Why You Should Use a Surrogacy Agency

Posted by Shiva Landry on

Are you considering using a surrogate for your child? If you are, you have probably also thought about whether or not to use a surrogate agency. There are many pros to using a surrogacy agency during this journey.

There are several legal, medical, and procedural requirements that are involved with surrogacy. In the absence of an agency, all the paperwork, compliance, communication with the surrogate, medical information, and other essential requirements become the Intended Parents’ responsibility.

Having a baby, even through surrogacy, is a very emotionally intensive journey. Surrogacy agencies provide ongoing support for both the Intended Parents and the surrogate. Agencies also make sure that communication always remains open between both parties- this is especially important when IPs are trying to track the progress of the pregnancy.

Surrogate agencies also handle the complicated process of screening potential surrogate mothers. Here at Shared Conception, we know that the screening process is imperative and that a lot of thought and research must go into this process. We are not just a surrogate finder—we carefully choose individuals who are perfectly suited for our IPs. The surrogates associated with Shared Conception are unique, strong, caring, committed individuals who all feel compelled to fulfill their personal desire to help intended parents become moms and dads.

While going without an agency may seem to save you money in the short term, it can quickly become an expensive process if there are any issues. One benefit to having an agency is the expertise that is provided in many areas, including surrogacy law, psychological and emotional needs, conflict resolution, failed transfers, pregnancy complications, and other pregnancy issues.

With Shared Conception, our experienced and professional team helps create the best plan for your journey. We want everyone involved to have a positive experience. That is why we encourage all prospective surrogates and intended parents to contact Shared Conception to learn more about our processes. Give us a call or visit www.deliveradream.com to fill out an application request form! We would love to hear from you!

pet safety while pregnant

Pet Safety While Pregnant

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pet safety while pregnantOne common question is, is it ok to have pets while pregnant? The short answer is yes. But as with all things while pregnant, the important factor is safety—not just for yourself but for your pet.

In general, it is safe for pregnant women to be around dogs as long as their dog is healthy and current on their vaccinations. There are always some exceptions. Pregnant women should be careful around large dogs, dogs that are untrained and stray dogs.

Large dogs can jump and may accidentally knock you down or jump on your stomach. Untrained dogs tend to exhibit erratic behavior. If you currently own a dog that hasn’t received proper training and are pregnant or plan to be pregnant, consider signing your pup up for training classes. Stray dogs may have ticks or fleas that can lead to Lyme disease and other health issues.

Cats are another popular pet and are also generally safe to have while pregnant. You will need to watch out for bites, scratches, and ticks with cats. The most important thing to be careful with is dealing with your cat’s poop. Cat feces can contain the parasite that causes toxoplasmosis. It can enter your body just by touching infected poop and then touching your mouth. To lower your risk of getting toxoplasmosis or other illness from your cat, be sure to wash your hands often, try to arrange for someone else to clean and change the litter boxes, and if possible, have your vet test your cat in advance for toxoplasmosis.

Fish do not typically cause problems for pregnant women, but you should still take precautions such as always washing your hands after feeding your fish or coming in contact with their water and equipment. If no one else is available to clean their tank, be sure to wear gloves and thoroughly wash your hands afterward.

Other types of pets, such as reptiles and amphibians (lizards, snakes, frogs, turtles), can carry salmonella. While it won’t make your pet sick, it can make you sick. Salmonella is dangerous for pregnant women. The best way to minimize risks is to have someone else care for your pet and clean the cage while you’re pregnant. If you must touch your pet, wash your hands immediately afterward.

If you own horses, experts do not recommend horseback riding while pregnant, especially after the first trimester. Riding horses can lead to serious injury to your body or your belly if you are thrown off. While pregnant, you can still spend time with your horses, but as with other pets, be sure to wash your hands after feeding, petting, grooming, or cleaning the stall. And as always, consult with your doctor if you have any specific questions regarding pregnancy and pets.

introducing baby to pets

Introducing Your New Baby to Your Pets

Posted by Shiva Landry on

introducing baby to petsDogs, cats, and other pets can make great playmates for your baby. However, it’s essential to understand that the adjustment period for your pet may be a little difficult.

Prepare Your Pets

When you bring home your baby, there will be a lot of changes for your pet. Experts recommend making the transition as gradual as possible. One way is to start doing things around the home to prepare, such as decorating the nursery to allow your pet time to become accustomed to this room and the new smells. If you don’t want your pets to visit the nursery, putting up a baby gate still allows them to see and hear your baby without feeling isolated.

Even if you don’t plan to use a gate for your baby’s room but around other areas of your home– you may also want to get your dog used to the idea before the baby arrives and use them at regular intervals. Help them understand that gates are not a punishment by placing treats in the area you want them to stay in.

