Around 10 percent of couples are affected by infertility, in addition to gay couples- many of whom would like to build families. Surrogacy has become one of the most viable options for couples who cannot conceive. Even though it is far more common today than it was 20 years ago, surrogacy is still new to the world in a lot of ways.

Most of the negative stories we hear in the media are the one in 10,000 stories, which overshadow the thousands of babies who are being born into beautiful, loving families due to the generosity of surrogates from several different states. Not to mention, those sensationalized stories often leave out pertinent facts to give readers proper context.

That’s why when a celebrity like Elizabeth Banks–who you probably know from the Hunger Gamesseries, 30 Rock, Modern Family and Wet Hot American Summer–speaks out about surrogacy, it’s a powerful gesture to the kids born via surrogacy, parents via surrogacy and surrogates.

Elizabeth Banks and husband Max Handelman have welcomed both sons–Felix and Magnus–via a surrogate mother.

“This experience has exceeded all expectations, taught us a great deal about generosity and gratitude, and established a relationship that will last a lifetime. I am also so very thankful to our family and friends for their support throughout this process,” she said.

“It was a womb issue for me. Embryos wouldn’t implant,” she said regarding her infertility issues. “It’s a big leap, inviting this person into your life to do this amazing, important thing for you. And it’s hard losing that kind of control. But our surrogate is so extraordinary, and she’s still in our lives. She’s like an auntie.”

That’s great to hear. Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, applauds Elizabeth Banks, for speaking candidly about her experience. I hope she knows how much it means to us.

These Goop.com tips come from pain expert Vicky Vlachonis, author of The Body Doesn’t Lie.

Vicky suggests that one aspect of pregnancy is relinquishing control and trusting that your body knows what it is doing. That said, her suggestions are practical and help to reduce a variety of discomforts.

#1 No lower back massages.

Many pregnant women experience lower back pain. This area of the body is rich with nerve and blood supply to the ovaries and uterus, as such, it’s better left alone until after pregnancy.

As an alternative, ask your partner or massage therapist to focus on your gluteus (your butt muscles). When you massage and release tension in this important muscle group, you alleviate pain in your lower back and hips because often tightness in your larger muscles are the source of the strain. Sleeping on your side with a pillow between your knees, also takes pressure off your low back.

#2 Almond oil and figure 8’s for chest ache and discomfort.

After a shower and drying yourself off, slather yourself in almond oil. Use a generous amount of almond oil on your belly, thighs, and breasts. Apply the oil in an infinity symbol or figure 8 pattern around your breasts to alleviate chest ache or discomfort. This is also good to avoid stretch marks.

#3 Foot rubs, but not ankle rubs.

A trained reflexologist will know which pressure points will help give your feet some love. Avoiding the ankles is important because there are connected to the uterus and can trigger contractions.

#4 Get on all fours!

Getting on your hands and knees helps because the baby’s weight is not pressing down on your pelvis. Also, if you are doing a lot of sitting, then you are squeezing the belly, and this gives some relief.

By getting down on all fours, you can do a few cat/cow stretches to relieve strain and stretch out the back. You can also rock your pelvis in figure 8s to loosen the hips.

Cat/cow pose involves rounding the back (cow) and then dropping the belly and extending the neck long (cat).

#5 Go into the water!

A tub or pool or natural body of water. The pressure against your belly equalizes in water so you feel weightless, which calms the baby as well.

#6 Stay away from foods that will cause inflammation.

While cravings depend on the pregnancy and it can be hard to avoid indulging in comforting foods when pregnant, an anti-inflammatory diet will relieve inflammation, therefore, pain.

This means eating as much fresh food as possible, minimizing any consumption of processed food and fast food while eating an abundance of fruits and vegetables.

#7  Eat Digestive Aids

Constipation and hemorrhoids can be the bane of any pregnancy. The best digestive aids include bananas, steel cut oats, and brown rice. Grapefruit can also reduce nausea, and can improve your appetite and aid with indigestion.

Additionally, drinking warm water with lemon in the morning as well as ginger tea during the day can help with digestion issues.

#8 Heartburn help

Avoid cow’s milk dairy, rich fatty meats, pork, roasted peanuts, peanut butter, concentrated fruit juices, wheat, sugar, and sweeteners if you are experiencing a lot of indigestion.

#9 Relax when you can.

When you can, meditate, take baths, take a nap, listen to soothing music and spend time with people who soothe you.

Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, knows all about surrogacy, intended parents and babies. Give us a call.

1. Forgetting about the happy families created through surrogacy.
Intended parents, surrogates, and the wonderful children brought into this world because of their love are real people. Articles talking about the dangers of surrogacy are not only misleading but hurtful to the individuals who are proud of their amazing families.

