Looking forward to the birth process? Most surrogates choose to become surrogates because they have had such a wonderful experience with pregnancy and birth. But, in case the big day doesn’t go the way you and your Intended Parents have planned, or if you already know you will be having a cesarean, here are some tips for pre and post cesarean surgery.

After a cesarean, you are likely to be in the hospital for 3 -5 days. You should bring a picture ID, insurance card and a copy of your pre-birth order. Also, pack a few personal items such as: toothbrush and toothpaste, hairbrush and hair bands, deodorant, chap stick, face wash and moisturizer. The hospital typically provides shampoo, soap and lotion, but pack some if you prefer your own. If you wear contacts, bring your eyeglasses; it may be more comfortable throughout your hospital stay. 

As far as packing is concerned, a bathrobe, nightgown, slippers and a comfortable pair of socks may be the most comfortable for you. For pants and underpants, make sure the waistband is loose enough so it doesn’t press on your incision. Pack a good bra or two in your bag. A comfortable nursing bra, whether you breastfeed, pump, or do not do either, will provide some comfort and support when your milk comes in. 

The first few days after a c-section are delicate days. Laughing may hurt, but moving will actually do you some good. You will feel better when you are upright and improve circulation to prevent blood clots, which can be dangerous. And as unappealing as hospital food may seem, try to eat as soon as you get permission from your doctor. Eating will aid in recovery and give you the energy you need to heal. And what comes hand in hand with eating? Drinking! Stay hydrated! Hydration will help with that very important and sometimes uncomfortable first bowel movement. 

Make sure you take it easy. Keep your scar clean and wear loose fitting clothes. Make sure you check your incision for infection. Have your doctor look at your scar if it becomes tender, swollen, or if liquid is seeping from the incision.

Sources: The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy; The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists educational pamphlet Cesarean Birth

Infertility struggles affect celebrities too. As picture perfect as their lives may seem, infertility does not discriminate. Many well-known celebrities have turned to surrogacy as an option to create or expand their family. Some were very public about their struggles and others kept their choices private. Here are five celebrities you may not know, who used gestational carriers.

Robert Deniro. The Oscar winner and his wife welcomed a baby girl via surrogacy in 2011. This was not Deniro’s first surrogacy journey. He has twin 16-year-old sons that were born via surrogacy.

Jimmy Fallon. Although he and his wife kept their surrogacy journey a secret until their daughter’s birth, the late night host has been outspoken about their struggle with infertility and their five-year quest for treatments, before they decided on surrogacy.

Deidre Hall. In the early 90’s, this Days of Our Lives star and her former husband, used a surrogate at two separate times to have their two boys. This was done long before the procedure was as popular as it is today.

Ricky Martin. In 2008 the singer welcomed twin boys into the world via surrogate. Martin was very public about his gratitude towards his surrogate by showing his love and appreciation for all women that decide to become surrogates.

George Lucas. The accomplished director and Star Wars mastermind, had a daughter via surrogacy in 2013. This was his first biological child. The little baby girl joined Lucas’s 3 other adopted children.

Shared Conceptions will treat you like a celebrity throughout your entire journey! Contact us today and let us help you in creating or expanding your family.

 

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is used to treat many different problems due to infertility. IVF includes ovarian stimulation, egg retrieval and embryo transfer. 

Ovarian Stimulation

To maximize chances of achieving a pregnancy, ovarian stimulation is used to produce many follicles (each containing an egg). During a normal, unstimulated cycle, only a single follicle develops and one egg is ovulated. Growth and development of follicles are monitored very carefully during a stimulated cycle. When the follicles (and eggs) are mature, a hormone known as human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is given and egg retrieval is scheduled 34-36 hours later.

