why a previous pregnancy to become a surrogate

Now is a great time to apply

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Some of us have had a hard couple of weeks. It’s been scary. Worrying about getting sick, who is around us and our families, having enough food and supplies, is stressing us out. Not to mention not knowing whether or not we will have jobs depending on the industry. Money is going to be tight for all of us, and we would like to offer you a solution.

Shared Conception is a surrogacy agency that helps create families. And we can’t do this without you; our wonderful potential surrogates. The most important quality in a surrogate is her love for being pregnant. All of our surrogates share this similar quality. Many love being pregnant and the joy of surrogacy so much, that they have been a gestational carrier with Shared Conception two, three or even four times!

And yes! You get paid! Now is a great time for that much needed extra income. You and your family will benefit from this selfless act of kindness. You can earn up to $40,000 by helping create a family. It’s a win-win!

You can learn more about How to become a Surrogate in our blogs. Here are some frequently asked questions, answers and links with more information:

  1. How long does it take to become a surrogate with Shared Conception? Read more here. It will walk you through the beginning processes of surrogacy from the preliminary application (which you can fill out here), to the matching process and other required screenings.
  2. What other processes do I have to go through? A medical and psychological evaluation along with a background check is required as well. You can read more about it Don’t be concerned about small infractions such as speeding tickets. This won’t disqualify you from being a surrogate.
  3. What is the IVF medical process like? Read this blog to learn about the IVF transfer, and the protocols for pregnancy and delivery.

Shared Conception pledges wholeheartedly to support you throughout the entire pregnancy, and we will still be there afterwards! Our client coordinators will expertly act as a liaison between you and the intended parents. We will ensure that any sensitive or difficult subject matters are tactfully brought up and handled. We want you to be informed, fulfilled and satisfied knowing that you contributed to the world in a unique and precious way. Interested in becoming a surrogate? Give us a call today or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an information request form. We would love to hear from you.

 

 

Airplane Germs and how to disinfect

How to Disinfect Your Airplane Seat

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In recent light of the Coronavirus and all the media attention it is receiving, airplane travel while pregnant can cause a bit of a hesitation. Sometimes, air travel is a necessity. Since you’re pregnant and on high alert about your health, we can’t help but draw attention to this concerning and potential health hazard.  Studies have shown how germ-filled airplane seats, seat pockets, seat belts, tray tables and arm rests are. But those who are concerned, can take action with these small steps to make their assigned seats a little less contaminated.

With a few purchases at your local drugstore or through Amazon and a little bit of time to plan ahead, you can have the cleanest seat on the plane.

Disinfecting wipes and how to use them

As soon as you board, take out these wipes! By creating only a minor spectacle, you can wipe down all the hard, nonporous surfaces thoroughly. Remember, the surface has to stay visibly wet and saturated for a short amount of time to receive all of their benefits. There are directions on the package that will tell you the correct amount of time. This is when the wipes do their best germ-killing job. And, don’t forget about that seat belt buckle and arm rests!

Disinfecting the fabric seats

As for the upholstery, the wipes will not work. If you are concerned about that exposure to germs from the seat fabric, there are seat and table tray covers available on Amazon. Or, you can purchase covers for the head rest only. Most planes now have pleather seats, and those can be wiped down with the disinfecting wipe.

Hand Sanitizer

Clean running water and soap is not always readily available, or you just can’t access it because of that darn seat belt light. Having hand sanitizer in your travel bag is always a good idea. You can use it before you eat, after you use the bathroom, or any other time you come in contact with areas you suspect have germs. It will not work on hard surfaces like the tray table, that’s what the disinfecting wipes are for.

Seat pockets

The seat pockets have the highest concentration of germs alive. It’s also where we tend to stash our water bottles and snacks. We haven’t been able to find a disposable liner available for the pocket, so it’s best not to use them. Keep a leak proof water bottle (that you can fill up on the plane or before you board) in your bag for germ-free hydration.

Stay hydrated

An airplane’s cabin can dehydrate you. Depending on how long flight time is, you can easily get dehydrated. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids before your flight, during a long flight and post flight.

Flying isn’t always easy when pregnant. Always make sure to contact your doctor before embarking on any travel plans. Shared Conception pledges to support you throughout your journey and beyond! We ensure that any questions, sensitive or difficult subject matters can be easily handled by Shared Conception. We want our surrogates to be healthy, informed, fulfilled and satisfied knowing they contributed to the world in a unique way. Interested in surrogacy? Give us a call today for a no pressure conversation, or visit www.deliver-a-dream.comto fill out an application request form. We would love to hear from you.