Plan in Advance for Pet Care

Having a newborn is an exciting new experience, but it’s also exhausting. Many new parents need extra help. It’s important to plan for pet care in advance. Having someone who can feed and care for your animals, especially if you’ll be traveling to bring your newborn home with you, can be a huge weight off your shoulders. You may even ask someone to walk the dog for you for the first few weeks of your baby’s life.

Continue to Make Time for Your Pets

It’s important not to neglect your pets when the baby comes.

If possible, you should adjust your schedule before you bring your baby home. If you gradually reduce the amount of time you spend with your pets, having the new baby won’t be such a drastic change for them. If you need to adjust their feeding schedule, it’s also best to do this ahead of time.

If your pet is used to spending more time with one of the partners, it may be a good idea to get them used to the other one now. This gives you more flexibility when one of you is busy with the baby. Either way, it’s good practice to make sure that someone spends at least 10 minutes of quality time with your pet every day. It may help you relax, and it will mean the world to your pet.

Introducing Your Baby to Your Pet

Introducing your new baby to pets is a lot like introducing your pets to another new pet. If possible, you should bring home something that smells like the baby and show it to your pet first. This could be a blanket or burp rag, or piece of clothing. Dogs are especially grateful for exploring new scents.

When you bring your baby home for the first time, someone else should hold the baby while you approach your pet for a warm welcome. Spend time with your pet, talk to them, pet them and give them some treats. If your dog gets too excited, it’s best to take the baby out of the room temporarily and help them calm down and try again. Then you can let your dog approach the baby and allow them to get to know each other. Of course, any interactions between your pet and your baby should never be forced, but they must always be supervised.

How to keep Your Baby Safe

While most dogs and cats are worthy of your trust, you cannot predict what will happen. Babies startle easily and make sudden movements that could seem scary to a pet. A pet could also accidentally hurt a baby by doing what they normally do with you, such as sitting on your lap. A dog may even want to carry a baby around, much like they would with a newborn pup. They don’t mean any harm, but it can put your baby at risk. For these reasons, you should ensure that all interactions between your pet and your baby are supervised. Otherwise, it’s best to ensure there’s a physical separation.

You should keep your pets from licking your baby’s face, since your newborn’s immune system is still weak. It’s important to keep your interactions with your pet positive and not to add new restrictions unless they’re necessary. For example, if your dog has always been allowed to sit on the couch, they should still be able to do so once the baby comes. Don’t forget to enjoy the friendship that is bound to form between your baby and your pets.

tax deductible

Are Surrogacy Expenses Tax Deductible?

Posted by Shiva Landry on

tax deductibleAs any parent knows, welcoming a baby into your life can be expensive. These costs are even higher when your parenthood is made possible through surrogacy. Intended Parents face a large range of expenses: agency fees, surrogate compensation and expenses, clinic fees, and legal costs.

Before embarking on your surrogacy journey, you should have a good understanding of what expenses are involved and what may or may not be tax-deductible. It’s also important to understand the tax laws that apply to your own state, as these vary between states.

Consulting with an accountant can be helpful as they will be able to explain more about taxation policies as they pertain to your own situation. Tax laws can change regularly, so what is true right now, may not be true in six months.

What surrogacy expenses are tax-deductible?

Surrogacy and donation expenses are mostly not tax-deductible. However, there are a few exceptions.

Under the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) of 2017*, some significant changes were made regarding the ability of Intended Parents to claim tax back on surrogacy expenses.

The changes to the deductibility of medical expenses have been a little tricky for some IPs who have created families through third-party reproduction (also known as assisted reproductive technology or ART). ART includes clinic fees for standard procedures involved in surrogacy, as well as hormone therapy and sperm donation. It also covers more advanced procedures, such as IVF and the use of egg donation.

In most cases, if medical expenses such as ART exceed a certain percentage of the parents’ Adjusted Gross Income (AGI), they can be deducted in the same year that expenses not reimbursed by healthcare insurance are paid. When applying for medical deductions, there may be instances in which you will need to exceed a certain limit.

AGI comprises all of an individual’s income before other deductions or decreases are made.

From 2019 through 2025, qualifying medical expenses are only deductible to the extent they exceed 10% of AGI.

The good news is that most forms of ART are deductible under the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act.

The following surrogacy expenses are generally deductible:

  • Any medical fees directly involving you and/or your spouse
  • Egg retrieval
  • Sperm donation
  • Sperm freezing
  • IVF-related fees

Unfortunately though, surrogacy is not. This is because the expenses incurred in using a surrogate are not for medical procedures performed on the bodies of Intended Parents (the taxpayers). Instead, surrogacy requires the participation of a third party.