Egg Retrieval

Egg retrieval is usually performed under light anesthesia and using ultrasound guidance, but under certain circumstances, may require laparoscopy. The follicular contents are aspirated and handed to a laboratory technologist who then looks for eggs. The eggs are placed in dishes containing culture medium and incubated in a chamber maintained at body temperature. Shortly after the eggs have been retrieved, the male partner produces a semen sample. The semen is processed to isolate the most vigorous sperm to inseminate the eggs.

The day after retrieval and insemination, the eggs are examined for fertilization. Normal fertilization is indicated by the presence of two pronuclei. One pronucleus contains the genetic material from the mother and the other from the father. The fertilized eggs are examined every day until embryo transfer. Embryos can be transferred 2 to 6 days after egg retrieval and may be from the 2- to 4-cell (2-3 days after retrieval) stages of development to blastocyst (5-6 days after retrieval).

Embryo Transfer

Embryo transfer is usually a simple procedure that does not require anesthesia. Embryos are loaded into a catheter (a thin plastic tube) and catheter is gently passed through the cervix into the uterus. Ultrasound is commonly used to confirm that the catheter tip is in the proper position in the uterine cavity. Embryos that have not been transferred can be frozen and stored for use in the future.

While the implications are much deeper, of course, searching for the right surrogate is like going on a bunch of blind dates. Some of the basic facts have already been figured out, but there is still a bit of a dance that needs to happen to assess whether or not this is really, “The One.”

And, just like a future romantic partner, the feelings need to be mutual. Both parties need to feel like this is a good fit for them. You should have the sense that this woman is the perfect candidate to carry your child and – in the case of a surrogate – that her medical history and genetic materials are a good match as well.

If you’re working with an agency, that agency needs to have a reputable track record and an adequate history of successful surrogate stories so you know you can trust them.

7 Questions to Help You Select a Trustworthy Surrogacy Agency

1. How long have you been in business? Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) is becoming increasingly popular as the result of improved infertility diagnosis, the number of women waiting to start their families, and the number of LGBTQ+ individuals and couples who want to start families. This has resulted in increased numbers of surrogacy agencies, some of whom get their start via a website and a couple of interested surrogates. Surprisingly, laws are fairly lenient when it comes to running a surrogacy agency. We recommend looking for agencies that have been around for at least 5 years or more. This is a good sign that they have established policies, procedures and legal protocols that have stood the test of time.

2. How many families (clients) has your agency assisted? Similarly, the more the merrier right? A surrogacy agency that has both been in business for roughly five years or more, and has helped a substantial number of clients, is probably doing a good job. These numbers may vary a bit but most successful and established agencies are working with roughly 40 to 50 couples or clients at a time.

3. What kind of screening is provided for your surrogates or gestational carriers? This is such an important process. Being a surrogate or gestational carrier is hard work – mentally, emotionally and – of course – physically. You want to make sure the woman carrying your baby has a clean bill of health and a strong mental health assessment. Your surrogate’s commitment to a healthy lifestyle is essential to the health of your baby. Some of the top surrogacy agencies also screen their surrogates for financial hardship and a criminal background history. This should be a labor of love on their part. While the money is nice, their primary reason for doing this work should be to help an individual or couple in need. If you’re working with a fertility center, odds are screening will happen on that end as well, for further reassurance.

4. Have you ever been sued? Of course, the emotional complexities surrounding surrogacy are many. So, having been sued is not a crime or even a huge red flag. Multiple law suits, however, should cause you to take note. You can also go a step further and inquire whether the surrogates and the families have ever been involved in legal disputes. Again, most of the best agencies will be able to answer, “no and no,” which indicates they have their act together.

5. Do your price quotes match what we’ll actually pay? You know how that goes: the “quote” says one thing and the final bill states another. Your surrogacy agency should provide clients with a very clear and itemized quote, including every single potential cost. The final price should match this – without any hidden fees or surprise charges.

6. Can we use our own lawyer? In most cases, our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, recommends choosing a lawyer who has experience with the legal ins-and-outs of surrogacy and gestational carrying. This is a specialty niche for sure, and the laws vary from state to state. If you don’t have your own lawyer, the agency should be able to provide a list of referrals.

