For many parents pursuing surrogacy and/or egg donation as a family-building method, the term PGD may come up. This reproductive technology is used with an in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle and can be used to diagnose genetic disease in early embryos prior to the implantation in your surrogate mother. You may have also heard of the term preimplantation genetic screening (PGS), which doesn’t look for specific diseases, but uses PGD techniques to identify at-risk embryos. Here we take a look at how the test works to help you determine if it’s right for you.

How does it work?
PGD begins with IVF that includes egg retrieval and fertilization in a lab. Over the next three days, the embryo will divide into eight cells. Then one or two cells are removed from the embryo. The cells are then evaluated to determine if the inheritance of a problematic gene is present in the embryo. Once the procedure has been performed and embryos free of genetic problems have been identified, the embryo is implanted in the surrogate’s uterus in hopes of a successful pregnancy.

What are the benefits of PGD?
The reason intended parents (IPs) opt for PGD is because it can test for more than 100 different genetic conditions. Since the procedure happens before implantation, it allows IPs to decide if they wish to continue with the surrogate’s pregnancy. It’s important to keep in mind, however, it doesn’t completely eliminate the risk of conceiving a child with a genetic disorder.

If you’re interested in learning more about PGD testing, talk to your IVF doctor. And if you’re part of our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, we can help you connect you to the right people.

Starting out, I didn’t know exactly what to expect— though I could imagine the possible effects. When I first found out I was pregnant with my daughter, it was a complete surprise, and I was initially in shock and did not know what to feel or think about being pregnant. I was only 19 after all and had no plans of getting pregnant for at least a few years. After a few days, I let that news sink in and ended up embracing the news. I remember for the majority of my pregnancy being very excited and happy. I just loved it. And from time to time (after the birth) I would actually miss being pregnant (but with no desire to start over with a newborn no matter how adorable they are, lol).

I thought long and hard and discussed at length the decision to go on a surrogacy journey. Not to mention all the surrogacy blogs I read of other surrogates, each one unique in its own way. Emotions are rather unpredictable, especially when combined with a woman’s hormones. And I could not say with 100% certainty that I would come out of it ‘unscathed,’ but my husband fully supported my decision and shared my opinion that I would have the right mindset. So I decided to start with the application with my selected surrogacy agency…and see if or how far it would take me. And I am so glad I did 🙂

There was definitely a lot of frustration after going through two failed transfer attempts and three cycles—those shots aren’t exactly fun! And after feeling like I had so much trouble getting a successful transfer, I worried through most of the first trimester that the baby wouldn’t stay. I think I started really feeling confident in the pregnancy after I started feeling the first flutters of movement from baby around 17-18 weeks. My favorite part, albeit the least comfortable, is the last 2 to 3 months when you really start showing. The overall pregnancy was a good experience though different from what I had anticipated.

I realize now that a part of the kind of excitement and happiness I felt with my daughter came from preparing and planning for the baby, which is something I did not need to do in a surrogacy journey. So when that ‘nesting’ period came instead of running around preparing and arranging baby stuff, I was running around scrubbing appliances inside and out and washing down walls and doors and reorganizing closets, lol. Instead the excitement and happiness I felt was different because it wasn’t for me, but for an awesomely wonderful intended couple that had started this journey long before I stepped in.

When my water broke on a Monday morning, I knew it wouldn’t be long (though I didn’t know it would be 21 hours later-lol) that I would be laying my eyes on the child I had carried for the past 38 weeks and I wasn’t sure what or if any kind of emotion would hit me. But when I first laid eyes on her I felt nothing except the relief that pushing was over. They cut the cord, wiped her up a little bit and then I was asked if I would like to hold her. I didn’t feel the need to and wondered if I should…but decided I would. Taking her in my arms, I felt nothing but a big sense of pride wash over me, she was beautiful or as her father said when I first walked into their room as he was holding her, “She’s perfect.” I wish the parents could have made it there in time for the birth, but all that matters is that they were able to make it. I never once felt like she was mine or that she was being taken away from me. I am fully confident that my intended parents will be wonderful parents. I got a kick out of watching them with her because they acted just like new parents. I remember my first week with my baby, Chloe…she broke me in. And so Hannah will break them in, lol.

