The decision to help another person create a family by serving as a gestational surrogate is a generous one and involves complex emotions on all sides. But it also involves medical realities that women considering surrogacy need to know about.

As you work with our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, you’ll certainly learn a great deal more about the medical surrogacy process, but in the meantime, we have compiled a few topics for your information. Keep in mind, particularly when it comes to the medical aspects of surrogacy, there is no 100% “typical” case.

Firstly, the  gestational surrogate mother’s eggs are not used. The eggs, or oocytes, come from either the intended mother or a third-party egg donor. This is why we call it “gestational surrogacy,” not “traditional surrogacy.”

At the fertility center, you’ll most likely be asked to have a vaginal ultrasound that allows the physician to examine your uterus. You may also be asked to have a hysteroscopy — in which a tiny camera painlessly examines your uterus — or other procedure to determine the general health of your uterus. Routine blood tests will also  be given to rule out the presence of communicable diseases such as AIDS, herpes, and hepatitis. You will be asked to provide an up-to-date pap smear, and might be requested to have a mammogram done.

Timing is crucial in any embryo transfer. As a surrogate, you will be given several medications to help prepare your uterus to receive the embryo. These medications may include standard birth control pills (at the beginning of your menstrual cycle). You will be started on estrogen at about the time the intended mother or the egg donor is being induced to ovulate if the embryo transfer cycle is a coordinated or “fresh,” one. Then, just before her eggs are harvested, you will begin another hormone, progesterone, to further prepare for implantation. Normally, you will be required to continue to take hormones, usually by injection, even if the embryo transfer is what we call a “frozen” cycle, where the embryos have already been created and are frozen for future use by the intended parents. Remember, this is meant to be general guidance here, and is not meant in any way to be giving medical advice or instruction.

In Vitro Fertilization, or IVF, is handled by a certified fertility center. Hormones are given to the intended mother or the egg donor to induce ovulation, and her eggs are harvested via aspiration guided by vaginal ultrasound. Then, from 50,000 to one million sperm are mixed with the eggs and incubated, so that fertilization can occur. When the timing is right, the resulting embryos are transferred into your uterus, as the gestational surrogate. Fertility centers vary somewhat in terms of the tests they require and the procedures they employ — this is all simply general background information, not specific medical advice or recommendations.

Transferring the embryos to the surrogate.
When transferring the embryos to the surrogate, the physician carefully flushes the embryos in the liquid medium in which they have been growing through your cervix and into your uterus. Sometimes, the doctor will use ultrasound to help with placement of embryos, and afterward you may be asked to remain lying-down for a period of time.

Approximately two weeks after the embryo has been transferred to the surrogate’s uterus, a simple blood test will be performed to confirm pregnancy  at which point both estrogen and progesterone medication may be continued. (In fact, medication will likely have continued from the time of embryo transfer, and may still continue even after positive blood test, until confirmation of pregnancy by ultrasound).

Here at Shared Conception, we have close relationships with numerous OB/GYNs and reproductive endocrinologists. While the intended parent may choose the reproductive endocrinologist, you will be able to choose your own OB, particularly if you already have one that you have a relationship with. The same applies to the hospital selected for delivery. What is  important is that a medically sound pregnancy occurs and that we ensure a good outcome both for you, the surrogate, and the intended parents. Working together, with the best medical care and technology, Shared Conception will help achieve these goals. Give us a call!

Many gestational surrogates find the experience so rewarding that they are willing to do it more than once. If age and health conditions permit, a second surrogacy can be a wonderful experience. In some cases, the surrogate even acts as a surrogate for the same intended parents, helping them to expand their family.

As surrogates have their own families to take care of, it would be beneficial to evaluate the impact of another pregnancy on your partner and children. Shared Conception does everything it can to make the experience for surrogates and intended parents go as smoothly as possibly, and promises the same caring and attentive treatment the second time around.

Sometimes, the intended parents might choose another surrogate for a second child. The surrogate-intended parent relationship is a strong one, where many surrogates remain close to the intended parents and their families after. While it can feel a little disappointing if the intended parents choose another surrogate, do not forget that you have just given them the gift of life and they’re extremely thankful.

