One of my previous blog posts had to do with my utter contempt of the phrase “rent-a-womb.” You can read the blog here. One surrogate mom, Rachel M. had this response:
“For some of us, myself included, we have to use terms like ‘rent-a-womb’ because it aids in relieving some of the emotional attachment that comes with carrying a baby. Women know, everyone else fails to realize that once a woman becomes pregnant a very heavy emotional bond develops, regardless of whether the child is our own or we are carrying that baby for someone else. For me that bond is lessened, albeit a little, by using such terms as rent-a-womb and a few others that I am sure the writer would take great offense to. Additionally I do not want to see or hold the baby once delivered. I made that mistake with the first that I carried and it was extremely difficult to get past it. It’s a choice that I have made and for me it works.”
Surrogate mothers will emotionally bond with the babies they carry. Some ways they can lessen that bond are as follows:
- Opt not to hold the baby after delivery
- Breastfeeding is a big no-no
- Never refer to the baby(ies) as their own; even to strangers
- Always remember that their being pregnant is a gift to a couple
In the end, all of our surrogates are thrilled to deliver happy healthy babies for the parents who went through such great lengths to facilitate their birth. Intended parents will never forget how these ladies’ kind and selfless act forever changed their lives and their families.