 

 

 

 

picking the right practice as a surrogate

Practice Picking

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It’s common for a surrogate to receive medical care by her chosen obstetrician once she is released by the fertility center.  This is typically after the first trimester. In most cases, the surrogate returns to the same doctor used when she carried her own children. This is really nice for a surrogate because she already knows and trusts this practice. And again, in most cases, the intended parents want the surrogate mother to be comfortable in her prenatal care.

But there are some cases when surrogates cannot use the practice previously used. Perhaps it is because of a recent move to a different state or area, or maybe their OB has retired. If this happens, how do you decide which doctor to see?

At the start of my second surrogacy, my husband lost his job which meant that we did not have health insurance. I was 28 weeks pregnant and I could not return to the OB practice I had used for my first surrogacy. While my gestational agreement covered new insurance, I had to choose another plan separate from my family, and this complicated things. While searching for the best plan for my family, I had to look and see what plans would cover myself, the baby, while being able to remain at my current practice; which ended up being impossible.

Luckily, it all worked out. The second practice was fine. Unfortunately, I found out that I had to deliver at a different hospital. I was not thrilled about this new change because I had been looking forward to delivering at this new, state-of-the-art hospital. My husband, an ever-positive ray of sunshine, kept telling me he would find a job and we would be covered and able to go back to my previous OB in time for my delivery. I thought that was a far stretch. Strangely enough, it ended up working out that way, which was great for my husband. Of course, but I was doing somersaults (in my head), to be back with my previous OB and delivering at the swanky new hospital!

Since I still had to go through the process of finding a new doctor, mid-journey, I have some tips for you to think about when you are looking for a new or different practice as a surrogate:

  • Experience with gestational carriers
  • Compliance to include the intended parents in the prenatal visits and delivery
  • How the doctor handles c-sections, as I had to have one and our previous doctor was known for how well she handled them
  • Location! I wanted to deliver near my house. Since I knew I was going to be in the hospital for at least 3 days, I wanted my two young sons to be able to visit their mommy!
  • I didn’t want to have to go to different places for ultrasounds or bloodwork. It’s nice to have everything was done in the same building.

I was lucky. Everything ended up working out and my “in between” practice turned out to be just fine. My intended parents let me choose where I was most comfortable and Shared Conceptions helped me with the ever-confusing insurance process. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give Shared Conception a call today! We would love to hear from you!

how to become a surrogate

How long does it take to become a surrogate with Shared Conception?

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Part 1 – Application and Matching Process

Shared Conception works hard to simplify the surrogate process for all of our potential surrogates. Initially, it may seem complicated, but we will be with you every step of the way!  Here is a breakdown of the steps involved from start to finish in our 3 part “How to Become a Surrogate with Shared Conception” blog series!

The Surrogate Mother Process – Application and Evaluation

  • All of our surrogates begin by completing the Information Request form online, or calling Shared Conception (713-622-1144) to schedule an initial phone consultation. We will ask a few brief questions and then explain the surrogate process to you. This is also a good time to ask any questions. And we mean ANYTHING!
  • If we both decide to proceed, we will email you our application packet, which also requests a few pictures of yourself, so we can put a face to the name. The application will ask you about your medical history, psychological history and lifestyle. Complete the application thoroughly and honestly so that we can start the “getting to know you” process, thus matching you with the most appropriate intended parents.
  • If your application is reviewed and accepted, Shared Conception will contact you about your potential participation in Shared Conception’s Surrogacy Program. This is when the fun begins! We want to get to know you better including your preferences related to surrogacy and what your ideal match would be. We want you to have the opportunity to ask any and all questions you may have before you decide to join our program. If you are married, it is also helpful for your spouse to participate in these calls. His or her presence allows us to get to know you both; thus custom-matching you with the most appropriate intended parents.
  • If all goes well, and we are both on board, Shared Conception will present you with our Agency agreement which spells out both parties’ rights and responsibilities and gives us permission to present your profile to the best intended parents for you.
  • Next, we will start gathering medical records from your previous pregnancies. As this can take a while, it’s important that you provide us with your OBGYN and hospital info as soon as possible.
  • If you have medical insurance, we will ask that you send your insurance benefits information to us. The goal is to see if your health insurance policy has any surrogacy exclusions relating to pregnancy. Once you’re matched, we’ll have an insurance specialist review this as well. If you do not have insurance, we will assist you in finding a policy. The intended parents will be responsible for the premiums relating to this insurance policy.
  • While your insurance and medical records are being gathered, Shared Conception will simultaneously conduct a thorough criminal background check.