It is good to manage expectations while also keeping lines of communication open. Shared Conception has found that the best surrogacy relationships have trust, communication, appropriate boundaries and flexibility. Because the surrogacy process lasts over a year, it is important to remain flexible in your expectations and understanding of your needs, as well as those of the intended parents during this journey.

As in any relationship, it is healthy to maintain boundaries. The main goal of the surrogacy relationship is to help the intended parents’ family. You may indeed become friends or even a part of the family, developing a wonderful relationship over time! Shared Conception recommendation: take it slow, be warm and authentic and have good boundaries.

You are starting a wonderful journey together—again. Enjoy!

Some of our best surrogates come to us as strong willed single women. These women are single mothers and have a steadfast desire to help others create a family. They are independent, hardworking, and immensely appreciative of family bonds.

A single surrogate is defined as one who is not currently living with or sexually active with any other adult. Those involved in dating situations or other sexually active relationships are still considered “partnered” surrogates even if they are unmarried.

The screening process for a single surrogate differs from that of a partnered surrogate. A single surrogate will attend both screening and match meeting on her own. Shared Conception will contact the person she identifies as her primary support to ensure that they’re able to provide the support the surrogate will need.

We also understand that life happens. While you may be single during your screening and the early stages of your journey, it is entirely possible that you’ll meet someone during your journey.

Dating is allowed during the course of your journey, but you will want to make certain that suitors understand just how important your journey is to you, and that this journey could have implications on your developing relationship.

Shared Conception is happy to talk with you about any potential relationships and ways to discuss your situation with a potential love interest.

Many of our single surrogates tell us that, in certain ways, going the journey alone can feel freeing. Without having a significant other around the house, they tell us they feel able to take time off of housework to just enjoy the pregnancy.

If you’re a single woman considering surrogacy we understand that you may have a great deal of questions. Shared Conception is able to help you navigate this incredible decision and help answer any additional questions you may have. Call us.

The reasons a woman chooses to become a surrogate can be endless. Chances are, if you’re considering making this life changing choice, you’ve already compiled a list of reasons and benefits. Even so, here are nine more benefits to consider; one for each month you’ll be carrying a child.

1. Giving Life. Surrogates are given the chance to give a gift that no one else can. Intended parents turn to surrogacy because they need help conceiving a child. You’ll be chosen to help that couple become a family. You’re the one person who can turn an only child into a brother or a sister. It’s a selfless gift unlike any other, and the sense of accomplishment is a benefit all its own.

2. Financial. Yes, you get paid. While our surrogates agree that financial compensation is not the only reason they choose to become a surrogate, it is indeed a benefit worthy of consideration. Many women use the compensation to put a down payment on a new house, buy a new car, send themselves back to school, or pay off college loans. Others use the funds as the nest egg that allows them to open their own business or even stop working in order to stay at home with their own children.

3. One More Time. Our surrogates tell us they love being pregnant. If you’re like them, you had uncomplicated pregnancies and loved every minute. Even so, your own family might be complete. Becoming a surrogate gives you the benefit of being pregnant one more time.

4. Be a Role Model. Choosing to be a surrogate makes you a stand out figure, not only in your home but also in your community. Earning the respect of your own children and of your peers is indeed a benefit.

5. Global Perspective. Becoming a surrogate will open eyes, both your own and those of people around you. Choosing to walk this road will give you the benefit of perspective. The ability to see life from walks of life very different to your own can be humbling and empowering at the same time.

6. Self Confidence. On delivery day, in the 12th hour, when you hurt and when you just want to go to sleep, something amazing happens. You give birth to a child with no relation to you. You make a family. You change the world. In this moment, your self-confidence soars to heights you never knew possible. You swell with pride and receive a benefit you cannot comprehend until you’ve lived it.

7. A Different Kind of Family. Many intended parents seek to have an emotional bond with their surrogate. Quite a few surrogates report having long lasting bonds with the families they help create. Think of it as an extended family that you get to choose.