Non-deductible surrogacy expenses include:

  • Compensation for your surrogate
  • The surrogate’s medical bills
  • The surrogate’s medical insurance
  • Any costs for procedures or tests not directly attributed to you or your spouse

Other avenues for obtaining surrogacy tax deductions

There are cases in which Intended Parents may obtain a Private Letter Ruling (PLR) from The Internal Revenue Service (IRS)*. The purpose of a PLR is to get permission from the IRS to deduct specific expenses that are not made clear by law. If you are successful in getting a private ruling awarded in your favor as Intended Parents, the entire process including the surrogacy agency fees could be tax-deductible.

Obtaining a PLR would involve the Intended Parents engaging with a CPA to write a letter to the IRS requesting permission to deduct the expenses. The letter should encompass all the expenses that are likely to be involved in their surrogacy journey. It should detail why the parents are incapable of having children (due to a structure or function of the body) and that their situation may qualify as medical care under section 213. The IRS would then respond with its decision. If the PLR is ruled in their favor, the Intended Parent would be provided a letter to attach to their tax return.

How do you obtain a Private Letter Ruling (PLR)?

To obtain a PLR, the taxpayer must be able to show that they have been tested and confirmed as infertile. It is important to note that the PLR process is neither quick nor simple. Once you’ve submitted your documentation, the ruling may take 3 to 6 months to finalize.

Interested in Surrogacy?

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

*Resources:

  1. https://www.taxpolicycenter.org/briefing-book/how-did-tcja-change-taxes-families-children
  2. https://www.irs.gov/tax-exempt-bonds/teb-private-letter-ruling-some-basic-concepts
frequently asked questions from intended parents

Intended Parents FAQs

Posted by Shiva Landry on with 1 Comment

frequently asked questions from intended parentsWhen Intended Parents start exploring the option of surrogacy, many questions run through their minds. It can definitely be a confusing process—how to choose a surrogacy agency, how do you get matched with a surrogate, how to get started, etc. In this blog, we try to cover some of the most frequently asked questions.


What is the difference between being a gestational surrogate and a traditional surrogate?

With no genetic link to the baby she is carrying, a gestational surrogate is simply the carrier of the fetus. The intended mother or egg donor provides the egg, and the intended father or sperm donor provides the sperm. The gestational surrogate has absolutely NO biological connection to the child.

A traditional surrogate is where the surrogate uses her own biological eggs. As there are numerous emotional and legal aspects of traditional surrogacy, Shared Conception does not handle traditional surrogacy agreements and exclusively offers gestational surrogacy where the eggs of the surrogate mother are never used.

How do you match couples and surrogates?

The information gathered from our initial meeting, and your application is vital to the matching process. After professionally reviewing your needs and circumstances, we immediately start the matching process and will find the ideal surrogate for you. The process of finding the right surrogate mother can be quick or it could take some time, as we are looking for someone whose needs, expectations and views are similar to yours.

Once we have a possible match, we will contact the surrogate and you. If both parties are interested in moving forward, Shared Conception will arrange a conference call between you, the potential surrogate, and a member of the Shared Conception team. If everyone is in agreement, a video will occur, and you and the surrogate-to-be can start building rapport and determine if you want to journey through this surrogate process with each other. A Shared Conception representative will always attend this introductory meeting.

What is our first step in retaining your agency?

We look forward to hearing from you! Simply call or email us. We will promptly contact you so that we can get started on your journey to parenthood!

How much contact will we have with our surrogate throughout the process and after the birth?

The amount of contact between you, the intended parent, and your surrogate is completely based on both of your comfort levels. The majority of surrogates want to develop a comfortable rapport with the intended parents because they realize that these soon-to-be parents want to be a part of the pregnancy.

Shared Conception understands the sensitivity of the overall situation. We will be sure to take both sides’ thoughts, feelings, and wishes into consideration BEFORE making a match.

When do I pay the Surrogate?

After Shared Conception custom matches you with a surrogate and all legal paperwork has been prepared and approved, you will deposit monies into an escrow account managed by an independently-owned escrow agency. These funds will be used to pay for mutually agreed-upon fees including the surrogate’s compensation, medical premiums, travel expenses, etc. Payments typically begin the month following the confirmation of pregnancy.

What happens if my surrogate wants to keep the baby?

It’s important to remember that all parties are psychologically screened and that legal contracts are created to protect everyone’s interest BEFORE we start the surrogacy process. Based on our research, most surrogates want to ensure that YOU, the intended parent, are committed to moving forward as they are not interested in having any more, kids-especially one that is not theirs.