The one month pictures were just beautiful, I loved seeing how much she had grown and how healthy she looked. The parents have made it all the way home now and have had a couple of pictures on Facebook of them holding/feeding her. They make a beautiful family 🙂

Assuming everything goes well with my postpartum checkup, and I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t as I am feeling almost 100% right now (I think it helps that I didn’t tear, thank goodness!), I can totally see me going on another journey.  I can only imagine how wonderful it must feel to see new families created every day but it really is a wonderful thing surrogacy agencies are doing for these intended couples. And I am thankful to have been a small part of it.

Be it day one or the second trimester, pregnancy often yields a bit of discomfort. And the central point of that discomfort is usually the back. For many surrogates (and expectant mothers everywhere), finding relief can sometimes feel impossible.

If you are experiencing back pain during your surrogate pregnancy, try using ice, heat, or massage to relieve symptoms. Beyond that, check out the following methods to find relief. (As always, consult with your healthcare provider before beginning any new exercise program during pregnancy.)

1. Strengthen your back muscles from the get-go. The best place to start is at the beginning. Keeping those muscles strong and lean from the start of your pregnancy means more support and less pain. Who doesn’t want that?

2. Practice good posture. Stand up straight and tall with your chest high and shoulders back and relaxed. Don’t lock your knees. As the baby grows, your center of gravity naturally shifts forward. This means that you’re likely leaning backward in an effort not to fall forward. This strains the muscles in the lower back and leads to pain. To be mindful of your posture, try the following:

Stand up straight and tall

Hold your chest high

Keep your shoulders back and relaxed

Don’t lock your knees

3. Choose alternative care. Pre-natal chiropractic care during pregnancy is a safe and effect way to not only get relief but to help before, during, and after the birthing process. Acupuncture is also a wonderful option for back pain and even morning sickness.

4. Try different yoga poses and proper stretching.

5. Foam roll your lower back. Foam rolling, pregnant or not, can offer a ton of relief.

6. Wear a supportive bra and supportive shoes. Doing so can relieve some of the back discomfort by keeping the spine more neutral and providing a good base of support, respectively.

And those times you’re really feeling the throb, just think about the bigger picture. You’re helping bring life into the world for a family that is grateful beyond words! Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, is happy to help with all aspects related to a surrogacy pregnancy. Give us a call.

Surrogate mother, “What makes a great surrogate mother?”

We often get this question from surrogates (and intended parents). There's simply no clear cut answer. However, there are several qualities and factors that play into a successful journey as a surrogate mother.

Beyond meeting the requirements and passing screening, a strong surrogate should have a love of pregnancy, an understanding of the time and commitment involved, and an overall sense of compassion. Want to know more? Here are additional things to consider to enhance your time as a surrogate.

1. Be consistent with communication. As Shared Conception is a relationship-based agency, it is important you remain available to your intended parents. We encourage communication at least once a week between surrogates and intended parents. Have fun with it, too! You’re getting to know people who often become extended family.

2. Share your story with others. Becoming an advocate for surrogacy and showcasing your support for the process is one of the best things a surrogate can do. While the acceptance of surrogacy has grown tremendously, there are some people who still feel it’s wrong. And it’s usually because of inexperience with it or an unawareness of the process. With surrogate mothers sharing their experiences, more and more people can open their minds to the wonderful thing it is.

3. Use your support system. Whether you are married, partnered, dating, or single, having a primary support person is a requirement for all surrogates in our program. Beyond the physical demands of a pregnancy, you’re going to have emotional ones. This person should be able to assist with child care, housekeeping, and hormonal injections during the IVF process, and emotional support during your journey. Your support person will play an integral role in helping to make this journey a positive experience for you.

4. Be open-minded and understanding. Surrogacy is a human experience. No one can control how and when an individual will respond to medications; whether or not travel plans will need to be changed at the last minute; or whether, despite seemingly ideal conditions, a pregnancy will be achieved on a given transfer. These elements are often out of your control, which is why our surrogacy agency asks surrogates (and intended parents) to focus efforts on managing expectations throughout the process.

Shared Conception hopes these pointers offer a path to a more fulfilling surrogacy for you and your intended parents!

Which gems, stones and crystals are said to best help boost fertility? Our list of fertility stones includes each gemstone's healing properties. 

Moonstone  is a great gemstone for fertility. It has a reflective and  calming energy by balancing emotions due to stress and anxiety. It is said to have the power to grant wishes.  Moonstone is often used for fertility and infertility as it is said to regulate a woman’s menstrual cycle and boost female energy. Moonstone is a love stone, and is said to draw love to its wearer. It can help  solve problems between lovers. If it is worn during sexual intercourse, it not only can make the woman very fertile, it is said to help impregnate her too. 