8. Health Care. From the moment you become a surrogate you receive access to healthcare. Either through a surrogacy specific plan or your own current health care plan, you will have access to pregnancy related health care at no cost to you.

9. Community. Becoming a Shared Conception surrogate gives you a VIP pass to join the ranks of many other like-minded women. We are a family-oriented and community-minded surrogacy agency.

Whatever reasons you have that have brought you to consider becoming a surrogate, know that you’re already an extraordinary woman. We look forward to having you complete our online initial application and speaking with you about the many tangible and intangible benefits of choosing to become a surrogate. Shared Conception looks forward to hearing from you this new year! Make it an unforgettable 2016!

Would you carry a stranger’s baby? How about your sister’s? Over the last few years, surrogacy has entered our pop culture zeitgeist with celebrities using surrogates to complete their families. But surrogacy remains one of the least talked about tools in the fight against infertility. Why do surrogates do what they do? What do they get out of it? And how hard is it to give a child to its parents after having it in your womb for 9 months? On Christmas Day, here are three women’s stories about their experience with surrogacy. Happy holidays from Shared Conception!
****************************************************************
The hardest part was shouldering the burden of infertility.” – Kymberli Barney, 33, Hinesville, Georgia, married with girl/boy twins, 10, an 8-year-old boy and a 4-year-old daughter

“My husband and I initially had trouble conceiving. Once the problem was figured out I got pregnant easily – and surrogacy was a way of paying it forward because as far as infertility we got off easy. Even as a child, I was fascinated by childbirth and thought about being an obstetrician. I always wanted to be pregnant, and it hurt when it didn’t come easily for me.

When I delivered the baby by surrogate, that was magical. But it wasn’t just one moment. There was the first time my intended mom put her hand on my belly and felt her son move and that look in her eyes. And then the moment of the delivery, when the intended father laid eyes on his son for the first time. I felt like I had really done something that mattered for someone else.”
*******************************************************************
“Some people do it for the money…but for me it’s also about the activism.” – Kelly Rummelhart, 36, Gridley, California, married, 9-year-old girl and 7 and 4-year-old boys

I remember in high school I had a friend that was gay and I wondered how he would have a baby. At the same time, a straight couple on “Days of Our Lives” had a baby by surrogate. I thought that was amazing, and I wanted to do that for someone. Then once I had my own kids, I thought how happy I was having my kids and couldn’t imagine what it would be like for someone who couldn’t have babies.

I also knew I wanted to work with a gay couple. Some people do it for the money, or they always wanted to do it, but for me it’s also about the activism. I don’t have a million dollars to donate to specific causes, but I do have a working uterus. I’ve delivered two sets of twins for two gay couples. When others have found out that my couples were gay they haven’t really said anything to my face, but I’m sure there is talk behind my back.

[My first couple] lived only three hours away and wanted me to be a part of their lives, so we see the girls every 8-12 weeks. I remember when I was in the delivery room the first time, and the twins met their Grandma, and she was bawling and hugging me … I was like omigosh. It is so utterly amazing and life altering. It is like being on a drug. Who wouldn’t want to do that again? When my surrogacy agency asked me if I would do this again I said yes. I asked my husband and he said do whatever you want to do. You need [your family’s] support.

The way that I explain it to people is for nine months I’m babysitting. I wouldn’t rub my baby and talk to it the same way. So with my second couple, who didn’t live as close, I would play belly buds and put them on my belly. I had the guys record their favorite songs and play it for their babies. For me, I don’t think there are any worst parts. I had really easy pregnancies!”
******************************************************************
“Giving something is as important as receiving something.” – Natasha Skinner, 37, Annapolis, Maryland, married, 14-year-old son and 11-, 8-, 5- and 2-year-old daughters

I was a surrogate for my sister-in-law, my husband’s brother’s wife. She has cystic fibrosis so she could not carry a child, but they could genetically create a healthy baby with her egg and his sperm.

It was important for my husband that we had family support, especially if I wasn’t feeling well. We already had five kids so if that meant making a meal or driving a kid somewhere, other family members stepped in. My mother-in-law helped tremendously. And my sister-in-law’s family helped, mostly by providing meals or by watching the kids when I went to the grocery store to get food.