7. What insurance is used to cover the surrogate? In all cases, surrogates and gestational carriers should be provided with a specific health insurance policy that covers services for surrogacy. This is not always the case, so be wary of any agency who claims to use surrogates or gestational carriers who have health insurance through their own workplace. Not only do these policies rarely cover surrogates, employment is not a  guarantee so a surrogate who is laid off, or whose company goes out of business mid-pregnancy, could wind up without health insurance.

Contact our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, to learn more.

Will Dyeing my Hair, Makeup or Perfume Impact my IVF Success?  

The long awaited day has arrived: you and your partner are about to undergo your first round of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). IVF is the process of fertilization by extracting eggs, retrieving a sperm sample, and then manually combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish. The embryo(s) is then transferred to the uterus. All of a sudden, you realize there are a million questions that you forgot to ask your doctor: Is it safe to dye my hair? Can I use makeup and perfume? Will any or all of these affect my chances of IVF success?

IVF and Hair Dye – The Information You Need to Know Before Starting Your First IVF Cycle

The verdict on hair dye varies from clinic to clinic. Some say you can use it throughout your IVF cycle, holding off when you’re waiting to see your positive pregnancy results and then for the rest of your first trimester. Others say to hold off all together. 

The more we learn about environmental chemicals and their negative effects on fertility, the more we’re coming to understand that several of the most common ingredients used in hair dye and other cosmetics are endocrine disruptors, meaning they alter your natural hormone levels. Some are able to cross the placenta, introducing toxic chemicals into your uterus.

Since your future conception depends on just the right amount of hormones at just the right time, abstaining from hair dyeing is probably your best bet. If you can’t stand it, dye your hair for the last time no later than the second week of your IVF cycle and then hold out from there.

Can I wear makeup while I’m in the midst of my IVF cycles?

By now, our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, assumes that you have looked up everything under the sun regarding your body, fertility and the things that can make your body less-than-fertile. As we mentioned above, current research points to more and more environmental factors that seem to play a role in infertility, including chemicals that are used in many of the cosmetics housed in our showers and cabinets. Now is a good time to switch over to more earth-friendly health and beauty products. As a rule of thumb, the fewer ingredients listed on a bottle, the better.

What about perfume?

If you can, try and stay away from scented and fragranced products, including perfume and commercial deodorants, throughout your IVF cycle and even into the first trimester, just to be safe.  Fragrance is an ubiquitous term used on beauty and cosmetic product labels – including your perfume – to stand for a hodge-podge of chemicals that create a particular smell. In many cases, there are very few  truly "natural” ingredients involved.

If you are someone who loves to wear perfume, we recommend visiting a store that specializes in eco-friendly natural health and beauty care products, made without the use of synthetic chemicals, and talking to them about essential oils. There are plenty of wonderful essential oils that can be used alone or in combination with one another to help you smell and feel better – without the negative side effects. Just a few drops are all you need.

Do keep in mind that some essential oils, such as wormwood, rue, oak moss, Lavandulastoechas, camphor, parsley seed, sage, and hyssop should not be used during pregnancy.

When in Doubt Leave Vanity by The Wayside During IVF Cycles

You’ve worked so hard to get to this point. If you have any doubts at all about a particular product, habit or treatment, why not skip it for the duration of your IVF cycle, until you get the go ahead from your doctor? Once you hold your beautiful, healthy baby in your arms – all of the sacrifices you have made will be well worth it.

Contact our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, to learn more about IVF or to schedule a consultation.

We are now a society that is permanently “plugged in.” We have the ability to share our lives through the World Wide Web and have access to many others including friends, family, and even strangers. Surrogacy begins as a personal decision. Once matched and pregnant, there are more parties and feelings involved, so there are more limits or boundaries about posting and sharing your journey on social media.