 

For more FAQs asked by our intended parents, visit our Surrogacy FAQ page here.

Interested in Surrogacy?

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

 

 

emotional attachment

Do Surrogate Mothers Become Attached to the Baby?

Posted by Shiva Landry on

emotional attachmentWe are sure that many women think about attachment before deciding to become a surrogate. It’s reasonable to believe that if you become attached to your own children during pregnancy, you would be attached to the child you are carrying for the Intended Parents.

This is also often a common concern for the Intended Parents, so we wanted to address this question and explain what happens between the baby, the surrogate, and the intended parents.

It would appear to be obvious that a surrogate mother would become attached to the child that she carried for months and gave birth to. But for many surrogate mothers, this does not take away from the ultimate purpose—providing Intended Parents with a baby to start their own family. Many surrogates recognize what they are doing as a job and do not in fact, become emotionally attached.

It’s also important to remember that the surrogate has no biological link to the baby. The lack of this biological connection between the surrogate and the baby plays a large role in how surrogate mothers prepare themselves for this moment, knowing that this baby is not related to them. ‘

Women who become surrogate mothers do so because they want to help someone else have a baby and experience the joy of parenthood. They look forward to giving the baby to the intended parents and witnessing the emotions and happiness of the intended parents as they meet their baby for the very first time.

At Shared Conception, all surrogate mother applicants undergo a full psychological evaluation and clearance process and must also complete a comprehensive application that includes medical and psychological questions. In addition, they must have their own children and be in a happy, stable living environment and have the full support of their spouse or partner if they are in a relationship or marriage. These requirements ensure that the surrogate mother is less likely to have attachment issues or postpartum depression once the baby has been born.

For many surrogates, to help overcome any emotions they may still have after giving birth, they often make plans with their own family to take a trip or do something special so they can all refocus and adjust to post-pregnancy life.

So what about the baby itself? Sometimes Intended Parents wonder how being born via surrogacy will affect their connection with the baby. Taking an active role in preparation for the baby will help with the emotional transfer after birth. Intended parents and the surrogate should discuss in advance how the baby’s first moments will be.

There have been many studies conducted on children born via surrogacy, and most conclude that “children born through surrogacy experience no long-term emotional or psychological harm in regards to being born via surrogacy. Likewise, most parents and babies “experience healthy attachment around the time of birth and beyond”.

Interested in Surrogacy?

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

reasons to be a surrogate

Top Reasons to Become a Surrogate

Posted by Shiva Landry on with 0 Comment

reasons to be a surrogateWhen deciding if surrogacy is the right option for you, naturally, you will want to weigh out the pros and cons. We have made your decision process a little bit easier by listing our top ten reasons to become a surrogate.

We will count down from ten to our number one reason!

Number 10: your last pregnancy was a breeze. One of the requirements to be a surrogate mother is to have had a previous successful pregnancy.

Number 9: Helping intended parents become parents is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give.

Number 8: You get to enjoy all the beautiful parts about being pregnant while getting to skip the changing diapers, potty training, and sleepless nights!

Number 7: Remember those personality tests we all used to take? If you were often classified as a giver—being a surrogate mother is a great way to give.

Number 6: Being a surrogate mother pays you to give the gift of life

Number 5: When pregnant, you have all the justification you need to eat your favorite weird food combos!

Number 4: You find modern medicine to be interesting.

Number 3: You hate infertility and the pain it causes those wishing to start their own families.

Number 2: Maternity clothes are always super comfortable.

Number 1: Babies are an absolute blessing to those who cannot have them on their own.

While we do list some great reasons to become a surrogate, we truly understand being a surrogate mother is a very personal choice that is made for varied and numerous reasons. One thing for certain is the joy that you will bring to an intended family should you choose to be a surrogate mother will validate whatever your reasons may be.

If you have questions about becoming a surrogate mother, please visit our Surrogate Mother FAQs page. If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

surrogacy in the workplace

Surrogacy in the Workplace

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surrogacy in the workplaceBeing pregnant in the workplace under normal circumstances can be challenging, but telling coworkers about your surrogacy can also be stressful. It is not easy to hide your growing belly. While conversations involving your pregnancy may seem overwhelming, you can decide when and how to explain your situation.

You will want to explain your situation to your boss so they can prepare for any time you may need off for doctor visits and the baby’s birth. If your coworkers are unfamiliar with the surrogacy process, take this opportunity to educate others on the benefits and process of the incredible and thoughtful journey you are embarking on.

Having the positive support of your fellow coworkers is never a bad thing and can make going to work less stressful. You will not have to worry about making excuses during your absences for things like the beforementioned doctor’s visits, the birth, and during your recovery.