The Matching Process

Shared Conception’s objective is that the surrogate and intended parents interact in an extraordinarily comfortable environment and that both parties build a good rapport and partnership. With that said, we strive to pinpoint your core beliefs and innate desires that are in-line with the intended parents, so that you are mentally comfortable throughout the pregnancy.
Once Shared Conception accepts you into our surrogate mother program, we will expertly determine which couples to present to you based upon the criteria you expressed to us during the screening process and the preferences the couples have shared with us. This timeline could either be quick or it could take some time, as we are looking for someone whose needs, expectations and views are similar to yours.
If you are comfortable with the intended parents we present to you, we will immediately contact them and coordinate a three-way phone conversation between the intended parents, Surrogate and a member of the Shared Conception team. If all parties agree to move forward, then the next step is to arrange a face-to-face meeting (if logistically possible) so everyone can discuss the partnership and expectations.

Psychological Screening and Evaluation

Once this match meeting is successfully completed and all parties agree to work together, you and your husband or partner (if applicable) will be psychologically tested and evaluated by a licensed mental health professional experienced in fertility counseling. This step is recommended by The American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) and will ensure that you are well informed of the risks involved in a gestational arrangement, as well as the psychological, physical and mental aspects of the surrogacy process. All psychological screening and evaluation fees are paid for by the intended parents.

Stay tuned for part 2 and three of our “How to Become a Surrogate with Shared Conception” blog series. If you don’t want to wait and are interested in becoming a surrogate today, give us a call! You can also visit us online at: https://sharedconception.com/deliver-a-dream/to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you!

 

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Your Own OB

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One of the most common questions when inquiring about becoming a surrogate is, “Can I use my own Obstetrician?” The short answer is, yes. Initially, you’re in the care of the fertility doctor who did the IVF transfer. They like to watch over you for majority of the first trimester to make sure that the pregnancy is progressing nicely. Once you’re released from the fertility clinic, you can be cared for by your own obstetrician. This is a breath of fresh air for a surrogate. She is now in safe and familiar hands; many times hands that have delivered her own children. The fertility clinics have amazing doctors, but it’s like sleeping in a hotel.  You have a great time on vacation but there is nothing like getting back into your own bed!

This is why it is important to have a plan. In some cases, the clinics are farther away than your own obstetrician – so when you are ready to go to your own OB, an office close to home becomes more practical; especially at the end of your journey when you have to attend weekly appointments. And, if you cannot go to your previous, familiar and safe OB, find one! There are so many ways to go about this. One of the best methods to find a good doctor is referrals. Ask around or jump on to the very resourceful internet to find those local mom groups and neighborhood mom pages, and ask for a recommended doctor.

Whatever you decide to do, plan in advance. You avoid unnecessary stress when you have a plan. If you are a surrogate with Shared Conception, our full-service agency is with you every step of the way and can help you find a good OB if needed. If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, give us a call today!

 

 

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Building Self-Esteem in your Child

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It’s tough being a parent! We all strive to make our children become polite, kind, and honest individuals, but it’s not always easy. I have two young boys in elementary school and have noticed that I worry too much about what they don’t do rather than focusing on the good things they do. This doesn’t mean I don’t praise them when they do well. I am very proud of my two young men, but when it comes to this balance, I feel I have focused more on what they need to improve rather than the positive.

I have researched the topic of self-esteem endlessly this year. I have chatted with pediatricians, counselors and school teachers. Whether you have a teenager, toddler, or have just brought your baby home from the hospital, I think we can all take from this. Below are examples to build your child’s self-esteem.

 Don’t overpraise. There is such thing as a hollow praise. Overpraising can be damaging. Praise that doesn’t feel earned, doesn’t make your child feel better. For example, telling a child he or she did “so well” when they didn’t, will not ring true to them.

Praise effort. Avoid focusing on praising only when there’s positive results or just for their strong qualities (such as being athletic or smart).