Intended Parents need to think about their comfort level when sharing and posting to various social media platforms. Intended parents also need to take into consideration what their surrogate feels is appropriate to share. If you are a surrogate, you’ll need to consider the level of comfort of the Intended Parents and their feelings. A post about a common pregnancy complaint such as, “Stick a fork in me. I’m done!” can be hurtful for your intended parents to read.

Making sure you are aware and sensitive of each other’s feelings is a good start. Have a conversation with your Intended Parents or surrogate and come to a unanimous decision about what you deem appropriate to share and what not to share. Also, double-check your contract for any privacy clauses.

Be aware that once your post, comment, tweet or instagram pic is on the Internet, it does not go away and is for all to see, including the other party involved in you journey. Even if you are not friends or connected with your surrogate/intended parent on social media, sometime posts or comments have a funny way of getting into the wrong hands. That is why it is most important to be on the same page as your surrogate or Intended Parents. Any level of comfort is acceptable, as long as it is clearly communicated between all that are involved.

Surrogacy in some form has been around for ages.

You can even see early forms of it in some religious texts.

In Jewish and Christian writings you have:

§ Sarah’s servant acting as a kind of surrogate; and

§ The growth of Jacob’s family through the use of surrogates.

In each of these instances, the sperm of the father and the egg of the surrogate produced the heir(s).

Thankfully, surrogacy in this century looks completely different due to the advances in the medical field.

Now, an embryo created from the intended parents can be transferred into a surrogate mother who will then carry the baby to term. The baby has no biological connection to the surrogate mother and is a genetically connected offspring of both the intended parents.

For women who are unable to produce eggs, donated eggs and the father’s sperm can create the embryo and that embryo transferred to the surrogate mother.

Today, parents who want to have children have a wide range of options to create the family they desire.

Surrogacy allows intended parents to create their families using their own egg and sperm or donated matter. It’s all possible thanks to surrogates who are willing to give the gift of life to loving and caring intended parents. As you can tell, we are passionate about creating YOUR family for you. Give our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception, a call and start your unforgettable journey towards your enhanced family unit.

One of the hardest things to do in surrogacy is wait.  This goes for all parties:  the IPs, the surrogate, the egg donor, the agency coordinator, etc.  It's so hard to wait when something so amazing is almost in your grasp; you just have to put the final pieces of the puzzle into place.  Waiting is also one of the most important things in surrogacy.  Imagine rushing into any other type of commitment and the consequences it can have.  You might meet a lovely couple or a lovely woman wanting to be a surrogate and think, "this is it!  Let's get this show on the road!" but there are so many important factors to consider.

The big questions have to be discussed before you ever move forward.  How many embryos will we transfer?  Are we open to reduction/termination?  What will our fees be?  What type of birthing situation would we like?  A good agency, such as Shared Conception,  can and will help you to discuss these items and may even do some of this screening before you even meet in person.  It may seem a little odd to initially talk about so many intimate details, but it's important to be sure that everyone understands each other.

One of the things I've seen so many people do is compromise their true desires and end up disappointed or in a position they did not want to be in.  The effects of this decision can run the range from casting a shadow of awkwardness over the journey to ending up with procedures you agreed to, on paper, but never thought you'd have to actually experience.  True matching should go over the seemingly trivial details and the hard, heavy items ad naseum so that no one has regrets later on. People tend to get caught up in the emotion of the process and think, "This is almost what I want so those few things won't matter."  Trust me, they matter.  They matter a lot.  So, slow down, think it through, stick to what you originally want for your journey. You might have to wait a little longer, but the wait is worth it. Not much is finite and predictable in surrogacy but the more solid foundation you lay, the more refined the process. Trying to shove pieces together that don't fit never works out well.  Practicing patience to find that perfect match is one of the smartest decisions anyone involved in surrogacy can make. Another smart decision is to contact our surrogacy agency, Shared Conception. We can help you make the best decisions for you.