If you are not close to your coworkers and don’t feel comfortable sharing the news with them right away, that is absolutely ok too! You have plenty of time to tell them when you think the time is right. Deciding when and how to tell your coworkers is a personal decision and should be done on your own timeline. As a reminder, you are not required to tell your boss the reason you are missing work for medically related absences.

Many surrogate mothers wait until a positive pregnancy test or even until the end of the first trimester to make any kind of announcement. Open communication is not the most comfortable option for everyone; however, it is the easiest way to ensure a stress-free work environment that allows your coworkers the opportunity to ask questions and grasp an understanding of your important surrogacy journey. And having less stress is always a win when you are pregnant.

Interested in Surrogacy?

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

intended parents

Holiday Tips for Those Wanting to Start Their Own Families

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intended parentsAt Shared Conception, we know the holidays can be extra rough when you are trying to start your own family. Every holiday commercial shows happy families celebrating, and that can be especially hard to watch.

Of course, every family member, friend, and co-worker will have advice that they will want to share with you, which, even though they mean no harm, can really bum you out.

Unfortunately, not everyone understands the sensitivity of the matter. They will tell you stories of others who just had a baby and ask if you have tried this method or that method to get pregnant. While difficult, it’s important to let others know when they are upsetting you. Let them know what topics are ok to talk to you about.

Here are some tips that can help you get through the current Christmas season:

  1. Again, set those boundaries, so others know what you feel comfortable discussing.
  2. Laughter is great for the soul—do you have any funny holiday photos or memories? Maybe pictures from when you were a kid. We all know how much everyone loves to see those embarrassing family photos, so share them on social media with your friends so you can all share a laugh. Hopefully, it will encourage them to share some of theirs too!
  3. Do fun holiday things to keep your mind off being a bah humbug! Drive around neighborhoods, look at all the amazing Christmas lights, and see a play such as the Nutcracker. Think about past holiday traditions you had growing up and relive some of those now that you are older. This could include anything from attending church and meeting with friends and family (the ones who won’t give you that unsolicited advice!).
  4. Treat yourself to massages, pedicures, and going out to a nice restaurant; whatever helps make you feel at peace. For some, this is working out, while for others, it’s just taking a nice walk alone—whatever it may be, it’s ok to indulge every now and then.
  5. Find ways for you and your partner to be good to each other during the holiday season. It’s not uncommon for couples to take out their frustrations on each other, especially with the added stress of the holiday, so stay connected. Do things together, such as a couples massage.
  6. Don’t be afraid to say no to party invitations. There’s no reason to overcommit, overspend or overcompensate!
  7. Know that being infertile isn’t a cruel life sentence. There are many options available, surrogacy being one of them.

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.

surrogacy during the holiday party season

Surrogacy during the Holiday Party Season

Posted by Shiva Landry on with 0 Comment

surrogacy during the holiday party seasonWith Christmas and New Years’ Eve approaching, there will be a lot of party invites from friends, family, and even work. Holidays always pose a challenge when you are a surrogate mother having a baby for excited Intended Parents. Here are a few minor adjustments you can make before attending holiday parties that will help you and the baby.

Order Mocktails

Just because you are pregnant does not mean you can’t enjoy yourself. While your drink options are a little more limited, there are lots of tasty and fun mocktails that will make for great substitutes for alcoholic drinks. Some examples include ciders (non-alcoholic, of course!), a cranberry spritzer, or a virgin of your usual favorites. You can always ask the party’s bartender for their recommendations.

Balanced Eating

We know holiday buffets can be very tempting. While at an event with a buffet, try to continue to eat well by balancing savory treats with healthy options. Don’t be afraid to turn food offers down as well—just because someone insists you take seconds doesn’t mean you have to.

Don’t Skip Meals

While balanced eating is important, it’s equally as important to not skip any meals. The baby needs regular feedings around the clock.

Get Plenty of Rest

Don’t overdo it. It’s easy to say yes to every holiday event, but it’s also important to give your body time to rest. Most doctors recommend that pregnant women get between 8 and 10 hours of sleep per night. Lack of rest can lead to many health risks, including an increased risk of miscarriage.

Be Merry

Remember—you are giving the greatest possible gift to the Intended Parents. Once you’ve delivered the baby, you will be able to toast with real champagne and eat everything in sight (or not!). In the meantime, party like a pregnant rock star and enjoy the journey of being a fantastic surrogate.

Interested in Surrogacy?

If you are interested in learning more about surrogacy options or are interested in becoming a surrogate mother, please contact us at 713-622-1144, and we will be here to help you with any questions.