What happens after you meet the intended parents, agree to ride this incredible journey with them and them have a wonderful experience throughout your pregnancy? As you approach the time for the birth, you should start to think about the pre-birth and hospital considerations. Here is a list of the points you want to discuss and understand, so you have a great finish to your surrogacy experience.
- You’ll want to discuss with the intended parents about how they want to experience labor and delivery. Also, discuss any your wants and wishes during the labor process. Remember, if you have any concerns or fears, Shared Conception is there to help you navigate through this very sensitive, emotional but also wonderful period.
- Make sure you establish a plan so the intended parents can easily reach you when“it’s time”! Arriving at the hospital together will help hospital staff relate to you as a unit. Staff will be more understanding, accommodating and flexible if they see you as a respectful team.
- Set your level of comfort with your intended Mom regardingthe difference between “supportive” and “too much”. Ask questions about expectations rather than make assumptions.
- Before your visit to the hospital, brush up on the policies about who may attend the
birth, what happens if a c-section is required, ID bands, staying at the
hospital overnight, nursery or“rooming-in” Shared Conception will always help
address these issues.
- After the birth, the intended parents will follow the baby to
watch the bath, and first exams. We encourage the intended parents to check back with you
often to see how you are doing. Some surrogate mothers feel left out and lost at this point and are truly concerned about the baby. - Have your support person take lots of pictures– pictures help re-experience what happened. These things happen so fast and this will allow you to better complete the
emotional process. Plus, pictures are fun to share and help others to celebrate.
A lack of pictures can be a regret. However, it’s very important to make sure that the intended parents are okay with you taking pictures. - In our experience, it is a joy for the surrogate mother to see the new parents
with their baby. Spending time together in the hospital room and holding the baby is fun as much as it is important. - Years of experience proves that it is BEST if a surrogate mother (with her family) and baby/babies (with new parents) leave the hospital at the same time when possible.
- Post birth contact can be difficult when contact changes from very frequent (prior to the birth) to infrequent or no contact after leaving the hospital. Our best advice is to check in with the intended parents when you arrive home but do understand that they are busy with the baby and may not be able to get back to you as quickly as before.
Shared Conception is fully committed to expertly and compassionately guiding you through the pre and post-birth hospital considerations. Call on us, we are here to help.