The hardest part was the shots. Nobody ever really talks about that. That was a daily thing, twice a day, and they were painful. Also, just not feeling great was hard. With my own pregnancies I felt fine after 13 weeks, but for this one, it was 19 weeks. However, I would do it again if I were younger. But I probably wouldn’t do it for someone who wasn’t a family member. Fortunately for me, it’s my nephew – I can see him and I know how he is doing.

Really the best part was at the end when they received their baby, just to see the joy and happiness. When John and Kelly came in, I thought she was going to faint. You could just see that they were elated. It was very special, and it absolutely brought us closer. Giving something is as important as receiving something.”

Telling your boss that you’re pregnant can be stressful. When the baby you’ll be carrying isn’t your own, telling the boss your big news can seem overwhelming. Depending on your relationship with your boss and the workplace atmosphere, you’ll first need to decide if you’re an early sharer or a late sharer.

If you have an open relationship with your boss and you don’t feel as though the news would be ill received or put you in jeopardy, then sharing news of your surrogacy hopes early may be beneficial. Early sharing inspires open communications and trust while allowing you to be honest with your boss over the upcoming absences you’ll be taking for the transfer and monitoring appointments. Your boss will also be clued in to any tiredness or moodiness that tends to come with early pregnancy.

Many women do not feel comfortable sharing their goals until much later in the process. Some wait until a positive pregnancy test and others wait until the end of the first trimester. Delayed sharing allows you to keep their secret a bit longer in the sad possibility of an early miscarriage. Some women also feel as though their bosses would not authorize time away from work for these important medical procedures. If this is your situation, feel confident knowing you are not required to tell your boss why you’re missing work for medically related absences.

Whenever you choose to tell your boss about your surrogate pregnancy, it is probably best to schedule a time for the conversation in advance. A good call would be a time when this can be a one on one discussion without many distractions. A lunch break or other time when you’re off the clock is probably best.

Be sure to ensure your boss of any intentions you have for time off following the birth and, if you intend to return to work following the birth, ensuring your boss of this intention can help create calm. Finally, ask if he/she has any questions. Giving your boss the opportunity to ask questions about the process and what it means to your job performance is important. Call us at Shared Conception, we are effective, efficient and promise to share lots of successful tips and advice!

Becoming pregnant is a big deal. When pregnancy is achieved through surrogacy it can be an even bigger deal. Despite your unique conception story, you now get to make the first tough decision of the pregnancy; when to tell your friends that someone else is carrying your child! Here’s a look at when many intended parents choose to share their good news.

Early Reporters
Some intended parents feel that sharing the news of a positive pregnancy test early on allows friends and family to share in that initial excitement that they’re experiencing. It can be hard to keep such happy news a secret, especially when the road to pregnancy for most parents via surrogacy has been such a long one. Sharing your news early also entitles you to support early on and perhaps even a bit of empathy over those new emotions and stresses that may be taking a toll on your life already.

Close of the First Trimester
Another common time to share news is at the close of the first trimester. Many intended parents wait until the 12th week of pregnancy as the rate of miscarriage drops dramatically from this point on. Parents in this category generally feel as though withholding the news of a pregnancy until it appears to be very viable enables them a safety net in the unfortunate event of a first trimester miscarriage. Additionally, many parents to be wait until late first trimester genetic tests have been done to share their news. This option allows for some time to keep the news just between yourself and sharing your news with friends and family.

Late Bloomers
Finally, some parents choose to wait to share the news of their pregnancy until late in the third trimester, or even until after the birth. This choice is generally made by parents who are not wanting to face criticism or unsolicited advice during the pregnancy process. A late reveal is an option uniquely available to parents of surrogacy, as a third trimester belly is very hard to hide!

What is important to remember is that there is no singular “right” time for sharing your big news. The right time for one parent may not be ideal at all for another. This announcement is just the first of many new decisions that you’ll need to make from the heart. Let Shared Conception play an integral role in building your family.