birth to growth and development. It stimulates the root chakra to increase vitality and enthusiasm for life.

Smoky Quartz increases fertility, balances sexual energy and helps to alleviate depression for both men and women. Smoky Quartz is good for people with radiation-related illness or those in chemotherapy. Smoky Quartz has positive effect on sexual organs, therefore it is good for Myoma and Menopause. For men it is excellent for inflammation of the Prostate Gland.

Turquoise is not only December's birthstone, it is a gemstone that provides protection, grounding, strength, courage, love and luck.Turquoise is also a token of friendship. Perhaps it's strongest ability is for alleviating negativity. Many Indian tribes associate Turquoise with fertility.

Unakite is said to cleanse and balance. It is associated with fertility and has been used as a fertility aid. Unakite is also recommended for a healthy pregnancy and delivery. Many doulas will not deliver a child without the presence of Unakite.

Shared Conception hopes this information will, as always, keep you informed as well as help you choose unique stones and gems. Any gem store or several websites such injewels.net can custom create a piece for you using any combination of these stones. Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, would love hearing more about your stones and gem selections. Let us hear from you!

When adding to your family, surrogates become an important part of the equation. How do you even begin to show your gratitude to these women who have given you such a profound gift?

Treat your surrogate with these gifts; a small “thank you” for the gift they have given you.

Personalized Necklace
A custom piece of jewelry could be a lovely present for a surrogate.  You can even have the surrogate's name on the necklace.

Night Out
Pick a restaurant she would like, hire a sitter if they have kids, and treat your surrogate to a well-deserved night out. This gift will always be a winner!

Pregnancy Journal
A pregnancy journal is a wonderful way to document the journey from matching to birth and is a wonderful surrogacy keepsake.

Yummy Tea for Tough Mornings
Delicious and soothing teas will mean a lot to these amazing surrogates. You can purchase  individual teas or cute gift bundles that come with a tote bag-perfect for surrogates!

A Day at the Spa
Pamper your surrogate with a day of rest and relaxation at a local spa. For a more modest gift, treat her to cute bag filled with products to transform her home into a spa. Fill it with nail polish, body lotions and scrubs and even her favorite magazines or books.

Don’t forget her family!
A truly touching show of thanks would be to include her children in the holiday gift giving. This really shows that the intended parents care about her and the people they love.

A Photo Shoot
Involve your surrogate in a pregnancy photoshoot, it is something that you both will treasure. It is also a great photo to show your child when he or she gets older, if you so choose.

Pamper Basket 
Gather fun magazines, soothing lotions and candles, chocolates, and maybe even some gift cards for a pamper basket for a much needed pick-me-up.

Now that you have your gifts for your surrogate, enjoy the exciting moments after she receives  the gift(s)! Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, looks forward to helping you further build and enhance your family in the near future. Give us a call.

In the United States, the law that applies to surrogacy arrangements is controlled by the individual states.  Some states regulate surrogacy, some states forbid surrogacy entirely, and some states have little to no body of surrogacy law. 

In surrogacy arrangements, the most important law comes from the state where the surrogate lives and delivers the child.  For example, New Jersey’s position on surrogacy requires a second-parent adoption process to secure parental rights if a surrogate carries your child there. Other states allow a much simpler process for securing parental rights.

Texas, the home of our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, is a surrogacy friendly state.
Texas is one of the few states in the USA to recognize and enforce gestational agreements. In 2003, Governor Rick Perry signed House Bill 729 into law, which amended the Texas Family Code and authorized surrogacy agreements between a gestational mother and intended parents.

The intent of HB 729 is to  simplify the process for intended parents to become the only legal parents and for the gestational carrier to relinquish all rights pertaining to the child. Once the contract for gestational surrogacy is approved, it  immediately triggers a judicial order requiring that only the intended parents be listed on the child’s birth certificate after the child is born. 

International surrogacy arrangements add another piece to the puzzle-we suggest that intended parents consult with an attorney in their specific country to ensure that they abide by all the laws of that country and know what to do to get citizenship for their baby once they go back home. 

Before embarking on your surrogacy journey,  seek advice from reputable family law firms and surrogacy agencies, such as Shared Conception.  Surrogacy and gestational agreements shouldn’t be taken lightly due to the emotional and financial stakes involved. Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, have helped parents near and far. Call us to talk about your potential surrogacy process.  We can help you.