2. Sensationalizing tragedy instead of making a positive impact.
Journalists have a responsibility to report an accurate reality. It breaks our heart every time we read a case about a family stuck in a foreign country unable to come home with their family. It breaks our heart when we hear that a surrogate wants to keep a child who is not hers to keep.

These heartbreaking stories could be used as opportunities to educate people about surrogacy, and the importance of research.

Imagine if every article about a tragic story in surrogacy explained how thousands of families have gone through successful, beautiful surrogacy journeys. Perhaps changes would come about, such as a call for insurance companies to cover aspects of surrogacy. This would surely bring access to so many couples who can’t have children of their own, and can’t take on the cost.

3. Failing to discuss the real motivations of surrogates.
Many articles skip over the beauty and the selflessness behind becoming a gestational carrier.

The amazing women who come to Shared Conception wanting to help another family are astounding. While the media generally focuses on compensation, there are many steps between thinking about becoming a surrogate and matching with intended parents to become a gestational carrier. The women who make this selfless, generous choice are often inspired by personal experiences where they’ve seen people close to them struggle with fertility. Other women have a strong desire to help the LGBT community.

While many women do extensive research before applying, we pride ourselves on providing surrogates with as much information as possible so they are able to make the best decision.

4. Failing to mention the importance of screening surrogates.
Working with a surrogacy agency, such as Shared Conception, is valuable in part because of the extensive surrogate screening process. Several factors are considered before accepting surrogates into our surrogacy programs.

5. Reporting on traditional surrogacy as if it’s the standard.
Traditional surrogacy, an arrangement in which the surrogate becomes pregnant through artificial insemination and thus contributes her own genetic material, was standard over a decade ago, but today very few agencies will arrange traditional surrogacies. The majority of today’s surrogacy arrangements involve gestational carriers, meaning the surrogate has no genetic relation to the child. Articles reporting on traditional surrogacy rarely make this distinction.

6. Reporting on independent surrogacies as if they are the standard.
While independent surrogacy arrangements can go well, many surrogates and intended parents choose to work with a surrogacy agency instead because they realize it’s the safest option. Yet press coverage of surrogacy relies heavily on independent surrogacy stories, which gives the false impression that finding a surrogate through online advertising or word-of-mouth is the norm. Surrogacy agencies are widely used and highly respected as a safer option than working with an independent surrogacy.

7. Using harmful language.
Many headlines use terminology like “womb for rent” or refer to gestational carriers as “breeders.” This language is inconsiderate to the community of families closely tied to surrogacy. Surrogates are women who are selfless and generous, who want to help other families in need of assistance to have children. These reports make the assumption that women are somehow being misinformed about the surrogacy process, or that they only want to make money. While in fact, most agencies will not accept women with financial uncertainty. Plus, women who apply to become surrogates heavily research the process beforehand.

If you have any questions about the surrogacy process, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us. Shared Conception is happy to answer any and all of your questions.

Surrogacy law encompasses family law, contract negotiation, estate planning, insurance and often immigration law. Legal experts working with Shared Conception and other surrogacy agencies are in charge of negotiating agreements between intended parents and surrogates and often egg donors, planning for the future and the best interests of the child, making sure everyone is insured from financial risk, finalizing parental rights, and getting everyone home safely.

Here are 4 of the most important things you should know about surrogacy law.

1. Surrogacy laws differ from state to state.

Surrogacy falls under the umbrella of family law and family law is governed by the states.  The law governing  a surrogacy arrangement is almost always the one where the surrogate lives. This law will determine parentage and custody, unless the surrogate delivers in a different state.

2. Surrogacy law is always changing.

Cases are being handed down in the lower courts regularly and vital records offices are often changing their practices and procedures. It’s important for surrogacy experts to keep informed about changes in the law and the practice and to pass this information on to you.

3. Working with an experienced attorney is essential.

Despite the existence of precedent, intended parents should still work with an experienced legal professional in the surrogacy field.  And negotiating a contract is vital. Doing a surrogacy or egg donation without a contract can lead to rights or responsibilities for the egg donor or the surrogate.

4. Finalizing parental rights can take different forms.

Surrogacy is not a cookie-cutter field. Many factors come into play to determine which is the best way for those pursuing surrogacy to finalize their parental rights. For example, the state or country where the intended parents reside can regulate the finalization of parental rights.  In some states, for example, pre-birth orders (ordering hospitals to place intended parents on the birth certificate and giving the intended parents rights to make decisions for the child in the hospital) are recognized. Others, like New York and New Jersey, will not treat a pre-birth order as establishing legal rights if one parent is not biologically related to the child. In those states, the intended parents must do a step or second parent adoption back home.

Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, is versed in surrogacy law and will refer you to one of our expert surrogacy attorneys. Give us a call, we know what we are talking about! 