Rose Quartz is said to aid increasing overall fertility. It is also helpful with headaches, migraines, sexual dysfunction,  depression, addictions, ear aches and weight loss. Rose quartz is helpful and protective during pregnancy and with childbirth. Emotionally, Rose Quartz brings forgiveness, compassion, as well as balancing one's emotions. It helps with healing emotional wounds and traumas. Rose Quartz removes fears, resentments and anger.  

Aventurine is used to encourage pregnancy and enhance fertility. It is considered the stone of love, which can boost all feelings and emotions, and also promote optimism and self-confidence. It is also believed that this stone can help to win over the heart of the loved one. It is also used to promote friendships, happiness and increasing luck.  

Pearls symbolize tears, provide love and fertility. They offer protection from negative energy and events.  

Red Carnelian is said to boost fertility, energy, promote sexuality and planned reproduction. Red Carnelian also stimulates and balances the uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, cervix and vagina. It alleviates PMS and balances reproductive hormones and helps guard against miscarriage. The stone is also used for Arthritis, Cancer, reducing cramps, stress and depression.

Aquamarine is highly protective during pregnancy, it helps to guard both mother and baby from harm.  It also discourages miscarriage. 

Fluorite is key for assisting to stabilize hormonal changes such as PMS, PCOS and menopause. 

Black Coral is one of the most widely recommended gemstones for boosting male fertility. It is said to be an emotional healer, brings peace, stimulates intuition, enhance virility and fertility as well as relieve stress. Black coral also increases creativity.

Ruby Zoiste  (also known as Anyolite) promotes fertility as it supports the reproductive process on all levels, from conception, birth to growth and development. It stimulates the root chakra to increase vitality and enthusiasm for life.

Smoky Quartz increases fertility, balances sexual energy and helps to alleviate depression for both men and women. Smoky Quartz is good for people with radiation-related illness or those in chemotherapy. Smoky Quartz has positive effect on sexual organs, therefore it is good for Myoma and Menopause. For men it is excellent for inflammation of the Prostate Gland.

Turquoise is not only December's birthstone, it is a gemstone that provides protection, grounding, strength, courage, love and luck.Turquoise is also a token of friendship. Perhaps it's strongest ability is for alleviating negativity. Many Indian tribes associate Turquoise with fertility.

Unakite is said to cleanse and balance. It is associated with fertility and has been used as a fertility aid. Unakite is also recommended for a healthy pregnancy and delivery. Many doulas will not deliver a child without the presence of Unakite.

Shared Conception hopes this information will, as always, keep you informed as well as help you choose unique stones and gems. Any gem store or several websites such injewels.net can custom create a piece for you using any combination of these stones. Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, would love hearing more about your stones and gem selections. Let us hear from you!

When adding to your family, surrogates become an important part of the equation. How do you even begin to show your gratitude to these women who have given you such a profound gift?

Treat your surrogate with these gifts; a small “thank you” for the gift they have given you.

Personalized Necklace
A custom piece of jewelry could be a lovely present for a surrogate.  You can even have the surrogate's name on the necklace.

Night Out
Pick a restaurant she would like, hire a sitter if they have kids, and treat your surrogate to a well-deserved night out. This gift will always be a winner!

Pregnancy Journal
A pregnancy journal is a wonderful way to document the journey from matching to birth and is a wonderful surrogacy keepsake.

Yummy Tea for Tough Mornings
Delicious and soothing teas will mean a lot to these amazing surrogates. You can purchase  individual teas or cute gift bundles that come with a tote bag-perfect for surrogates!

A Day at the Spa
Pamper your surrogate with a day of rest and relaxation at a local spa. For a more modest gift, treat her to cute bag filled with products to transform her home into a spa. Fill it with nail polish, body lotions and scrubs and even her favorite magazines or books.

Don’t forget her family!
A truly touching show of thanks would be to include her children in the holiday gift giving. This really shows that the intended parents care about her and the people they love.

A Photo Shoot
Involve your surrogate in a pregnancy photoshoot, it is something that you both will treasure. It is also a great photo to show your child when he or she gets older, if you so choose.