“When are you due?”
“Not for another two months.”
“Have you picked out a name?”
“Not yet. The parents have a few in mind, though.”

Although you’re excited and confident about your decision to become a surrogate, some people, such as neighbors, community members, and/or acquaintances, may not feel the same way or may have a lot of questions.

If you’re faced with resistance or judgment, which often stems from misconceptions or a lack of knowledge, take a deep breath. Equipped with the following pointers from our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, you can gracefully discuss your choice to become a surrogate with anyone—even those who don’t understand.

Be confident. When you’re passionate and confident about your decisions, more often than not, people become more interested. Let others know that you’ve fully researched the topic and are confident about helping to create life for a couple or an individual.

Offer information. When discussing your surrogacy with others, it may be beneficial to provide information about the topic. Prejudice stems from people judging before they know all the facts. It’s not your responsibility to change someone’s opinion on your decision. But you can be a source of knowledge for those who are willing to listen and learn.

Accept that others may simply disagree. And hey, that’s okay. Not to sound corny, but differences in opinion make life interesting, sparking debates and conversations. The key is to be respectful.

Lower your defenses. You want those involved in your conversation to actively listen so they digest your points. Being defensive only makes the feat harder. It’s easier to get through to someone when you’re guard is down; they see that it’s safe to engage.

Topics to avoid during conversations about surrogacy.

· Religion: Religion is a touchy topic for most people. It’s also a point of controversy when it comes to surrogacy. Your best bet is to avoid the topic altogether. If someone continually brings it up, let him/her know you’re uncomfortable with the subject. If they don’t respect your wishes, remove yourself from the situation. Chances are that people who don’t respect your wishes aren’t going to be open or engaging in conversation.

· Money: Finances are personal regardless of the context. Moreover, some may argue that it’s unethical to pay money for such a process. While they do get paid, surrogates are also being compensated for their time and dedication. And many women become surrogates because of altruistic or personal reasons, not just financial gain. For example, a surrogate may have a gay friend whose dream is to have a large family with his partner. She’s the key to his making his dream come true.

· Abortion: Being a surrogate, you know that there are rare medical circumstances where intended parents may need to consider abortion or selective reduction. Many people have strong opinions about this. Because the debate is often a heated one, it’s best not to even bring it up.

Hopefully you’ll use these tips to lead discussions about your surrogacy journey toward a positive and informative direction. Most important, be sure to leave any conversation just as confident as when you entered it.

What do you think? What have you found helpful when talking about your surrogacy journey? Let us know in the comments below. Shared Conception wants to hear from you!

What an amazing opportunity it is to give the gift of life, especially for another person via surrogacy. This gift comes with a lot of responsibility and expectation to create a healthy baby—and it all begins in pregnancy. During your surrogate pregnancy, you are eating and living for two, so it’s important to get informed to make the best decisions for an optimal pregnancy. Here are a few top wellness tips for being your best during the next exciting nine months of your journey as a surrogate.

Eat and Cook Fresh Foods. Eat a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats to get balanced nutrition. Avoid packaged foods that have artificial ingredients, are loaded with preservatives, provide little to no nutritional value, and are typically high in sodium. Make sure foods are cooked thoroughly to avoid ingestion of bacteria that could harm the baby.

Keep a Healthy Weight. Maintaining a healthy weight during pregnancy is important to manage. Here are recommendations from the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics on weight gain guidelines during gestation, including calorie intake based on Body Mass Index (BMI) and physical activity.

Eat Mini Meals Daily. Kick off the day with breakfast and eat every two to three hours. These mini meals should be 200-300 calories and include a mix of protein, whole grains, and healthy fats to stabilize blood sugar, ultimately regulating hunger and mood.

Boost Your Nutrition. During pregnancy, there are several nutrients of which you need more, including protein, iron, calcium, folic acid, and omega-3 fatty acids or DHAs. As a critical insurance measure, you should be taking your doctor’s recommended multivitamin daily

Exercise Daily. Being active boosts your metabolism and mood. Continue with your exercise routine and keep it consistent.

Smile and Laugh…A Lot. Spend time with your support system during your surrogacy. Research suggests that the child’s well-being is linked to the woman’s mental health during pregnancy. If a dark chocolate treat makes you happy, go for it!