 Be a positive role model. Your attitude and effort towards everyday tasks (like mowing the lawn, cooking, cleaning, etc.), sets an example. Your child learns to put effort and stay positive when doing their homework, cleaning up their room, or helping around the house.

 Ban negative criticism. The way we speak to our children effects how they feel about themselves. Harsh words (“You’re so lazy!”) can be harmful to their self-esteem. It can be challenging at times, but our kids need our patience.

 Focus on strengths. Pay attention to what your child does well and their interests. Make sure your child has an opportunity to focus on these strengths. Focus more on strengths than weaknesses to help kids feel good about themselves.

 Give your child responsibilities. Self-esteem grows when kids get to see that what they do really matters. Let them help out at home, volunteer, or do a favor for a sibling. Helping and kind acts build self-esteem and gives your kids a good feeling.

If you are struggling with fertility and want to talk to someone about finding a surrogate, call us today for a no pressure consultation. We would love to hear from you!

 

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5 Reasons to Embark on a Journey

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Surrogacy isn’t an avenue people take “just because”. Contrary to popular belief, most people don’t use a surrogate mother to carry their child because they don’t want to ruin their figure, interrupt their life or just don’t want to be pregnant. It’s much more emotional than that. Here are the top 5 reasons why people need surrogacy in their lives:

1.    Some women encounter uterine issues that prevent them from carrying a baby. Fibroids and uterine scarring can make it difficult to carry a pregnancy to term. Many women with these issues have faced multiple miscarriages. 

2.    Aside from uterine issues, there are other medical conditions that might mean surrogacy is the best or safest option for the intended Mother. Sometimes these medical conditions are diagnosed after a miscarriage. Heart or kidney issues have a negative impact on the ability to carry and can require medications that are unsafe for a fetus.

3.    Certain cancers may cause a woman to have a hysterectomy which in many cases can require the need to explore other family-planning option such as surrogacy. 

4.    If a woman has been pregnant before and experienced severe problems resulting from that pregnancy, she might choose surrogacy as a safer alternative for both herself and her baby. 

5.    A single individual or couple may choose surrogacy because of lifestyle or logistical limitations (LGBTQ couples, for example may require a surrogate in order to conceive). 

Regardless of the reason why someone needs a surrogate, what is most important is that they have choices in regards to how they will build their family.

If you are interested in surrogacy, give Shared Conception a call today. We would love to hear from you! 

 

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Gifts for your Surrogate – Do you have to buy them?

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Your surrogate is giving you and your family more than you can ask for. Our intended parents often ask us about gifts for their surrogate. Although gifts are not required, some feel the need to express their gratitude with small tokens of appreciation along the way. The hardest part is figuring out what to get her. When our parents are matched, Shared Conception shares the surrogate’s favorites list. This is a tool to help you get to know your surrogate and help aid in the gift giving search.

Here are some of the most frequent times during a journey, that are excellent opportunities to give a gift: the first time you meet face to face, at the 20-week ultrasound or anatomy scan, and at the birth of the baby. All are great moments to show your gratitude.

If you decide to give a gift to your surrogate at any point in the journey, here are some ideas from other Shared Conception parents we would like to share with you.

  •      Candles or bath sets in her favorite scent
  •      Gift certificate for a manicure or pedicure
  •      A “date night” for your surrogate and her significant other

Many intended parents buy gifts for the surrogate’s children. After all, they are a huge part of the journey as well. This could be something as simple as a board game or a stuffed animal. Many of our surrogates believe that involving their children in the journey is important – and it is nice to show your gratitude to them as well.

Post-birth gifts can be simple and very helpful for your surrogate. Having groceries delivered, meal services and gift cards to their favorite restaurants for take-out, are favorite post-birth gifts among our surrogates.

Surrogacy journeys foster a special bond unlike any that you will ever have. If you are interested in surrogacy or becoming a surrogate, give Shared Conception a call today.

 

 

 

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Packing List for Intended Parents

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When the baby arrives, it’s an exciting time, but also hectic. They baby can come earlier or later. Your hospital bag should be packed and ready to go at least two weeks before the due date to ensure you have everything you need for the hospital stay. Shared Conception has compiled a list of necessities to include in your hospital bag. We understand that there is a lot to think about when you are getting ready for baby, so to take the pressure off and follow our list of suggestions to prevent over or under packing.