Pamper Basket 
Gather fun magazines, soothing lotions and candles, chocolates, and maybe even some gift cards for a pamper basket for a much needed pick-me-up.

Now that you have your gifts for your surrogate, enjoy the exciting moments after she receives  the gift(s)! Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, looks forward to helping you further build and enhance your family in the near future. Give us a call.

In the United States, the law that applies to surrogacy arrangements is controlled by the individual states.  Some states regulate surrogacy, some states forbid surrogacy entirely, and some states have little to no body of surrogacy law. 

In surrogacy arrangements, the most important law comes from the state where the surrogate lives and delivers the child.  For example, New Jersey’s position on surrogacy requires a second-parent adoption process to secure parental rights if a surrogate carries your child there. Other states allow a much simpler process for securing parental rights.

Texas, the home of our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, is a surrogacy friendly state.
Texas is one of the few states in the USA to recognize and enforce gestational agreements. In 2003, Governor Rick Perry signed House Bill 729 into law, which amended the Texas Family Code and authorized surrogacy agreements between a gestational mother and intended parents.

The intent of HB 729 is to  simplify the process for intended parents to become the only legal parents and for the gestational carrier to relinquish all rights pertaining to the child. Once the contract for gestational surrogacy is approved, it  immediately triggers a judicial order requiring that only the intended parents be listed on the child’s birth certificate after the child is born. 

International surrogacy arrangements add another piece to the puzzle-we suggest that intended parents consult with an attorney in their specific country to ensure that they abide by all the laws of that country and know what to do to get citizenship for their baby once they go back home. 

Before embarking on your surrogacy journey,  seek advice from reputable family law firms and surrogacy agencies, such as Shared Conception.  Surrogacy and gestational agreements shouldn’t be taken lightly due to the emotional and financial stakes involved. Our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, have helped parents near and far. Call us to talk about your potential surrogacy process.  We can help you.

“When are you due?”
“Not for another two months.”
“Have you picked out a name?”
“Not yet. The parents have a few in mind, though.”

Although you’re excited and confident about your decision to become a surrogate, some people, such as neighbors, community members, and/or acquaintances, may not feel the same way or may have a lot of questions.

If you’re faced with resistance or judgment, which often stems from misconceptions or a lack of knowledge, take a deep breath. Equipped with the following pointers from our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, you can gracefully discuss your choice to become a surrogate with anyone—even those who don’t understand.

Be confident. When you’re passionate and confident about your decisions, more often than not, people become more interested. Let others know that you’ve fully researched the topic and are confident about helping to create life for a couple or an individual.

Offer information. When discussing your surrogacy with others, it may be beneficial to provide information about the topic. Prejudice stems from people judging before they know all the facts. It’s not your responsibility to change someone’s opinion on your decision. But you can be a source of knowledge for those who are willing to listen and learn.

Accept that others may simply disagree. And hey, that’s okay. Not to sound corny, but differences in opinion make life interesting, sparking debates and conversations. The key is to be respectful.

Lower your defenses. You want those involved in your conversation to actively listen so they digest your points. Being defensive only makes the feat harder. It’s easier to get through to someone when you’re guard is down; they see that it’s safe to engage.

Topics to avoid during conversations about surrogacy.

· Religion: Religion is a touchy topic for most people. It’s also a point of controversy when it comes to surrogacy. Your best bet is to avoid the topic altogether. If someone continually brings it up, let him/her know you’re uncomfortable with the subject. If they don’t respect your wishes, remove yourself from the situation. Chances are that people who don’t respect your wishes aren’t going to be open or engaging in conversation.

· Money: Finances are personal regardless of the context. Moreover, some may argue that it’s unethical to pay money for such a process. While they do get paid, surrogates are also being compensated for their time and dedication. And many women become surrogates because of altruistic or personal reasons, not just financial gain. For example, a surrogate may have a gay friend whose dream is to have a large family with his partner. She’s the key to his making his dream come true.

· Abortion: Being a surrogate, you know that there are rare medical circumstances where intended parents may need to consider abortion or selective reduction. Many people have strong opinions about this. Because the debate is often a heated one, it’s best not to even bring it up.

Hopefully you’ll use these tips to lead discussions about your surrogacy journey toward a positive and informative direction. Most important, be sure to leave any conversation just as confident as when you entered it.

What do you think? What have you found helpful when talking about your surrogacy journey? Let us know in the comments below. Shared Conception wants to hear from you!