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is the medical procedure behind gestational surrogacy and egg donation. In the process, eggs are removed from an egg donor or from the intended mother and fertilized with sperm in a lab to
create embryos. The resulting embryos are grown in laboratory conditions for 3-5 days. In a surrogacy arrangement, these embryos are then implanted into the uterus of a gestational surrogate. In an egg donation arrangement, they are transferred into the intended mother.

In preparation for the IVF procedure, surrogates and egg donors undergo medical treatments. An egg donor will self-administer injectible medications to stimulate the production of eggs. A surrogate takes medications to
prepare her body for the embryo implantation.

Intended parents need to make a variety of choices in conjunction with the medical team at your IVF clinic. These decisions directly affect not only the success of the procedure, but also the number, health, and the
biological makeup of the prospective children. The quality of the resulting embryos may affect the number that is recommended to be implanted. You will also have legal agreements in place that stipulate the number of embryos that can be transferred. You will also need to determine what to do with any
remaining frozen embryos following the procedure.

The egg retrieval and IVF procedures are brief. Following the embryo transfer, your surrogate will require a period of bed rest. At any point in the process, you should feel free to reach out to your IVF clinic for any
medical questions or to our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, with any questions about your contract, travel or any other related issues. We always look forward to hearing from you.

 

If you’re reading this, you are most likely researching surrogacy and all that it entails. And while you’re probably still learning the ins and outs of the process, there are some things you should know that may not pop up in your next internet search.

As we want you to be fully informed as intended parents, our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, gathered a list of the top things to avoid when researching and planning a surrogacy.

1. Don’t just consider the independent route. Working with a surrogacy agency affords you a service that directly provides or arranges all the required screening, matching, medical procedures, and legal actions needed in a surrogacy. More importantly, safeguarding your parental rights and establishing parentage requires solid legal information to which we have access.

2. Don’t work with an agency or clinic that doesn’t adhere to ethical guidelines.
These guidelines have been developed to assist physicians with clinical decisions regarding the care of their patients. Guidelines are also in place for egg donor evaluations, optimal screening processes, appropriate payments to oocyte donors, and more.

3.Don’t set unrealistic expectations. Surrogacy and egg donation are human experiences. No one can control how and when an individual will respond to medication; whether or not travel plans need to be changed at the last minute; or whether, despite seemingly ideal conditions, a pregnancy will be achieved on a given transfer.
These elements are often out of your control, out of your egg donor’s control, out of your surrogate’s control, out of your clinic’s control, and out of your surrogacy agency’s control.

4.Don’t forget your support system. Rely on your spouse, family, friends, surrogacy
agency and surrogate. Be open and honest in your discussions with them. If you need it, do not hesitate to work with a counselor to help you work through the emotional challenges you may face during this evolving time in your life.

5.Don’t overlook your relationship with your surrogate. It’s important to address
expectations of the relationship between the  intended parents and the  surrogate at the start of the journey. Is a phone call once a week sufficient? Do you want to Skype on a regular basis? Is an in-person get-together important? Really think about these things,  as they can play a big part in having a fulfilling experience.

Making assumptions when going into a surrogacy arrangement is not a good idea. It’s best to heed the advice of professionals and work with a full-service surrogacy agency, such as Shared Conception. We hope the tips in today’s post will guide you, resulting in a surrogacy arrangement that has a happy ending!

For most people, covering the costs of surrogacy requires planning and organization. Here are some of Shared Conceptions favorite tips to help make the financial aspect of your surrogacy journey go smoothly:

1.  Share your story. Surrogacy is the ultimate example of people helping people. Being open about your intent to pursue surrogacy can help you gain the support of family and friends. In some cases, family members of intended parents have chipped in to help with expenses. But even if friends and family can’t assist you financially, counting on the emotional support and encouragement of the people who matter to you most can make your journey to parenthood through surrogacy much easier.

2.  Start putting funds aside. Consider setting aside money over time. Most intended parents come to a surrogacy agency after a period of careful thought and research. This is a good time to start saving.

3.  Remember you can influence the overall costs. While the surrogacy journey can be unpredictable, remember that the preferences you express and the choices you make can affect your overall expenses, including the clinic you work with. You can also look into various surrogacy programs to see which is right for you.

4.  Consider your financing options. You may be able to obtain loans from banks or lending agencies to help you cover the costs including the financing institution that Shared Conception has a relationship with. Ask us how.  Also, many intended parents also look into home equity loans as an option to pay back a portion of their expenses over time. Some intended parents even investigate the possibility of secured or unsecured loans from medical financing companies.

5.  Evaluate all of your insurance options. There are a variety of insurance options available to cover the medical costs of surrogacy, so make sure you take time to look into which is right for you. Ask for information about deductibles, enrollment fees, premiums, and out-of-pocket maximums.