 ID’s and documents

  • Driver’s License (or picture ID or passport), Insurance card, and any hospital paperwork –You might be able to pre-register the baby at the hospital. Contact the hospital’s registration desk or social worker for more info.
  • Copy of pre-birth order – The hospital should have this by now but it’s better to be safe and have a copy with you.
  • Copy of birth plan (if you have one) –We will work with you and your surrogate to establish a birth plan

Electronics 

  • Phone –Make a list of those who you wish to contact after the birth. You can even create a group text ahead of time to make it easier on you. Sometimes you can label the group text
  • Charger (and extension cord) –Often plugs are not as close as you would like, so bring a long charger, power bank, or extension cord.
  • Camera/Video Camera (batteries, charger, and memory card) –You will want to capture so many wonderful memories in these first few days!

Apparel

  • Comfortable clothes, socks, slippers, etc.- you might be at the hospital for a few days, so tale clothes to change into, sleep in, etc.
  • Light Jacket– Hospitals can be cold
  • Pillow & Blanket –The hospital will be able to provide these essentials, but having your own comforts help you relax more.
  • Eye mask and earplugs –To help you get some rest
  • Toiletries –The hospital will have the essentials like shampoo, soap, but you might prefer your own. Also, be sure to bring all your personal toiletries such as toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, hair brush, comb, face wash, lip balm
  • Medications –if you are on any daily medications
  • Button up shirt or Robe – If your birth plan is to do skin to skin after, this will help make this easier
  • Eyeglass, contact case, etc.

Miscellaneous

  • Cash –For cafeteria, vending machines, parking
  • Snacks –Take foods that help provide you with energy and provide a pick me up. Nuts, granola, fresh or dried fruits, crackers, chocolate, etc.
  • Entertainment –books, magazine, tablet, laptop. Reading or watching a show/movie will help you relax and fill in the down time.
  • Notepad/journal and pen/pencil– in case you need to jot down notes, questions or memories. Some choose to bring the baby book to start recording details right away

For Baby

  • Blanket, sleepers, hat, mittens, onesies for baby –the hospital will typically provide a swaddle blanket, onesie, hat, diapers, etc. However, you can also take your own if you’d like. Sleepers/gowns that open at the bottom or zip up are a good idea. During colder weather it is best to have a heavy blanket for the car seat
  • Going home outfit for baby –Consider the weather conditions. A Onesie or a simple two-piece outfit might be fine for warmer weather. In colder weather, you might need something warmer such as blankets, hats, etc.
  • Car seat –Have a rear facing car seat already installed ahead of time. Some local fire departments will inspect to ensure it is installed correctly. Learn how to work the car seat and buckle the baby in.

DO NOT TAKE:

Jewelry, valuables, lots of cash, diapers, wipes, bottles or formula.

Shared Conception wants our Intended parents to walk into the hospital without worry. After all, you are embarking on another wonderful and loving journey to bring your baby home. If you are interested in surrogacy to expand or create your family, give us a call today, we would love to speak with you!

 

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The Day Before IVF

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This is not an article about all the medications you take before IVF as a surrogate, or the doctor visits before IVF. This is about you and how you feel the day before the IVF procedure. On a personal note, I remember my first day before IVF, as I have had 2 wonderful journeys. I thought to myself, “Am I really doing this?”

Going through the entire process of becoming a surrogate is wonderful. You help create a family and give your intended parents the most wonderful gift anyone can receive. But, that doesn’t mean you will never be nervous about it. I wasn’t worried about becoming attached to the baby or having trouble leaving the hospital without one. I was just nervous about IVF. I thought to myself, what if it doesn’t work? What if something goes wrong? And my biggest fear was miscarrying. Because of my wonderful relationship with my IPs, I knew all about the heartache they endured when told they could not have children. I felt a huge weight on my shoulders.

But the truth is, you are doing the best you can for them. You do not have control over the embryo or even the outcome of the IVF process. And of course, we all want the best result; a pregnancy, a healthy journey, a healthy baby – and lots of happy tears. It’s all we can hope for because a pregnancy is never guaranteed. My advice to my surro sisters is to go in with a positive attitude, and try to keep one along the way. It’s called a “journey” because there are any bumps in the road but the end result makes it all worthwhile!

Written by Courtney Clinton – 2X Proud Gestational Surrogate