Keep a Journal. Track your food and mood so you can see if there are changes, e.g. allergies, food aversions, etc., that you should discuss with your intended parents and doctor on your next checkup.

Stay Hydrated! Drink plenty of water throughout the day. Set an alarm for every two hours as a reminder to guzzle up more H2O.

Avoid Alcohol and Caffeine. It’s best to stay “clean” during this nine-month period because the baby takes in what you consume.

Get Plenty of Rest. Get eight to 10 hours of sleep a night so you can keep your stress level down and eat more consistently. Guided meditations and instrumental music are great tools to help you get your rest.

Stay on track with this wellness plan and review it with your intended parents and our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, to reassure them that you’re taking initiative to create a healthy baby!

Although rewarding, the surrogacy process and its lingo can be confusing at times. Not to worry as our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, has defined common terms you’ll come across during your surrogacy  journey to make the experience as seamless as possible. 

1. Carrier/Surrogate/Surrogate Mother: We use these terms interchangeably. However, a general surrogate definition is a woman carrying a child for intended parents who are unable to build a family on their own. There are two types of surrogates: traditional surrogates and gestational surrogates.

2. Gestational Surrogacy: Pregnancy where the surrogate is genetically unrelated to the baby. The embryos are created using the eggs from the intended mother or an egg donor and sperm from the intended father(s) or a sperm donor.

3. Traditional Surrogacy: Pregnancy where the surrogate is genetically related to the baby and becomes pregnant through artificial insemination. While it used to be common, most surrogacy arrangements today involve gestational surrogacy.

4. Intended Parent: Person or persons who become the legal parent of a child born through surrogacy.

5. Matching: A process in which a surrogate or egg donor is matched with intended parents. At our surrogacy, Shared Conception, our team works together to identify surrogates and intended parents who would be good matches based on legal requirements, personality compatibility and shared expectations.

6. In Vitro Fertilization (IVF): A process by which eggs are fertilized by sperm outside the womb in a controlled environment: either a test tube or Petri dish. The process is performed by a reproductive endocrinologist at an IVF clinic.

7. Frozen Embryo Transfer: A process that occurs when a frozen embryo (an already fertilized and frozen egg) is thawed and transferred into a surrogate.

8. Beta Testing: A blood test used to help indicate whether a woman is pregnant approximately 10 days after an embryo transfer. It measures levels of Estradiol, Progesterone, LH, and HCG (which indicate pregnancy).

9. Amniocentesis: A test used to detect any chromosomal problems through the examination of the cells in the amniotic fluid around the baby. This test is done between 15 and 20 weeks of pregnancy (usually around week 16).

10. Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS): A test performed between 10 and 12 weeks to look at cells in the placenta by inserting a thin flexible tube (catheter) into the uterus though the vagina or by inserting a needle through the belly into the uterus. Similar to an amniocentesis, a CVS procedure can be used to find chromosomal birth defects, such as Down syndrome.

11. Blastocyst or “Blast”: The last stage of development an embryo must reach before it is implanted in the uterine wall. About 40 percent of human embryos reach this stage of development in the IVF laboratory after five to six days of incubation.

12. Carrier Agreement/Surrogacy Contract: A legal contract between the surrogate and intended parents. The terms of the contract are negotiated by the parties through their legal representation. Once the contract is signed, the terms of the contract govern the parties’ interactions. It is very important for both the intended parents and the surrogate to read the contract carefully so that all conditions are understood.

13. Cycle Schedule: A timeline that lists important local monitoring appointment dates leading up to the transfer. This is usually created by an IVF clinic.

14. Egg Retrieval: The process by which eggs are removed from the egg donor for fertilization.

15. Pre-Birth Order: A court issued order that is acquired before the birth of the child. Typically, it will place the names on the birth certificate and allow you access to the child while he/she is in the hospital.

16. Post-Birth Order: A court issued order that is acquired after the birth of the child. Typically, it will replace the surrogate with the intended parents on the newborn’s birth certificate.

17. Egg Donor: A woman who donates eggs, or oocytes, for assisted reproduction via IVF.

Need further explanations or have questions? Call us here at Shared Conception. We can answer your questions and address any concerns.